List Quotes

Trump made history as the man who stopped the first female president. Twice.
Kamala Harris may not have been elected president, but she did something more. She invented and demonstrated the best way to call your ex - not to call, but to stupidly talk to a selfie camera and laugh!
- Who owns McDonald's now?
- I don't know, but it must be someone really cool if they have Trump himself working at the checkout.
After purchasing and renaming Twitter, Elon Musk refers to himself as Mister X.
You can watch three things forever: Trump after the Nth assassination attempt, Biden looking for a way out of the stage, and Harris laughing.
- So, what's going on in America? How did the elections end?
- Trump won. And Harris will be president.
Kamala Harris' greatest achievement is the lack of any "achievements."
Zombies wandering around the White House looking for brains stumbled upon Kamala Harris and Joe Biden and were left hungry.
Kamala Harris is running for office under the slogan "Laughter without reason is a sign of stupidity."
Amazing guys in these American media. Biden doesn't remember his name, who his wife is, or who Kamala Harris is, and they ask him questions about the economy and the fate of the world...
� Question for Artificial Intelligence: How to ensure Kamala Harris' victory over Donald Trump?
� Answer from Artificial Intelligence: Assassinate her and shoot off both ears.
A meeting at the White House in the United States.
Kamala Harris (Vice President):
- The problem with power in the United States is sclerosis. We have begun to forget who our enemies are and who our friends are!
Joe Biden:
- No. The problem with power in the United States is unpunctuality. The meeting has been going on for half an hour, and the president has not yet arrived. Where is Trump, where is this upstart?!
- Tell me, from what point would you like to rewrite the of your life?
- And will it be possible to choose parents?
UN Secretary General Guterres has been declared a foreign agent in Israel.
I've been through a lot... Who else has had this happen - my mistress, while I was alive, left one husband for another (
A great brand doesn't just serve customers, it turns them into lifelong advocates.
It suddenly turned out that on the eve of the Olympics, WADA lost samples of 900 athletes suspected of doping. But there is no need to worry: not a single doping sample of Russian athletes was lost.
"Biden has become mentally deficient. Kamala was born this way," Trump said Saturday at a campaign event in Wisconsin. Sometimes it's hard to disagree with Donny.
- In France, the trial of Marine Le Pen begins, in the US, the trial of Trump continues, what could this be for?
- The current administration is afraid that they will come to power, well, they can't kill the candidates because of this!
I understood why all doctors say that you need to drink 2 liters of water a day. This is the minimum volume needed to wash down all the pills for the day when you are over 40.
Samsung is launching two new lines of smartphones: anti-personnel and anti-tank!
- Why is happiness so elusive?
- Because you look for it in the future, not in the present.
What's the difference between comedy and drama? When Jen Psaki speaks, it's comedy. When President Obama repeats her nonsense, it's drama.
Can a woman get pregnant by another woman?
Yes, if one of them is competing in the Olympics.
The girl boxer failed the gender test.
She turned out to be a woman, so she was not allowed to compete in the women's competition.
- Roza Markovna, look at the fabric I bought for my Semyon's tie.
- The fabric is wonderful, but isn't it too much for a tie?
- And I'll make myself a dress from the leftovers.
From family life.
- It's time to stop these stupid, senseless expenses, - the husband declared to his wife.
- My dear, I don't spend more than you earn. I just spend a little faster.
The near future... An American athlete has demanded an Olympic gold medal for himself because he feels like an Olympic champion.
John, do you know the events that brought shame to France? Napoleon's Battle of Waterloo and Macron's Olympics.
John, sipping a cocktail, tells the company:
- It's all strange: my grandmother rode a horse, but was afraid of cars. My mother drove a car, but was afraid of airplanes. My daughter loves to fly on airplanes, but is afraid of horses...

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