gentlemen

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gentlemen

A lawyer is a gentlemen that rescues your estate from your enemies and then keeps it to himself.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
If those gentlemen would let me alone I should be much obliged to them. I would say, as Shakespeare would say... Sweet Friend, for Jesus sake forbear.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
If the barricades went up in our streets and the poor became masters, I think the priests would escape, I fear the gentlemen would; but I believe the gutters would simply be running with the blood of philanthropists.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
Idealism is the noble toga that political gentlemen drape over their will to power.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
I really think that American gentlemen are the best after all, because kissing your hand may make you feel very good but a diamond and a sapphire bracelet lasts forever.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
There were gentlemen and there were seamen in the navy of Charles the Second. But the seamen were not gentlemen; and the gentlemen were not seamen.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
A church is a place in which gentlemen who have never been to heaven brag about it to persons who will never get there.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
The right honorable gentlemen is indebted to his memory for his jokes and his imagination for his facts.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
An American cannot converse, but he can discuss, and his talk falls into a dissertation. He speaks to you as if he was addressing a meeting; and if he should chance to become warm in the discussion, he will say Gentlemen to the person with whom he is conversing.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
Peter Gibbons: Boy, I'll tell ya, some days... One of these days it's gonna be just like
[He mimics the sound of a machine gun. Brian, a waiter, walks up and does the same and laughs]
Brian, Chotchkie's Waiter: So can I get you gentlemen something more to drink? Or maybe something to nibble on? Some Pizza Shooters, Shrimp Poppers, or Extreme Fajitas?
Peter Gibbons: Just coffee.
Brian, Chotchkie's Waiter: Okay. Sounds like a case of the Mondays. More [07/25/2005 12:07:00]
Deacon: Look its the gentlemen guppy.More [12/07/2005 12:12:00]
Sailor: I'd like to apologize to you gentlemen for referring to you all as homosexuals. You taught me a valuable lesson.More [02/26/2006 12:02:00]
This gentlemen is convinced he knows where bodies are buried, he knows who did it, but he can't convince law enforcement because they consider him to be unscientific and more looney tuney.More [04/05/2006 12:04:00]
You will not like me. The gentlemen will be envious and the ladies will be appalled.More [05/19/2006 12:05:00]
[first lines]
Rochester: Allow me to be frank at the commencement. You will not like me. The gentlemen will be envious and the ladies will be repelled. You will not like me now and you will like me a good deal less as we go on. Ladies, an announcement: I am up for it, all the time. That is not a boast or an opinion, it is bone hard medical fact. I put it round you know. And you will watch me putting it round and sigh for it. Don't. It is a deal of trouble for you and you are better off watching and drawing your conclusions from a distance than you would be if I got my tarse up your petticoats. Gentlemen. Do not despair, I am up for that as well. And the same warning applies. Still your cheesy erections till I have had my say. But later when you shag - and later you will shag, I shall expect it of you and I will know if you have let me down - I wish you to shag with my homuncular image rattling in your gonads. Feel how it was for me, how it is for me and ponder. 'Was that shudder the same shudder he sensed? Did he know something more profound? Or is there some wall of wretchedness that we all batter with our heads at that shining, livelong moment. That is it. That is my prologue, nothing in rhyme, no protestations of modesty, you were not expecting that I hope. I am John Wilmot, Second Earl of Rochester and I do not want you to like me.More [04/10/2007 12:04:00]
Harry Faversham: Willoughby, you look wonderful, darling.
Jack Durrance: Princess Willoughby.
Harry Faversham: Miss Willoughby.
William Trench: A hair is out of place there, Tom.
Willoughby: When are you gentlemen going to grow up?
Harry Faversham: Gentlemen! Did he call us gentlemen?
Jack Durrance: I believe he did.
Harry Faversham: I won't take that from him.
Jack Durrance: Nor will I.More [04/18/2007 12:04:00]
Jack: I don't actually know who I am by birth. I was... well, I was found.
Lady Bracknell: Found?
