idiots

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idiots

We know that the nature of genius is to provide idiots with ideas twenty years later.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
To generalize is to be an idiot. To particularize is the alone distinction of merit. General knowledge are those knowledge that idiots possess.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
Passion makes idiots of the cleverest men, and makes the biggest idiots clever.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
Memory is not wisdom; idiots can by rote repeat volumes. Yet what is wisdom without memory?More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
I get bitter, angry and disbelieving and I tell my kids there a lot of idiots out there. I also want them to know that being successful is not the real world - that their parents get treated better because they're on TV.More [04/06/2006 12:04:00]
[Lorraine's parents are talking about Marty McFly, Lorraine's future son]
Stella Baines: He's a very strange young man.
Sam Baines: He's an idiot. Comes from upbringing. His parents are probably idiots too. Lorraine, if you ever have a kid that acts that way I'll disown you.More [02/26/2007 12:02:00]
[They are listening to a heavy metal song]
Franklin: Great tape. This yours?
Daniel: Oh yeah, I got everything by the Screaming Idiots.
Franklin: This is the Ramones, actually, I haven't heard the Idiots yet, maybe you can turn me on to them.More [07/09/2007 12:07:00]
["Sweet Home Alabama" plays in background]
Garland Greene: Define irony: a bunch of idiots dancing around on a plane to a song made famous by a band that died in a plane crash.More [07/12/2007 12:07:00]
Maj. Walter H. Taylor: General Trimble is waiting. Will you see him now?
General Robert E. Lee: Very well.
[he looks at Marshall]
General Robert E. Lee: Major, I want a scouting party sent out posthaste to find General Stuart.
Maj. Charles Marshall: Yes, sir.
General Robert E. Lee: Thank you.
Maj. Charles Marshall: Right away, sir.
General Robert E. Lee: [Trimble enters the room] General Trimble.
Maj. Gen. Isaac R. Trimble: [Trimble salutes, and Lee returns it] Sir, I most respectfully request another assignment.
General Robert E. Lee: [Lee looks at Trimble, then sits down] Do please go on, General.
Maj. Gen. Isaac R. Trimble: The man is a disgrace! Sir, have you been listening at all to... to what the aides have been telling you? Ask General Gordon or General Ewell. Ask them. We could've taken that hill! God in His wisdom knows we *should've* taken it! There was no one there, no there at all, and it commanded the town.
[he sighs]
Maj. Gen. Isaac R. Trimble: General Gordon saw it. I mean, he was with us! Me and Ewell and Gordon, all standing there in the dark like fat, great idiots with that bloody damned hill empty!
[he stops]
Maj. Gen. Isaac R. Trimble: I beg your pardon, General.
[Lee nods]
Maj. Gen. Isaac R. Trimble: That bloody damned hill was bare as his bloody damned head! We all saw it, as God is my witness! We were all there. I said to him, "General Ewell, we have *got* to take that hill." General Jackson would not have stopped like this, with the bluebellies on the run and there was plenty of light left on a hill like that empty! Well, God help us, I... I don't know wh... I don't know why I...
[he stops]
General Robert E. Lee: Do please continue, General.
Maj. Gen. Isaac R. Trimble: Yes, sir. Sir... I said to him, General Ewell, these words. I said to him, "Sir, give me one division and I will take that hill." And he said nothing. He just stood there, he stared at me. I said, "General Ewell, give me one brigade and I will take that hill." I was becoming disturbed, sir. And General Ewell put his arms behind him and blinked. So I said, General, give me one *regiment* and I will take that hill." And he said *nothing*! He just stood there! I threw down my sword, down on the ground in front of him!
[he stops and regains his composure]
