Jokes Collection
Enjoy our collection of over 100,000 jokes. Find humor for every occasion and share laughs with friends and family.
Latest Jokes
As a sign of the new geopolitical reality, Putin and Trump signed a declaration: “No wars – only smiles!” Putin suggested settling disputes with a cup of tea, and Trump added: “And if someone disagrees, we’ll send them on vacation to the Caribbean, to Guantanamo.”
Putin and Trump decided that the time for threats was over. Putin declared: "Let's hand out pelmeni instead of tanks!" And Trump added: "And I will build bridges of hamburgers to unite people." Together they proved that even geopolitics can be tasty and kind.
Joe Biden has become the first US president to screw up everything at once in one presidential term.
Negotiations with Trump should be started in his own style:
- The lease agreement for Alaska has expired. Will you renew it?
- The lease agreement for Alaska has expired. Will you renew it?
For four years I have been gathering you whores on one ship, said Trump, launching a missile at the cruise liner Villa Vie Odyssey.
- Hi, maybe we can go somewhere together?
- Well... if you were prettier, I might agree...
- If I were prettier, I wouldn't ask you.
- Well... if you were prettier, I might agree...
- If I were prettier, I wouldn't ask you.
Huge reserves of lithium have been explored in the village of Shevchenko, they are among the top 10 reserves in the world. If these reserves go to America, the lithium will be taken to China and used to make batteries for Tesla. If these reserves go to Europe, the lithium will be taken to China and used to make batteries for the Swedish company Lynk&Co and Zeekr. If the lithium goes to the Russians, the lithium will be taken to China and used to make batteries for cars and Huawei and Xiaomi phones. This explains the mysterious smile of the Chinese leader.
Kamala Harris may not have been elected president, but she did something more. She invented and demonstrated the best way to call your ex - not to call, but to stupidly talk to a selfie camera and laugh!
- Who owns McDonald's now?
- I don't know, but it must be someone really cool if they have Trump himself working at the checkout.
- I don't know, but it must be someone really cool if they have Trump himself working at the checkout.
You can watch three things forever: Trump after the Nth assassination attempt, Biden looking for a way out of the stage, and Harris laughing.
- So, what's going on in America? How did the elections end?
- Trump won. And Harris will be president.
- Trump won. And Harris will be president.
Zombies wandering around the White House looking for brains stumbled upon Kamala Harris and Joe Biden and were left hungry.
Kamala Harris is running for office under the slogan "Laughter without reason is a sign of stupidity."
Amazing guys in these American media. Biden doesn't remember his name, who his wife is, or who Kamala Harris is, and they ask him questions about the economy and the fate of the world...
— Question for Artificial Intelligence: How to ensure Kamala Harris' victory over Donald Trump?
— Answer from Artificial Intelligence: Assassinate her and shoot off both ears.
— Answer from Artificial Intelligence: Assassinate her and shoot off both ears.
A meeting at the White House in the United States.
Kamala Harris (Vice President):
- The problem with power in the United States is sclerosis. We have begun to forget who our enemies are and who our friends are!
Joe Biden:
- No. The problem with power in the United States is unpunctuality. The meeting has been going on for half an hour, and the president has not yet arrived. Where is Trump, where is this upstart?!
Kamala Harris (Vice President):
- The problem with power in the United States is sclerosis. We have begun to forget who our enemies are and who our friends are!
Joe Biden:
- No. The problem with power in the United States is unpunctuality. The meeting has been going on for half an hour, and the president has not yet arrived. Where is Trump, where is this upstart?!
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