Jack: Yes. The late Mr. Thomas Cardew, an old gentlemen of a kindly disposition found me and gave me the name of Worthing because he happened to have a first class ticket to Worthing at the time. Worthing is a place in Sussex. It's a seaside resort.
Lady Bracknell: And where did this charitable gentlemen with the first class ticket to the seaside resort find you?
Jack: In a handbag.
Lady Bracknell: [closes eyes briefly] A handbag?
Jack: Yes, Lady Bracknell, I was in a hand bag. A somewhat large... black... leather handbag with handles... to it.
[pause]
Lady Bracknell: An ordinary handbag.
Lady Bracknell: And where did this Mr. James... or, Thomas Cardew come across this ordinary handbag?
Jack: The cloak room at Victoria Station. It was given to him in mistake for his own...
Lady Bracknell: [Shocked] The cloak room at Victoria Station?
Jack: Yes. The Brighton line.
Lady Bracknell: The line is immaterial.
[begins tearing up notes]
Lady Bracknell: Mr. Worthing. I must confess that I feel somewhat bewildered by what you have just told me. To be born, or at any rate bred in a handbag, whether it have handles or not, seems to me to display a contempt for the ordinary decencies of family life which reminds one of the worst excesses of the French revolution, and I presume you know what that unfortunate movement led to?More [04/20/2007 12:04:00]
Nash: I will not buy you gentlemen beer.
Bender: Oh, we're not here for beer, my friend.More [04/28/2007 12:04:00]
Gordon Gekko: [at the Teldar Paper stockholder's meeting] Well, I appreciate the opportunity you're giving me Mr. Cromwell as the single largest shareholder in Teldar Paper, to speak. Well, ladies and gentlemen we're not here to indulge in fantasy but in political and economic reality. America, America has become a second-rate power. Its trade deficit and its fiscal deficit are at nightmare proportions. Now, in the days of the free market when our country was a top industrial power, there was accountability to the stockholder. The Carnegies, the Mellons, the men that built this great industrial empire, made sure of it because it was their money at stake. Today, management has no stake in the company! All together, these men sitting up here own less than three percent of the company. And where does Mr. Cromwell put his million-dollar salary? Not in Teldar stock; he owns less than one percent. You own the company. That's right, you, the stockholder. And you are all being royally screwed over by these, these bureaucrats, with their luncheons, their hunting and fishing trips, their corporate jets and golden parachutes.
Cromwell: This is an outrage! You're out of line Gekko!
Gordon Gekko: Teldar Paper, Mr. Cromwell, Teldar Paper has 33 different vice presidents each earning over 200 thousand dollars a year. Now, I have spent the last two months analyzing what all these guys do, and I still can't figure it out. One thing I do know is that our paper company lost 110 million dollars last year, and I'll bet that half of that was spent in all the paperwork going back and forth between all these vice presidents. The new law of evolution in corporate America seems to be survival of the unfittest. Well, in my book you either do it right or you get eliminated. In the last seven deals that I've been involved with, there were 2.5 million stockholders who have made a pretax profit of 12 billion dollars. Thank you. I am not a destroyer of companies. I am a liberator of them! The point is, ladies and gentleman, that greed, for lack of a better word, is good. Greed is right, greed works. Greed clarifies, cuts through, and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit. Greed, in all of its forms; greed for life, for money, for love, knowledge has marked the upward surge of mankind. And greed, you mark my words, will not only save Teldar Paper, but that other malfunctioning corporation called the USA. Thank you very much.More [05/16/2007 12:05:00]
Harry Pendel: At the table, bunch of gentlemen from the loyal opposition. They come much cheaper, naturally.More [06/18/2007 12:06:00]
Kevin Lomax: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I know you've spent all morning listening to Mr. Broygo talk; I know you're hungry; what I need to tell you won't take very long at all. I don't like Alexander Cullen. I don't think he's a nice person. I don't expect you to like him. He's been a terrible husband to all three of his wives; he's been a destructive force in the lives of his stepchildren; he's cheated the city, his partners, his employees... So I don't like him. I'm going to tell you some things during the course of this trial that are going to make you like him even less. But this isn't a popularity contest; it's a murder trial.More [08/27/2007 12:08:00]
[the owners are discussing the commissioner's job with Judge Landis]
Judge Friend: Well we're in search of someone uh...