Maj. Gen. Isaac R. Trimble: We... we could've done it, sir. A blind man should've seen it. Now they're working up there. You can hear the axes of the Federal troops. And so in the morning... many a good boy will die... taking that hill.More [12/12/2007 12:12:00]
Mr. Grocer: Ya sure Oregon doesn't ring a bell? The Pacific Northwest, couple of months ago? Something about you doin' some wonderdog named Cujo...
Martin Q. Blank: Ah, *Budro*, yes, Budro, Jesus Christ! Yeah, I was out there tryin' to whack these junk bond fuckos and these idiots were flushing game with sticks of dynamite! And the dog that they borrowed, little Budro, was a retriever, get it? Budro was never a target, Budro was acting on instinct. I would never hurt an animal and I'm offended at the accusation...
Mr. Grocer: Whoa, whoa, whoa, Chatty Cathy! Clip yer string, I don't need to know! But, just for the record, here's what I heard: the marks borrowed your client's prize hunting pup. So, bad luck for Budro and bad luck for Blank. Poodle pumper. Hound hitter. Pooch puncher!More [01/16/2008 12:01:00]
Harold: So what are you in here for?
Tarik: For being black.
Harold: Seriously.
Tarik: I am serious. You wanna know what happened. I was walking out of a Barnes & Noble, and a cop stops me. Evidently, a black guy robbed a storein Newark. I told him, "I haven't even been to Newark in months." So he starts beating me with his gun, telling me to stop resisting arrest.
Harold: Holy shit! What'd you do?
Tarik: I kept saying, "I understand I'm under arrest. Now please stop beating me."
Harold: I don't understand how you can be so calm about all this.
Tarik: Look at me. I'm fat, black, can't dance, and I have two gay fathers. People have been messing with me my whole life. I learned a long time ago there's no sense getting all riled up every time a bunch of idiots give you a hard time. In the end, the universe tends to unfold as it should. Plus I have a really large penis. That keeps me happy.More [02/06/2008 12:02:00]
Kate McCallister: What kind of idiots do you have working here?
Mrs. Stone, Desk Clerk: The finest in New York.More [03/22/2008 12:03:00]
Kate McCallister: What kind of idiots are running this place?
Mrs. Stone, Desk Clerk: The finest in New York!More [03/22/2008 12:03:00]
Frank Horrigan: You know, for years now I've listened to all these idiots on barstools, with their pet theories on Dallas. How it was the Cubans, or the CIA, or the white supremacists, or the Mob. About whether there was one weapon, or whether there was five. None of that's meant much to me. But Leary... he questioned whether I had the guts to take that fatal bullet.More [04/13/2008 12:04:00]
Otto Meyer: I wish I knew what they were going to do to us. But no matter what happens to us, what happens to *you* I hope will be *worse*!
Capt. T.G. Culpeper: I don't think you have to worry too much about that. My wife is divorcing me, my daughter is applying to the courts to have her name changed, my mother in-law is suing me for damages, my pension has been revoked. And the only reason *you* 10 idiots will very LIKELY get off LIGHTLY, is because the *judge* will have *me* up there to *throw the book at*!
Third Cab Driver: [sarcastically] Oh, that's tough. Oh ho ho ho.
Capt. T.G. Culpeper: I'd like to think that sometime, maybe 10 or 20 years from now, there could be something *I* could laugh at... Anything.More [04/25/2008 12:04:00]
Etienne Navarre: [upon seeing Phillipe's scratch marks] What is that?
Imperius: That happened last night when he saved he your life.
Etienne Navarre: Forgive me.
[pulls Pierre to his feet and hugs him]
Etienne Navarre: I'll show you idiots how to cage a wolf.More [06/24/2008 12:06:00]
Etienne Navarre: [upon seeing Phillipe's scratch marks] What is that?
Imperius: He got those... after he saved he your life.
Etienne Navarre: Forgive me.
[pulls Pierre to his feet and hugs him]
Etienne Navarre: I'll show you idiots how to cage a wolf.More [06/24/2008 12:06:00]
Coco:
But idiots are hard to find, I should think.



