Philip Dormer Stanhope 4th Earl of Chesterfield Quotes

The nation looked upon him as a deserter, and he shrunk into insignificancy and an earldom. Not to care for philosophy is to be a true philospher. Most arts require long study and application; but the most useful of all, that of pleasing, only the desire. A man of the best parts and greatest learning, if he does not know the world by his own experience and observation, will be very absurd, and consequently very unwelcome in company. He may say very good things; but they will be probably so ill-timed, misplaced, or improperly addressed, that he had much better hold his tongue. Women are much more like each other than men: they have, in truth, but two passions, vanity and love; these are their universal characteristics. Loud laughter is the mirth of the mob, who are only pleased with silly things; for true Wit or good Sense never excited a laugh since the creation of the world. A man of parts and fashion is therefore often seen to smile, but never heard to laugh. Women who are either indisputably beautiful, or indisputably ugly, are best flattered upon the score of their understandings. If you will please people, you must please them in their own way; and as you cannot make them what they should be, you must take them as they are. There are some occasions when a man must tell half his secret, in order to conceal the rest. Little secrets are commonly told again, but great ones generally kept. Those who see and observe kings, heroes, and statesmen, discover that they have headaches, indigestion, humors and passions, just like other people; every one of which in their turns determine their wills in defiance of their reason. Men are much more unwilling to have their weaknesses and their imperfections known than their crimes. To please people is a great step towards persuading them. Few men are of one plain, decided color; most are mixed, shaded, and blended; and vary as much, from different situations, as changeable silks do from different lights. When you have found out the prevailing passion of any man, remember never to trust him where that passion is concerned. Enjoy pleasures, but let them be your own, and then you will taste them. Whenever I go to an opera, I leave my sense and reason at the door with my half-guinea, and deliver myself up to my eyes and my ears. Good manners are the settled medium of social, as specie is of commercial, life; returns are equally expected for both. Since attaining the full use of my reason no one has ever heard me laugh. To know a little of anything gives neither satisfaction nor credit, but often brings disgrace or ridicule. We are, in truth, more than half what we are by imitation. Human nature is the same everywhere; the modes only are different. People hate those who make them feel their own inferiority. Either a good or a bad reputation outruns and gets before people wherever they go. It is good breeding alone that can prepossess people in your favor at first sight, more time being necessary to discover greater talents. Whoever plays deep must necessarily lose his money or his character. Without some dissimulation no business can be carried on at all. Observe any meetings of people, and you will always find their eagerness and impetuosity rise or fall in proportion to their numbers. The world can doubtless never be well known by theory: practice is absolutely necessary; but surely it is of great use to a young man, before he sets out for that country, full of mazes, windings, and turnings, to have at least a general map of it, made by some experienced traveler. The more one works, the more willing one is to work.