Charles Comiskey: We feel that we need a commissioner who will clean up baseball and give a new face to the sport. We're prepared to grant you certain powers...
Judge Kenesaw Mountain Landis: Absolute powers
Charles Comiskey: Absolute powers?
Judge Kenesaw Mountain Landis: Won't work any other way. People won't believe it. Absolute powers
Charles Comiskey: Well we're prepared to give you a 5 year contract...
Judge Kenesaw Mountain Landis: Lifetime contract
Judge Friend: Lifetime?
Judge Kenesaw Mountain Landis: A man worried about his job is bound to play favorites. Now you gentlemen don't want that do you?
Charles Comiskey: Well a lifetime contract sounds a little...
Judge Kenesaw Mountain Landis: [slaps flyswatter down on the desk] I'm due back in the courtroom in 5 minutes gentlemen, let's talk salary.More [10/06/2007 12:10:00]
Maj. Gen. J.E.B. Stuart: You wish to see me, sir?
General Robert E. Lee: [Lee nods and sighs; there is a short pause] It is the opinion of some... excellent officers that you have let us all down.
Maj. Gen. J.E.B. Stuart: [angry at the slight to his honor] General Lee, sir, if you will please tell me who these gentlemen are...
General Robert E. Lee: There will be none of that. There is no time.
Maj. Gen. J.E.B. Stuart: Sir, I only ask that I be allowed to defend my...
General Robert E. Lee: [raising his voice slightly] There is no time.
[Stuart looks stunned]
General Robert E. Lee: General Stuart... your mission was to free this army from the enemy cavalry and report any movement by the enemy's main body. That mission was not fulfilled. You left here with no word of your movement or movement of the enemy for several days. Meanwhile, we were engaged here and drawn into battle without adequate knowledge of the enemy's strength or position, without knowledge of the ground. So it is only by God's grace that we did not meet disaster here.
Maj. Gen. J.E.B. Stuart: General Lee, there were reasons...
General Robert E. Lee: [Lee holds up his hand to silence Stuart] Perhaps you misunderstood my orders? Perhaps I did not make myself clear. Well, sir... this must be made *very* clear. You, sir, with your cavalry, are the eyes of this army. Without your cavalry, we are made blind. That has already happened once. It must never, *never* happen again.
Maj. Gen. J.E.B. Stuart: [Stuart stares at the floor, then slowly draws his sword in token of his resignation] Sir... since I no longer hold the General's...
General Robert E. Lee: [suddenly furious, Lee pounds the table with his fist] I have *told* you, there is no time for that! There is no time!
[he pauses, takes a deep breath, and calms down again]
General Robert E. Lee: There is another fight comin' tomorrow, and we need you. We need every man, God knows. You must take what I have told you, and learn from it, as a man does.
[he takes Stuart's sword and replaces it in its scabbard]
General Robert E. Lee: There has been a mistake. It will not happen again; I know your quality. You are one of the finest cavalry officers I have ever known, and your service to this army has been invaluable. Now... let us speak no more of this.
[he turns and slowly walks away, then turns back to Stuart]
General Robert E. Lee: The matter is concluded. Good night, General.
[not knowing what to think of this show of mercy, Stuart snaps a crisp salute, and Lee returns it]More [12/12/2007 12:12:00]
Mammy: Oh now miss Scarlett you come on and eat juss a little honey!
Scarlett: No! I'm going to have a good time today... And do my eating at the barbeque
Mammy: If you dont care what folks says about dis family I does! I is told ya and told ya that you can always tell a lady by the way she eats in front of folks like a bird and I ain't aimin' for you to go to Mr. John Wilkes and eat like a field hand and gobble like a hog!
Scarlett: Fiddle-dee-dee! Ashley told me he likes to see a girl with a healthy appetite!
Mammy: What gentlemen says and what they thinks is 2 diffrent things, and I ain't noticed Mr. Ashley askin' for to marry you
Scarlett: [Turns around slowly to face Mammy then throws her umbrella and stuffs food into her mouth]
Mammy: Now don't eat too fast. Ain't no need for it come right back up again!
Scarlett: [With her mouth full] Why does a girl have to be so silly to catch a husband?More [12/28/2007 12:12:00]
Chuckie: You're suspect! Yeah, you! I don't know what your reputation is in this town but after the shit you tried to pull today you can bet I'll be looking into you. Now the business we have, heretofore, you can speak with my aforementioned attorney. Good day gentlemen and until that day comes, keep your ear to the grindstone.More [01/01/2008 12:01:00]
We will that all men know we blame not all the lords, nor all those that are about the king's person, nor all gentlemen nor yeomen, nor all men of law, nor all bishops, nor all priests, but all such as may be found guilty by just and true inquiry and by the law.More [01/06/2008 12:01:00]