Baron Philippe de La Tour-La Tour:
Oh no, not in the scientific world.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Tuco:
God is on our side because he hates the Yanks.



Man With No Name:
God is not on our side because he hates idiots also.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Colleen North:
Larry says he'll never speak to me again unless I grow up. He says that I'm being ridiculous and I don't love him, but I do love him. Am I being ridiculous?



Frank Beardsley:
You're not being ridiculous.



Colleen North:
Well, do all the other girls, like Larry says? And am I just being old-fashioned?



Frank Beardsley:
The same idiots were passing the same rumors when I was your age, but if all the girls did, how come I always ended up with the ones who didn't?



Colleen North:
But it's all different now!



Frank Beardsley:
I don't know, they wrote Fanny Hill in 1742 and they haven't found anything new since.



Veronica Beardsley:
Who's Fanny Hill?



Frank Beardsley:
Go to bed, that's who Fanny Hill is.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Prison Chaplain:
What's it going to be, eh? Is it going to be in and out of institutions like this? Well, more in and out for most of ya! Or are you going to attend to the Divine Word and realise the punishments that await unrepentant sinners in the next world as well as this? A lot of idiots you are, selling your own birthright for a saucer of cold porridge! The thrill of theft! Of violence! The urge to live easy! Well, I ask you what is it worth when we have undeniable truth - yes! Incontrovertible evidence that Hell exists! I know! I know my friends! I have been informed in visions that there is a place darker than any prison, hotter than any flame of human fire, where souls of unrepentant criminal sinners like yourselves...!


[an inmate belches, prompting the rest to laugh]



Prison Chaplain:
Don't you laugh, damn you! Don't you laugh! I say like yourselves scream in endless and unendurable agony! Their skin rotting and peeling! A fireball spinning in their screaming guts! I know! Oh yes, I know!


[Another inmate makes a raspberry noise, prompting them to laugh again]

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[the Queen Mother is visiting the Tsar at his military base]



Queen Mother Maria Fedorova:
I came to congratulate you, Nicky.



Tsar Nicholas II:
What for?



Queen Mother Maria Fedorova:
For finding, out of all Russia's countless cretins, idiots and incompetents the men least qualified to run your government.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[Reggie is dictating a letter to the manager of one of the Grot stores]



Reginald Perrin:
I am sorry to hear you have not yet received your supply of edible furniture. This can only be due to the non-arrival of supplies. I am, however, deeply disturbed to hear that you have not yet received our new range of dentures for pets, which are proving so popular with bloody silly idiots who put little doggie dentures in glasses of water beside their kennels, and little budgie dentures in even smaller glasses of water beside their cages.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
George Smiley:
In my time, Peter Guillam, I've seen Whitehall skirts go up and come down again. I've listened to all the excellent argument for doing nothing, and reaped the consequent frightful harvest. I've watched people hop up and down and call it progress. I've seen good men go to the wall and the idiots get promoted with a dazzling regularity. All I'm left with is me and thirty-odd years of cold war without the option.



Peter Guillam:
So what does that mean in little words?



George Smiley:
It means that if a rogue elephant, to use Saul Enderby's happy phrase, charges at me out of the thicket of my past and gives me a second shot at it, I intend to shoot it dead - but with the minimum of force.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Jenner:
Hear me! The Thorn Valley Plan is the aspiration of idiots and dreamers! We...


[sees Justin]



Jenner:
We were just talking about you.



Justin:
That's refreshing, Jenner, usually you're screaming about us.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Rupert Pupkin:
I'm gonna work 50 times harder, and I'm gonna be 50 times more famous than you.



Jerry Langford:
Then you're gonna have idiots like you plaguing your life!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Dola:
[as she watches a fight between her sons and the townspeople] Leave it to my little idiots to start a riot...

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Bob:
You're kidding! What idiots think up something like that?



Nick:
I dunno Bob, I think there's a special department of idiots in the White House who do that.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Court-Martial Captain:
What we're going to tell you Commander, may come as a surprise, but it must be held in the utmost secrecy, and its importance will become obvious. I think you'll understand. All charges against your boys have been dropped.



Cdr. Camparelli:
Sir?



Court-Martial Captain:
They're gone, dropped, never happened.



Cdr. Camparelli:
What do you want me to do, Captain?



