wood

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wood

We are supposed to be the children of Seth; but Seth is too much of an effete nonentity to deserve ancestral regard. No, we are the sons of Cain, and with violence can be associated the attacks on sound, stone, wood and metal that produced civilization.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
It is surely a matter of common observation that a man who knows no one thing intimately has no views worth hearing on things in general. The farmer philosophizes in terms of crops, soils, markets, and implements, the mechanic generalizes his experiences of wood and iron, the seaman reaches similar conclusions by his own special road; and if the scholar keeps pace with these it must be by an equally virile productivity.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
A chip on the shoulder indicates that there is wood higher up.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
From such crooked wood as that which man is made of, nothing straight can be fashioned.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
The savage bows down to idols of wood and stone: the civilized man to idols of flesh and blood.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
Write without pay until somebody offers to pay you. If nobody offers within three years, sawing wood is what you were intended for.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
Remember, a chip on the shoulder is a sure sign of wood higher up.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
First D.J.: Rise and shine, campers, and don't forget your booties 'cause it's cooooold out there today.
Second D.J.: It's cold out there every day. What is this, Miami Beach?
First D.J.: Not hardly. So the big question on everybody's lips.
Second D.J.: On their chapped lips
First D.J.: their chapped lips is, does Phil feel lucky? Punksatawney Phil, thats right wood chuck chuckers its
[in unison]
First D.J.: GROUND HOG DAY
Second D.J.: GROUND HOG DAY More [07/22/2005 12:07:00]
Tyler Durden: Now, ancient people found their clothes got cleaner if they washed them at a certain spot in the river. You know why?
Narrator: No.
Tyler Durden: Human sacrifices were once made on the hills above this river. Bodies burnt, water speeded through the wood ashes to create lye.
[holds up a bottle]
Tyler Durden: This is lye - the crucial ingredient. The lye combined with the melted fat of the bodies, till a thick white soapy discharge crept into the river. May I see your hand, please?
[Tyler licks his lips until they're gleaming wet - he takes the Narrator's hand and kisses the back of it]
Narrator: What is this?
Tyler Durden: This...
[pours the lye on the Narrator's hand]
Tyler Durden: ... is chemical burn.More [09/07/2005 12:09:00]
Peter Marwood: Right, now we're going to have to approach this scientifically. First thing we've got to do is get this fire alight, then we split into two fact finding groups. I'll deal with the water and the plumbings, you check the fuel and wood situation.
[Later, Withnail re-enters the cottage holding a short stick]
Peter Marwood: What's that?
Withnail: The fuel and wood situation. There's nothing out there except a hurricane.More [11/18/2005 12:11:00]
Since wearing a slip and a bra in Ed Wood I have much more respect for women.More [05/19/2006 12:05:00]
“You can take organic materials — leather, steel, wood and fabrics — and mix them in the right way. It's fun to go from something simple to something classic to something seasonal. It shows people the different aspects of who you are.”More [07/17/2006 12:07:00]
Fred Weasley: Well done, Harry. Wood just told us.
Ron: Fred and George are on the team, too. Beaters.
George Weasley: Our job is to make sure you don't get bloodied up too bad. Can't make any promises, though. Rough game, Quidditch.
Fred Weasley: Brutal, but no one died in years. Someone will vanish occasionally, but they always turn up in a month or two!More [02/20/2007 12:02:00]