Brother Thadeus: [Dunn, Rooney, Caesar, Williams and Corbet are in Brother Thadeus' office after the melee in the auditorium] Can you gentlemen give me one good reason why you shouldn't be expelled?
Michael Dunn: It's my fault, brother. I'm the one who should be expelled.
Brother Thadeus: You all acted as one, Mr. Dunn. And as one, you shall bear the consequences.
Michael Dunn: Yes, brother, but I started it.
Brother Thadeus: Did you? As I understand it, Brother Constance started it.
Brother Constance: [in disbelief] What?
Brother Thadeus: I'm suspending you for two weeks. Good day, gentlemen.
Brother Constance: [boys leave... Brother Dominic comes in and hands Thadeus a sheet of paper, which he signs... Constance is angry] What do you mean I started it? They've assaulted the faculty, the've disgraced this institution, and they destroyed a statue of St. Basil.
Brother Thadeus: I always hated that statue.
[signs paper and hands it to Constance]
Brother Constance: What's this?
Brother Thadeus: Well, you're transferred out of this institution. I don't want you working with children anymore.
Brother Constance: [angry] You can't do this! I will demand an investigation. I will take this all the way to the bishop if I have to.
Brother Thadeus: Take it whereever you want, brother...
[opens door]
Brother Thadeus: just take it out of my office!
[Constance glares at Timothy and then storms out the door]
Brother Thadeus: It appears we have a vacancy, brother. Think you can fit in?
Brother Timothy: [smiles] I think so, brother.More [03/03/2008 12:03:00]
[Addressing the troops]
King Henry V: And Crispin Crispian shall ne'er go by from this day until the ending of the world but we in it shall be remembered. We few, we happy few, we band of brothers, For he today who sheds his blood with me shall be my brother, Be he ne'er so vile, this day shall gentle his condition, and gentlemen in England now abed shall think themselves acursed they were not here, and hold their manhoods cheap whilst any speaks, that fought with us upon St. Crispin's day!More [03/08/2008 12:03:00]
Buzz McCallister: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury... I'd like to apologize to my family for whatever displeasure I may have caused you...
Kevin McCallister: What?
Buzz McCallister: My prank was immature and ill-timed.
Uncle Frank McCallister: Immature or not, it was pretty gol-darn hilarious.
[Laughs; everyone else glares]
Buzz McCallister: I'd also like to apologize to my brother. Kevin, I'm sorry.More [03/22/2008 12:03:00]
Captain Hook: [over the airplane intercom] Hello Ladies and Gentlemen this is your Captain speaking...More [03/26/2008 12:03:00]
Professor Wagstaff: And I say to you gentlemen that this college is a failure. The trouble is we're neglecting football for education.
Professor in Wagstaff's Study, Professor in Wagstaff's Study: Exactly. The professor is right.
Professor Wagstaff: Oh, I'm right, am I? Well, I'm not right, I'm wrong. I just said that to test you. Now I know where I'm at- I'm dealing with a couple of snakes. What I meant to say was that there's too much football and not enough education.
Professor in Wagstaff's Study, Professor in Wagstaff's Study: That's what I think.
Professor Wagstaff: Oh, you do, do you? Well, you're wrong again! If there was a snake here, I'd apologize.More [03/28/2008 12:03:00]
Matthew Harrison Brady: I have been to their cities and I have seen the altars upon which they sacrifice the futures of their children to the gods of science. And what are their rewards? Confusion and self-destruction. New ways to kill each other in wars. I tell you gentlemen the way of science is the way of darkness.More [04/15/2008 12:04:00]
Thorne: Ladies and gentlemen of the court, look upon the face of evil.More [06/28/2008 12:06:00]
Ariel: But without my voice, how can I...
Ursula: You'll have your looks... your pretty face... and don't underestimate the importance of "bo-dy lan-guage." Ha!
[singing]
Ursula: The men up there don't like a lot of blabber / They think a girl who gossips is a bore / Yes, on land it's much prefered / for ladies not to say a word / After all, dear, what is idle prattle for? / Come on, they're not all that impressed with conversation / True gentlemen avoid it when they can / But they dote and swoon and fawn / On a lady who's withdrawn / It's she who holds her tongue who gets her man.More [07/29/2008 12:07:00]
Younger Amy March: One periwinkle sash...
[clears throat]
Younger Amy March: Advertisements. One periwinkle sash belonging to Mr. N. Winkle has been abscondated from the wash line... which gentlemen desires any reports leading to its recovery.More [08/02/2008 12:08:00]
Dr. Ziska:
Rigo, a patient - I keep him in a trance. Sometimes he gets out - does terrible things.