Court-Martial Captain:
Cover it up, sweep it under the rug. Take your men back to your carrier first thing in the morning, keep their mouths shut. Beyond that, you can do what you want to with them, but this affair's over.



Cdr. Camparelli:
May I ask the captain, why?



Court-Martial Captain:
Because the President of the United States, Richard M. Nixon is quite irritated at the opposition for leaving the peace table. He has just ordered Operation Linebacker ll; the unrestricted bombing of all military targets in North Vietnam. We'd look like real idiots court-martialing an A-crew for doing what the President of the United States just told us to do. If even a rumor got back to the press, you can understand the ramifications.



Cdr. Camparelli:
Yes. Yes, sir.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Tim:
Guy A challenges Guy B. Guy B accepts the challenge, Guy A is automatically challenged by Guy B not to back down from the challenge that A gave to Guy B.



Jill:
Okay, let me explain to you the workings of the female mind: Guy A and Guy B are both idiots and Randy is not racing.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Ambassador Londo Mollari:
Only an idiot would fight a war on two fronts. Only the heir to the throne of the Kingdom of Idiots would fight a war on twelve fronts.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[Watching Charles and Henry stealing Bernie]



Richard Parker:
What kind of idiots would steal a dead body?



Larry Wilson:
We did!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[the players are touching a post as they walk into the locker room]



Frank Gaits:
Why do you idiots do that after you've lost?



Ray Mitchell:
It's for good luck, man.



Danny Hemmerling:
After 15 straight losses, I say we find something else to rub.



Pablo Garcia:
How about Triscuitt's head?



Triscuitt Messmer:
Hey, don't even think about touching me anywhere.



Jose Martinez:
[stops reaching for it] Fatty pants.



Whitt Bass:
You know, maybe we should do this *before* we lose.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Million $ Sticky Host:
For those idiots out there who don't know how to play, here's how it goes. For each correct answer, they'll move one step closer to our Cube of Cash. Once in our Cube of Cash, any money that sticks to your gooey body, you get to take home!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
["Sweet Home Alabama" plays in background]



Garland Greene:
Define irony. Bunch of idiots dancing on a plane to a song made famous by a band that died in a plane crash.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Dogbert:
That's outrageous. Idiots shouldn't have money.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[Raphael knocks down Bebop and Rocksteady during a fight]



Raphael:
Ha! You idiots couldn't hit me with...


[we see Bebop and Rocksteady picking up]



Raphael:
...a big rubber tyre!


[Bebop and Rocksteady throw the tyre at Raphael and knock him down]



Raphael:
Ever get that rundown feeling?

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Elliot Springer:
I'm not doing this for Ray Tilman. I've had too many friends trying to please idiots like Ray Tilman. Even the one's who buy big houses. They still end up living in little tiny closets.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Bianca:
People expect me to be there!



Walter Stratford:
Kat's not going, you're not going!



Bianca:
Why can't you be normal?



Kat Stratford:
Define normal.



Bianca:
Bogey Lowenstein's party is normal.



Walter Stratford:
What's a Bogey Lowenstein?



Kat Stratford:
Bogey's party is just a lame excuse for all the idiots at our school to drink beer and rub up against each other in hopes of distracting themselves from the pathetic emptiness of their meaningless...



Bianca, Chastity:
...meaningless, consumer-driven lives.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Grace:
[on the phone] Yes. This is Grace Adler of Grace Adler Designs. I was in there yesterday. I told you I would be back today. And now you're telling me you're all out? Do you know how much business I've given you over the years? How much money I've spent? You idiots never make enough chili.


[Slams down the phone]

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Janet Hall:
Okay, well, here are your books. Uh, the Complete Idiots Guide to Surviving Divorce, The Divorce Workbook, and of course, How Come nobody loves me?

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Linda:
What do you have against the New York City Marathon?