Tom: [while in front of the door] Quick, we can get that plank of wood to jam underneath the door.
[is hit in the balls by the plank of wood]
Tom: [in pain] Oh, my balls.
[George gives bowling balls to Tom and is hit in the balls again]
Tom: [in pain] Oh... Jesus.
[Jesus is being bought to him, but Tom pushes George away]More [02/22/2007 12:02:00]
Kevin: [On who inspired him to be a wood worker] I'd have to say Jesus. He was a carpenter and I figured if you're going to follow in somebody's footsteps, why not the steps of our lord and savior?
Jack Byrnes: [Before Greg has a chance to respond] Greg's Jewish.
Kevin: Really?
Greg Focker: Yeah.
[Jack smiles and nods]
Kevin: Well so was J.C...More [02/23/2007 12:02:00]
Denethor: No tomb for Denethor and Faramir. No long, slow sleep of death embalmed. We shall burn, like the heathen kings of old. Bring wood and oil.More [03/21/2007 12:03:00]
Pippin: I feel like I'm back at the Green Dragon.
Merry: [through a mouthful of food] Mm. Green Dragon.
Pippin: A mug of ale in my hand, putting my feet up on a settle after a hard day's work.
Merry: Only, you've never done a hard day's work.
[They laugh; Gandalf, Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli ride up. Merry stands and gives an exaggerated bow]
Merry: Welcome, my lords, to Isengard!
Gimli: You young rascals! A merry hunt you've led us on, and now we find you... feasting and... and *smoking.*
Pippin: We are sitting on a field of victory enjoying a few well-earned comforts.
[Merry blows a smoke ring]
Pippin: The salted pork is particularly good.
Gimli: [eagerly] Salted pork?
Gandalf: [exasperated] Hobbits.
Merry: We're under orders from Treebeard, who has taken over management of Isengard.
Treebeard: [as they walk toward the tower] Hroom, young master Gandalf! I'm relieved that you've come. Wood and water, stock and stone I can master, but there's a wizard to manage here. Locked his tower.
[Arwen is running into Rivendell and going up to her father]
Arwen: Tell me what you have seen.
Elrond: Arwen?
Arwen: You have the gift of foresight. What did you see?
Elrond: I looked into your future, and I saw death.
Arwen: But there is also life. You saw there was a child, you saw my son.
Elrond: That future is almost gone.
Arwen: But it is not lost.
Elrond: Nothing is certain.
Arwen: Some things are certain. If I leave him now, I will regret it forever.More [03/21/2007 12:03:00]
Father Flanagan: [while splashing holy water on the wood floor] The power of Christ compels you! The power of Christ compels you!
Elizabeth Masterson: [to David] You're mopping that up.More [04/19/2007 12:04:00]
[Bela Lugosi answers the door on Halloween night wearing his Dracula costume]
Children: Trick or treat!
[At the sight of Dracula, all but one little boy scream and run away]
Bela Lugosi: Aren't you scared, little boy? I'm going to drink your blood!
Little boy: You're not a real vampire. Those teeth don't frighten me.
[Bela looks puzzled. Ed Wood appears next to him in the doorway]
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: How 'bout these?
[Pulls out his entire row of front teeth]
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: [Little boy screams and runs away]
Bela Lugosi: Hey... How d'you do that?
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Dentures!
[Holds them up]
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Lost my pearlies in the war!More [06/13/2007 12:06:00]
Criswell: Can your heart stand the shocking facts of the true story of Edward D. Wood Jr.?More [06/13/2007 12:06:00]
Mr. Teavee: [has just seen chocolate transported by television] So, can you send other things? Say, like breakfast cereal?
Willy Wonka: Do you have any idea what breakfast cereal's made of? It's those little curly wood shavings you find in pencil sharpeners.
Charlie Bucket: But could you send it by television if you wanted to?
Willy Wonka: Course I could.
Mike Teavee: What about people?
Willy Wonka: Well, why would I want to send a person? They don't taste very good at all.More [07/11/2007 12:07:00]