Dr. Ziska:
A strange case - but I deal in strange cases!



Dr. Ziska:
I have only one guest chamber - but no doubt we can make the gentlemen comfortable.



Dr. Ziska:
Caliban - see that the guests have the USUAL attention!



Dr. Ziska:
My servant - don't allow him to frighten you - the poor creature is dumb!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Emcee:
Ladies and gentlemen -- in fact, all of you. Feeling that you are weary of domestic triangles, we have gone to Europe for our next scene. The locale is Turkey, southern Turkey. You see, Turkey is divided into three zones, namely, the white meat, the dark meat, and the part I always get.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Poole:
You should go out, sir. London offers many amusements for a gentlemen like you, sir.



Dr. Jekyll:
Yes, but gentlemen like me daren't take advantage of them, Poole. Gentlemen like me have to be very careful of what we do or say.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Jerry Day:
Toni, I know what's eating you. You think I haven't got any business with that kid. Well, you're wrong, dead wrong. You haven't got a thing to worry about, you wait and see.



Toni Carstairs Day:
I see, and what's in the past is all in the past. No more beating debts or dodging gentlemen in uniforms or chasing trains. No more hurried departures from unpleasant business. Your only concern is for your daughter's future, and you want above everything to make her happy.



Jerry Day:
Absolutely, dear.



Toni Carstairs Day:
So you sold Uncle Felix the phony goldmine to get the money for the good time. Stop lying, Jerry.



Jerry Day:
Lying?



Toni Carstairs Day:
Yes, stop lying. It doesn't become you. I know exactly what you were thinking - fun, excitement, thrills. You wouldn't know a responsibility if you fell over one in the street.



Jerry Day:
Well, supposing it was like that, what difference does it make?