Dr. John Becker:
The Marathon just gets my hopes up. At first it seems like 20,000 idiots are leaving the city, but then they just make a big loop and come right back.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Peter Griffin:
Man, this is a great show. They drag these idiots up on stage and then blindside 'em. Like this one guy, didn't know he was actually two midgets.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[Peter, Joe, Cleveland, and Quagmire are forming a band]



Brian Griffin:
You know, Peter, just because you guys entertained a bunch of drunken idiots at a karaoke bar doesn't mean you have what it takes to form a band.



Peter Griffin:
Oh, Brian, you're just ants at a picnic. We're going to be awesome!



Brian Griffin:
Wait, what am I? I'm ants at a picnic? Is that what you just said? I just - I'm ants at a picnic. All right, just making sure.


[leaves]

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Melissa Robbins:
Listen to me, junior, when I'm finished with you, you'll be the envy of all the idiots on your block.



Jason:
Wow. There are a lot of idiots on my block.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[an explosion occurs]



Maj. Winchester:
I thought we had a system here, they fire three rounds and they move on.



Father Mulcahy:
Wait a minute, what happened to that pattern they had of firing off three rounds and then going away?



Maj. Winchester:
Good question... again.



Maj. Margaret Houlihan:
Aren't those idiots afraid of being spotted?



Col. Potter:
I guess they figure the tank's worth the risk.



Maj. Margaret Houlihan:
Or maybe they brought in a second mortar squad.


[Another explosion occurs]



Maj. Winchester:
Or maybe a third.



Hawkeye:
Well, the "more-tar" merrier, ha ha ha!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Fyodor Dostoyevsky:
[firmly] Nothing is always true. A few things are always untrue.



Himself - Host:
Mr. Dostoyevsky, when you were younger you were led out into a public square in order to be shot as a revolutionary. In the last moment there was a reprieve and you were sentenced to four years in Siberia and eight further years in the army. Don't you sometimes resent those 12 wasted years of your life?



Fyodor Dostoyevsky:
[passionately] No! They gave me everything. My literature, my characters, my understanding, my compassion. Why should I resent a superficial injustice? So, I am grateful, even thankful to the fools, the idiots who sentenced me to be shot.



Himself - Host:
[conciliatory] Well, I must say... your speech at the Pushkin memorial was quite something. It was. But I think in light of his opinions about Pushkin, I don't think our friend Tolstoy would even have accepted the invitation to speak there.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Jerry Lawler:
Just look at the idiots that are in this ring right now. Chainsaw, Mosh, Cactus Jack. I feel like calling "Unsolved Mysteries" and saying "Hey, I found everybody."

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Harry Senate:
Well, of all the causes to take up, AIDS, cancer... hunger, poverty. I've always felt there was something special about people who commit themselves to guns. Anyone I suppose could contribute to a shelter or help the needy, but it takes a true American to dedicate himself to firearms. And you know what? We need people like you. Our country's getting a bad rep just because we kill each other. Well, that's manly... shooting people. United States, this is were men live. Australia, all their stupid bragging about how tough they are in the outback. They get about... 15 gun homicides a year. What the hell is that? We get ten thousand. The Japanese are even more pathetic. In 1999 for kids between 15 and 19 they didn't have one handgun murder, not one! We had over five thousand! Our teenagers are tough, but it can't happen unless we get the guns out there into their hands and for that we need committed, good people like all of you. Look at these idiots in Washington who think it's wrong for teenagers to have assault rifles. And the stupid Democrats think we should have ten day waiting periods. What happens if you need to kill somebody today? Next thing the government will try to crack down on incest and we won't be able to breed future NRA members. I mean, we are talking about the toothless illiterates that makes this country great. This is America. Get a gun!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Thor The Wrestler:
I've got three kids in there scared half to death because some bald headed *turd* is shootin' at 'em!



Larry:
No, sir, we were, we were... we were playing cowboys and indians...



Thor The Wrestler:
Hey, you heard of Columbine? It's idiots like you that cause this whole society to be going crazy with violence!



Larry:
No, I'm not a violent...



