Bill Hader

People ask me, \'Did you always want to be on SNL?\' No, actually, it never crossed my mind. It didn\'t even seem possible. It would\'ve been like saying, \'Hey, do you wanna go to the moon?\'

I wrote a fan e-mail to Michael Chabon.

I\'m very close to my sisters.

Even though it doesn\'t look like it, I run. On a treadmill. And I bounce around to all the songs on my iPod - the Pixies, Wagner, Richard and Linda Thompson, even books on tape. Just not self-help ones.

Voices are a good way to get in and out of things. James Carville constantly calls my wife to say I\'ll be home late. Mandy Patinkin and Al Pacino call to get me restaurant reservations.

I learned a lot just watching people perform.

I set the time on my iPhone to be 30 minutes late, so I\'m only an hour and a half late to appointments now.

My first real job, I sold Christmas trees when I was twelve for extra money. I did that until I was fifteen. Then I bagged groceries, and I worked at the first Borders ever in Tulsa, Oklahoma.

I remember being unbelievable bummed when \'Freaks and Geeks\' was canceled.

I\'m always up before everybody else. I also crash at 3 o\'clock when everybody\'s at their prime.

Good directors give short and specific instructions to their actors.

Fred Willard still makes me laugh.

I would do \'Superbad,\' and the next offers you would get would all be crazy cop characters or crazy security guards or something.

I like when you are telling a story and fall into an impression.

I really liked John Candy in \'Planes, Trains & Automobiles.\' He was so good in that movie.

I can\'t do Twitter or Facebook, mostly because I feel like I\'m the type of person who has to regiment the amount of time I spend doing certain things or I\'ll just wade in it, and then I\'ll never come out.

My wife and I got to go onstage at a Flaming Lips concert at Webster Hall once. We dressed up like Scientology aliens and danced around. We had a shootout onstage with Santa Claus.

I don\'t believe in the term \'guilty pleasure,\' because it implies I should feel ashamed for liking something. A real guilty pleasure would be, I don\'t know, taking gratification in some stranger\'s ghastly death or something - which I guess I do enjoy, because I read a ton of true crime.

David Sedaris is so good that it makes me mad.

I\'ve been a big fan of David Wain\'s and was honored to get to be in one of his projects.

The nature of \'SNL\' is that it\'s so in-the-moment.

If you watch \'SNL,\' any time there\'s this thing with everyone singing, I\'m, like, the one person who just has a straight line of dialogue because I can\'t sing to save my life.

You know what, I remember being on my T-ball team and telling people about \'Platoon.\'

I kind of romanticized what it was like to be a writer and director when I was in my early twenties. Working as a production assistant knocked that right out of me.

I grew up in a total Pink Floyd house.

The first time I met James Franco, he was dressed like James Dean. He was James Dean, literally, filming a biopic.

You can be the lead in a movie just for the sake of being a lead in a movie, or you can just be in a good movie.

My mom, dad, grandparents, we all do voices.

For our anniversary, my wife and I went to see Godzilla, and then we ate at Barnyard Venice, and it was like, \'We are crazy! The Kardashians have to keep up with us!\'

Turns out typecasting is a real thing.