Toni Carstairs Day:
You've got to mean it. You're her father, and she's yours, so you've got to quit selling goldmines. You can't take a child out of a good home and throw her into a life like this.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Coroner Wilbur Strong:
His end of telephone conversation in a restaurant: "Yes, this is the coroner... I will? Over my dead bodies... Well, I can't help you looked all afternoon, I'm at an important meeting of the International Committee for the Elimination of Starvation... All right, but I want you gentlemen to remember one statement, made in my official capacity: 'I'll be seein' ya.'"

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Dimples:
What's the matter?



Prof. Eustace Appleby:
Everything's all right, dear. I just want to have a talk with these gentlemen here for a few minutes.



Policeman:
Never mind that! He's under arrest for stealing a thousand dollars.



Prof. Eustace Appleby:
But I didn't take the money for myself. I took it to pay Allen back. Really.



Policeman:
Oh, come on!



Dimples:
You leave him alone! He didn't steal anything from you!



Mrs. Caroline Drew:
I'm sorry, darling, but you're better off without him.



Allen Drew:
You'd better hurry, Dimples. It's almost time for the last act.



Dimples:
No! I'm going to jail with the Professor!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Sherry Martin:
It isn't really that gentlemen prefer blondes. It's just that we look dumber.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Florenz Ziegfeld Jr.:
[after he has hired Jack Billings' valet away from him] Gentlemen never argue about gentlemen's gentlemen.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Theodora Lynn:
[as Caroline Adams] I have this to say to the modern young girls, gentlemen - Be free, express yourselves! Take your life in your own hands and mold it. The world will try to rob you of your freedom, but fight for it! It's all you have to live for! That's all for the modern girl.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Announcer:
Ladies and gentlemen and children of all ages, we're going to present for your approval a novelty picture with an all midget cast, the first of it's kind to ever be produced. I'm told that it has everything, that is everything that a western should have.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[the filibuster begins]



President of Senate:
The Chair recognizes... Senator Smith!



Jefferson Smith:
Thank you, sir.



Clarissa Saunders:
Diz, here we go.



Jefferson Smith:
Well, I guess the gentlemen are in a pretty tall hurry to get me out of here. The way the evidence has piled up against me, I can't say I blame them much. And I'm quite willing to go, sir, when they vote it that way - but before that happens I've got a few things I want to say to this body. I tried to say them once before, and I got stopped colder than a mackerel. Well, I'd like to get them said this time, sir. And as a matter of fact, I'm not going to leave this body until I do get them said.



Senator Joseph Paine:
Mr. President, will the Senator yield?



President of Senate:
Will the Senator yield?



Jefferson Smith:
No, sir, I'm afraid not, no sir. I yielded the floor once before, if you can remember, and I was practically never heard of again. No sir. And we might as well all get together on this yielding business right off the bat, now.


[laughter from the gallery]



Jefferson Smith:
Now, I had some pretty good coaching last night, and I find that if I yield only for a question or a point of order or a personal privilege, that I can hold this floor almost until doomsday. In other words, I've got a piece to speak, and blow hot or cold, I'm going to speak it.



Senator Joseph Paine:
Will the Senator yield?



President of Senate:
Will Senator Smith yield?



Jefferson Smith:
Yield how, sir?



Senator Joseph Paine:
Will he yield for a question?



Jefferson Smith:
For a question, all right.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[after all the other Senators walk out]



Jefferson Smith:
Oh, Mr. President, we seem to be alone. I, I'm not complaining for a social reason; it's just, I think it'd be a pity if these gentlemen missed any of this, and...


[Clarissa starts waving from the visitors gallery, and making hand signals]



Jefferson Smith:
And, uh...


[he grabs the rule book]



Jefferson Smith:
I, I call the chair's attention to... to, uh... Rule 5 of the Standing Rules of the Senate, Section... Section 3. "If it shall be found that a quorum is not present, a majority of the Senators present" - and that looks like me - uh, uh, "may direct the Sergeant-at-Arms to request, and if necessary compel, the attendance of the absent Senators." Well, Mr. President, I so direct.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Larry Armstrong:
Maybe you gentlemen would like to meet an old friend of mine - Bill Hickok.