Thor The Wrestler:
Shut up! You know what's you're looking at? You are looking at 245 pounds of twisted steel and drop-your-bony-butt-to-the-curb appeal. I will *body slam* you so hard that you will poop your bald pants. Hear me? Don't you ever... ever... *ever* point another finger at my kids again, because if you do, I will break it off and shove it right up your sphincter.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Detective Charles:
I turned 40 last week. Do you know what I did? I got my colon scoped by Dr. Spencer. Do you know what he told me? He said "Detective Charles, you have one of the cleanest rectums I've ever seen." and do you know why? During my quiet time here at work I use a toothbrush that I have here in my desk to get to the really hard to find spots... just for a really good scrubbin'... you guys think you're so smart don't you?



Duff:
No



Detective Charles:
The way you made those survilence tapes just... disapear? You just... got rid of 'em some how...



John:
What tapes?



Detective Charles:
Will you do me a personal favor son?



John:
Sure.



Detective Charles:
Don't ever play ME... like a flute... OK? Because see, you two idiots got real lucky, I don't have enough to keep you here. But mark my words gentlemen... I mean... you're goin' down. I mean... you're either goin' down... or by God i'm gonna' take you down. But either way... once you're down?


[picks up a paper weight and slams it on his desk three times]



Detective Charles:
YOU'LL STAY DOWN! YOU'LL STAY DOWN! YOU... WILL... STAY DOWN!


[Throws paper weight]



Detective Charles:
Now get up and get out! Get up! get out! get up! get out! get up! get out! get up! get out! get up and go get up and go


[loud whistle]



Detective Charles:
Don't touch my door!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
J.D.:
Shut up, shut up, shut up and shut up, okay? Who are you people to give me advice about anything? All you do is bitch about your relationships all day long.


[to Dr. Cox]



J.D.:
And you know what glare all you want Big Dog, okay, because I'm not afraid of you. 'Oh no, Jordan's only paying attention to the baby. That must be so hard for Dr. Look-At-Me, isn't it? LOOK-AT-MEEEE.


[to Carla and Turk]



J.D.:
And you two, you're arguing ever since you got engaged, wow you're probably the first couple that's ever done that EVER. It can't be that you're just scared is it?


[to Elliot]



J.D.:
And you, you know what, let's just forget for one second that a month ago you told me you couldn't be in a relationship with anyone, because for me, it's actually fun to watch you sabotage a relationship from the outside, it really is. Honestly, the only thing that gives me comfort you guys is while I'm sitting at home staring at the ceiling just wishing that I had someone to talk to, is knowing that none of you idiots realize how lucky you are.


[JD storms out of the cafeteria, passing Nurse Roberts]



Nurse Roberts:
Did I miss something good?

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Ricky:
Knock knock.



Cory:
What?



Ricky:
Knock knock.



Cory:
Who's there?



Ricky:
Two fucking idiots who don't know when to come around and buy dope. Now, get the fuck out of here.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[opening narration for episodes: Safe, Ariel, War Stories, Heart of Gold]



Mal:
Here's how it is: The Earth got used up, so we moved out and terraformed a whole new galaxy of Earths. Some rich and flush with the new technologies, some not so much. The Central Planets, thems formed the Alliance, waged war to bring everyone under their rule; a few idiots tried to fight it, among them myself. I'm Malcolm Reynolds, captain of Serenity. She's a transport ship; Firefly class. Got a good crew: fighters, pilot, mechanic. We even picked up a preacher for some reason, and a bona fide companion. There's a doctor, too, took his genius sister outta some Alliance camp, so they're keepin' a low profile. You understand. You got a job, we can do it, don't much care what it is.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[opening narration for episodes: Out of Gas and Shindig]



Mal:
Here's how it is: Earth got used up, so we terraformed a whole new galaxy of Earths, some rich and flush with the new technologies, some, not so much. Central Planets, them as formed The Alliance, waged war to bring everyone under their rule. A few idiots tried to fight it, among them, myself. I'm Malcolm Reynolds, Captain of Serenity. Got a good crew: fighters, pilot, mechanic. We even picked up a preacher and a bona fide companion. There's a doctor, too. Took his genius sister outta some Alliance camp, so they're keeping a low profile. You got a job, we can do it, don't much care what it is.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[On the phone with Barry, after Sam's been shot]



Jack Malone:
Barry, what's going on in there?