John Keating: Now we all have a great need for acceptance, but you must trust that your beliefs are unique, your own, even though others may think them odd or unpopular, even though the herd may go,
[imitating a goat]
John Keating: "that's baaaaad." Robert Frost said, "Two roads diverged in the wood and I, I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference."More [08/22/2007 12:08:00]
Sarah McCaulley: So tell me, why'd that art gallery freak you out so much? You don't have to tell me. Here
[hands him the wood stick]
Rand: What's this? A talking stick? Oh, oh I see. So I can join the generation of emasulated males given permission to talk about their feelings? Sorry, it's a joke.More [09/23/2007 12:09:00]
Merlin: The days of our kind are numberèd. The one God comes to drive out the many gods. The spirits of wood and stream grow silent. It's the way of things. Yes... it's a time for men, and their ways.More [10/22/2007 12:10:00]
Marge Gunderson: So that was Mrs. Lundegaard on the floor in there. And I guess that was your accomplice in the wood chipper. And those three people in Brainerd. And for what? For a little bit of money. There's more to life than a little money, you know. Don't you know that? And here ya are, and it's a beautiful day. Well, I just don't understand it.More [10/30/2007 12:10:00]
[after steamrollering Otto]
Ken: "K-k-k-k-Ken." You bastard. Hey, I've lost my stutter. It's gone. I can speak. How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?More [11/11/2007 12:11:00]
Karate Guy in Porn Film: Oooh, excellent, grasshopper. And now, for the final task of your training.
Danielle: You're gonna need a harder piece of wood that that, cowboy.
Matthew: That's not her.
Eli: Yeah, it is.
Matthew: Oh, no.More [12/22/2007 12:12:00]
[gathering wood to shore up the tunnels, Hilts removes the wooden slats from bunk beds in the sleeping area of the prisoner barracks, holding a stack of them, and walks carefully out into the hallway]
Flight Lt. Denys Cavendish "The Surveyor": [passes Hilts in the hallway on his way to his bunk bed] Five gold rings. Four calling birds - bloody singing, I've never worked so hard in all my life. Hi, Hilts!
Hilts: [turns and tries to warn him] Say, Cavendish...
Flight Lt. Denys Cavendish "The Surveyor": Four calling birds, three French hens, two turtledoves, and a partridge in a pear - Alley-oop!
[Cavendish climbs to the top bunk, and vaults onto the unsupported mattress, which collapses under his weight through the bed frame, as well as the two beneath it. Hilts approaches the doorway and sees Cavendish on the floor]
Hilts: Never mind.
[Leaves]More [01/07/2008 12:01:00]
Virginia: What's this about you breaking a rake and throwing it in the woods?
Happy Gilmore: I didn't *break* it, I was merely testing its durability, and I *placed* it in the woods cause it's made of wood and I thought he should be with his family.More [02/03/2008 12:02:00]
Pai Mei: [punches through a block of wood from three inches away] Since your arm now belongs to me, I want it strong. Can you do that?
The Bride: I can, but not that close.
Pai Mei: Then you can't do it. What if your enemy is three inches in front of you, what do you do then? Curl into a ball? Or do you put your fist through him?More [05/29/2008 12:05:00]
Pai Mei: It's the wood that should fear your hand, not the other way around. No wonder you can't do it, you acquiesce to defeat before you even begin.More [05/29/2008 12:05:00]
Phillipe: There are strange forces at work in your life. Magical ones that surround you. I don't understand them, but they frighten me. You have given me my life. The truth is I can never repay you. I have no honor, and never will have. I don't think you would kill me for being what I am, but better that than to return to Aquila.
[he starts to walk away when Navarre throws his sword at the tree next to him]
Phillipe: [Phillipe turns back to see Navarre looking at him wickedly]
Phillipe: ...I'll gather some wood for the fire.More [06/24/2008 12:06:00]
Temple Drake:
Why do you keep the baby in the wood box?