Mac Fawcett:
Hickok? Not Wild Bill Hickok?



Wild Bill Hickok:
Well, folks have to got to call me "Wild", but between us, I'm a mighty peaceable man.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Daniel Webster:
Gentlemen of the jury, tonight it is my privilege to address a group of men I've long been acquainted with in song and story, but men I had never hoped to see. My worthy opponent, Mister Scratch, called you Americans all. Mister Scratch is right. You were Americans all. Oh, what a heritage you were born to share. Gentlemen of the jury, I envy you, for you were present at the birth of a mighty union. It was given to you to hear those first cries of pain and behold the shining babe, born of blood and tears. You are called upon tonight to judge a man named Jabez Stone. What is his case? He's accused of breach of contract. He made a deal to find a shortcut in his life, to get rich quickly, the same kind of a deal all of you once made. You, Benedict Arnold. I speak to you first because you are better known than the rest of your colleagues here. What a different song yours could have been. A friend of Washington and Lafayette, a soldier. General Arnold, you fought so gallantly for the American cause till - let me see, what was the date? - seventeen seventy-nine. That date, burned in your heart. The lure of gold made you betray that cause. And you, Simon Girty, now known to all as "Renegade" - a loathesome word - you also took that other way. And you, Walter Butler, what would you give for another chance to see the grasses grow in Cherry Valley without the stain of blood? I could go on and on and name you all but there's no need of that. Why stir the wounds? I know they pain enough. You were fooled like Jabez Stone, fooled and trapped in your desire to rebel against your fate. Gentlemen of the jury, it is the eternal right of every man to raise his fist against his fate. But when he does, these are crossroads. You took the wrong turn. So did Jabez Stone. But he found it out in time. He's here tonight to save his soul. Gentlemen of the jury, I ask you to give Jabez Stone another chance to walk upon this earth, among the trees, the growing corn, and the smell of grasses in the Spring. What would you all give for another chance to see those things you must all remember and often yearn to touch again? For you were all men once. Clean American air was in your lungs and you breathed it deeply. For it was free and blew across an earth you loved. These are common things I speak of, small things, but they are good things. Yet without your soul, they mean nothing. Without your soul, they sicken. Mister Scratch once told you that your soul meant nothing. And you believed him. And you lost your freedom. Freedom isn't just a big word. It is the morning and the bread and the risen sun. It was for freedom we came to these shores in boats and ships. It was a long journey and a hard one and a bitter one. Yes, there is sadness in being a man... but it is a proud thing, too. And out of the suffering and the starvation and the wrong and the right, a new thing has come: a free man. And when the whips of the oppressors are broken and their names forgotten and destroyed, free men will be talking and walking under a free star. Yes, we have planted freedom in this earth like wheat. And we have said to the skies above us, "A man shall own his own soul...” Now, here is this man. He is your brother. You were Americans all.


[points to the Devil]



Daniel Webster:
You can't be on his side, the side of the oppressor. Let Jabez Stone keep his soul, a soul which doesn't belong to him alone but to his family, his son, and his country. Gentlemen of the jury, don't let this country go to the devil. Free Jabez Stone. God bless the United States and the men who made her free.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Larry:
Say, what do we know about society?



Moe:
Well startin' tomorrow we're gonna learn. We gotta act like gentlemen so these dames we married won't have any excuse for throwing us out.



Curly:
You mean to say I can't go to sleep with my shoes on?



Moe:
That's exactly what I mean now get to bed, like a gentleman.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Judge Geary:
We'll take in a few clean-cut boys from good families, and if we can't make you fighters into gentlemen, we'll try to make some gentlemen into fighters.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Schoolteacher:
[watching a Nazi bookburning] I'm writing a novel myself. I'd be very disappointed if you gentlemen don't burn it.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Martha Brewster:
One of our gentlemen found time to say 'How delicious!' before he died.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Nancy Oliver:
Gonna work on your tunes again tonight, sir? You're always working, aren't you?