Barry Mashburn:
Nothing. Everything's fine.



Jack Malone:
Well, I heard a gunshot.



Barry Mashburn:
It was an accident. Everyone's fine.



Jack Malone:
So nobody's been shot?



Barry Mashburn:
No, no, no.



Jack Malone:
Well, then, what happened?


[Barry doesn't answer]



Jack Malone:
Barry, what happened?



Barry Mashburn:
One of the idiots tried to jump me. My gun went off, but it, uh, it-it shot into the floor.



Jack Malone:
Okay, okay. Uh. Let me talk to somebody else in there.



Barry Mashburn:
What, you don't believe me?



Jack Malone:
Well, two minutes ago, you were talking about shooting people.



Barry Mashburn:
I-I never said that.



Jack Malone:
Yeah, that's what you told Samantha to tell me.



Barry Mashburn:
Well, she was just nervous. She-she-she wanted to get out of here.



Jack Malone:
Okay, well, let me talk to her.



Barry Mashburn:
No! No, you got to take my word for it. I don't want to talk right now.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[first lines]



The Great Uka Uka:
Imbeciles! FOOLS! NINCOMPOOPS! Can't you idiots do ANYTHING right? According to this, your track record for spreading evil is PATHETIC!



Dr. Neo Cortex:
Uka Uka, it's not our fault. That wretched bandicoot is to blame!


[a crash hologram appears]



Tiny the Tiger:
Grrr...


[he swipes at the hologram]



The Great Uka Uka:
I will not let anthing stand in the way of evil... ESPECIALLY not a brainless orange marsupial!Crash must be eliminated!



N. Gin:
Err... Uka Uka? Need I remind you that Crash always finds a way to defeat us? Maybe he's just too good for us.



The Great Uka Uka:
Enough excuses! You five idiots need to come up with one good plan... or else!



Dr. Neo Cortex:
How do I get into these situations?



Dr. Nefarious Tropy:
There must be something we can come up with.


[to Cortex]



Dr. Nefarious Tropy:
Say Doctor, haven't you been tinkering with some new secret weapon in your laboratory?



Dr. Neo Cortex:
I... don't know what you're talking about N Tropy.



N. Gin:
Dr Cortex! I think he's referring to the super secret weapon you've been labouring over day and night since the last time Crash defeated you.



The Great Uka Uka:
ENOUGH BICKERING! DO WE HAVE A PLAN?



Dr. Neo Cortex:
Well, in my scientific endeavours, I have been able to create a genetically advanced super weapon of unbelievable strength. But the power source is the final missing crucial element.



The Great Uka Uka:
Hmm... element... Element. Yes! The Elementals!



Dr. Neo Cortex:
Right, the Elementals, that's it! If we unlease their destructive force, it could create enough energy to bring my super creation to life. We'd then have a weapon capable of crushing mountains, destroying entire cities...



The Great Uka Uka:
And wiping Crash Bandicoot off the face of the Earth forever!



Dr. Neo Cortex:
Get ready to face my wrath, Crash Bandicoot!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
I cannot recognise either the Palestinian state or the Israeli state. The Palestinians are idiots and the Israelis are idiots.More [08/02/2009 12:08:00]
Our business is infested with idiots who try to impress by using pretentious jargon.More [07/09/2011 05:07:35]
It's frustrating, because you work with so many idiots - but they're nice idiots. So you can't be like, "You're an idiot." They know that they're idiots!'Yeah, I know. I hate them fuckers, man. I've not seen anyone from the record company since the album came out and I know why ... 'cos they're scared of me. They know I have no respect for them whatsoever. Look ... I know its a terrible thing for someone to come out and say they hate their own music. It's the worst thing you can do. My album isn't ***. If I heard someone else singing like me I would buy it in a heartbeat.More [08/03/2011 11:08:36]

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