Gregory Anton:
Yes. What are you doing with your evening out?



Nancy Oliver:
Oh, I'm going to a music hall...


[starts to sing 'Up in a balloon']



Gregory Anton:
I've never been to an English music hall.



Nancy Oliver:
Oh, you don't know what you've missed, sir...



Gregory Anton:
And whom are you going to the music hall with?



Nancy Oliver:
A gentleman friend, sir.



Gregory Anton:
Oh, now you know, Nancy, don't you, that gentlemen friends are sometimes inclined to take liberties with young ladies.



Nancy Oliver:
Oh no, sir, not with me. I can take care of myself - when I want to.



Gregory Anton:
You know, Nancy, it strikes me that you're not at all the kind of girl that your mistress should have for a housemaid.



Nancy Oliver:
[flirtatiously] No, sir? She's not the only one in the house - is she?

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Prof. Quackenbush:
How would you like to earn $1000 dollars?



Moe:
Who do we have to murder?



Prof. Quackenbush:
It's nothing like that. All you need to do is let me make gentlemen out of you.



Curly:
Oh please no! There hasn't been a gentleman in our family for 50 generations!



Moe:
Quit bragging.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
The Prosecutor:
Never, never in the history of jurisprudence have such terrifying deeds been brought to light. Gentlemen of the jury, you have before you a cruel and cynical monster. Look at him!


[all heads turn to face Verdoux, who turns around himself to look behind.]



The Prosecutor:
Observe him, gentlemen. This man, who has brains, if he had decent instincts, could have made an honest living. And yet, he preferred to rob and murder unsuspecting women. In fact, he made a business of it. I do not ask for vengeance, but for the protection of society. For this mass killer, I demand the extreme penalty: that he be put to death on the guillotine. The State rests its case.



Judge:
Monsieur Verdoux, you have been found guilty. Have you anything to say before sentence is passed upon you?



Henri Verdoux:
Oui, monsieur, I have. However remiss the prosecutor has been in complimenting me, he at least admits that I have brains. Thank you, Monsieur, I have. And for thirty-five years I used them honestly. After that, nobody wanted them. So I was forced to go into business for myself. As for being a mass killer, does not the world encourage it? Is it not building weapons of destruction for the sole purpose of mass killing? Has it not blown unsuspecting women and little children to pieces? And done it very scientifically? As a mass killer, I am an amateur by comparison. However, I do not wish to lose my temper, because very shortly, I shall lose my head. Nevertheless, upon leaving this spark of earthly existence, I have this to say: I shall see you all...very soon...very soon.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[Beaufort is addressing a group of new recruits]



Sgt. Johnny Beaufort:
Gentlemen, this is a horse. You will observe it has no saddle. The reason it has no saddle is because it'll be easier for you to stay on without the saddle. Now, before we progress... did any of you gentlemen have the honor of serving with the Southern arms during the late War Between The States?



Recruit:
Yes, sir. I had the pride, sir, of serving with Bedford Forrest.



Sgt. Johnny Beaufort:
I am proud to shake your hand.



Recruit:
Thank you, sir.



Sgt. Johnny Beaufort:
I hope you have the pleasure of buying me a drink on your next payday.



Recruit:
An honor, sir.



Sgt. Johnny Beaufort:
You are now an acting corporal.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Stefan Brand:
Honor is a luxury only gentlemen can afford.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Prosecutor:
How did he get the motorcar?



Cyril Proudbottom:
The only way a gentlemen gets anything. The *honest* way.



Prosecutor:
And what is the *honest* way?



Cyril Proudbottom:
Haha, I thought you wouldn't know that one, guv'nor.


[Everyone laughs]

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Prosecutor:
How did he get the motorcar?



Cyril Proudbottom:
The only way a gentlemen gets anything. The *honest* way.



Prosecutor:
And what is the *honest* way?



Cyril Proudbottom:
Haha, I thought you wouldn't know that, guv'nor.


[Everyone laughs]

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]

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