Ruby Lemar:
So the rats don't get it.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Captain William Bligh:
During the recent heavy weather, I've had the opportunity to watch all of you at work on deck and aloft. You don't know wood from canvas! And it seems you don't want to learn! Well, I'll have to give you a lesson

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Sergeant Joyce Kilmer:
[reading his own poem at the site where many of the men had been buried alive] Perhaps their brave young spirits hear the bugle sing, go to sleep, go to sleep. Slumber well where the shell screamed and fell. Let your rifles rest on the muddy floor; you will not need them any more. Danger's past now at last, go to sleep. And up to Heaven's doorway floats from the wood called Rouge Bouquet, a delicate cloud of bugle notes that softly say, 'Farewell, farewell, comrades true. Born anew, peace to you. Your souls shall be where the heroes are, and your memory shine like the Morning Star. Brave and dear, shield us here. Farewell.'

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[Inside Monstro the whale, Geppetto and Pinocchio are discussing how to escape]



Geppetto:
Get out? Oh, no, no, son. I have tried every way. Why, I even built a raft.



Pinocchio:
[noticing the raft] A raft? That's it! We'll take the raft. And when the whale opens his mouth...



Geppetto:
No, no, no, no. Now, listen, son. He only opens his mouth when he's eating. Then everything comes in; nothing goes out.



Pinocchio:
Oh.



Geppetto:
Yes, it's hopeless, Pinocchio. Come, we'll make a nice fire and we cook some of the fish.



Pinocchio:
A fire? That's it!



Geppetto:
Yes, and then we'll all eat again.



Pinocchio:
A great big fire; lots of smoke!



Geppetto:
Smoke? Oh, yes, sure. Smoked fish will taste good.



Pinocchio:
Quick, some wood!


[Pinocchio grabs some pieces of wood and a wooden chair and places the wood in Geppetto's arms]



Geppetto:
Pinocchio, not the chair!



Pinocchio:
Hurry, Father, more wood!


[Pinocchio smashes the chair over a wooden barrel while Geppetto adds the wood pieces in his arms]



Geppetto:
But what'll we sit on?



Pinocchio:
We won't need it. We're getting out!


[Pinocchio grabs a lit lantern and smashes it over the pile of wood, causing a fire to start. Pinocchio then adds a blanket to create smoke. Pinocchio promptly starts blowing and fanning on the smoke to force it up. The smoke curls upward towards the top of Monstro]



Geppetto:
Getting out? But how?



Pinocchio:
We'll make him sneeze!



Geppetto:
Make him sneeze? Oh, that will make him mad!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[examining chewed wood found where the murderer waited for Walker]



Lullaby Joslin:
Fellows, I got it - all we got to do is find the termite who whittles his own toothpicks.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Macbeth:
I will not yield, to kiss the ground before young Malcolm's feet, and to be baited with the rabble's curse. Though Birnam wood be come to Dunsinane, and thou opposed, being of no woman born; yet I will try the last. Lay on Macduff, and damn'd be him that first cries, "Hold! Enough!"

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Narrator:
Dr. Wood was right when he said there was a drive in that girl.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Heihachi Hayashida:
I'm Heinachi Hayashida, a fencer of the Wood Cut School.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Sergeant Imoto:
Some years ago, my country chose to fight a terrible war. It was bad, I do not defend it, but there were reasons. Somehow those reasons are never spoken of. To the Western world at that time, Japan was a fairybook nation: little people living in a strange land of rice-paper houses... people who had almost no furniture, who sat on the floor and ate with chopsticks. The quaint houses of rice paper, sir: they were made of paper because there was no other material available. And the winters in Japan are as cold as they are in Boston. And the chopsticks: there was no metal for forks and knives and spoons, but slivers of wood could suffice. So it was with the little people of Japan, little as I am now, because for countless generations we have not been able to produce the food to make us bigger. Japan's yesterday will be the world's tomorrow: too many people and too little land. That is why I say, sir, there is urgent reason for us to reach Mars: to provide the resources the human race will need if they are to survive. That is also why I am most grateful to be found acceptable, sir. I volunteer.



General Samuel T. Merritt:
Thank you, Sergeant Imoto. You're not a little man.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Bill Randall (skipper of 1087:
[narrating] I know about ships. They're wood and metal and nothing else. They don't have souls. They don't have wills of their own. And they don't talk back.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[gathering wood to shore up the tunnels, Hilts removes the wooden slats from bunk beds in the sleeping area of the prisoner barracks, holding a stack of them, and walks carefully out into the hallway]



Flight Lt. Denys Cavendish "The Surveyor":
[passes Hilts in the hallway on his way to his bunk bed] Five gold rings. Four calling birds - bloody singing, I've never worked so hard in all my life. Hi, Hilts!



Hilts:
[turns and tries to warn him] Say, Cavendish...



Flight Lt. Denys Cavendish "The Surveyor":
Four calling birds, three French hens, two turtledoves, and a partridge in a pear - Alley-oop!


[Cavendish climbs to the top bunk, and vaults onto the unsupported mattress, which collapses under his weight through the bed frame, as well as the two beneath it. Hilts approaches the doorway and sees Cavendish on the floor]



Hilts:
Never mind.


[Leaves]

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Pa Stone:
There is something else. In the wood I found a dog. It was horribly mutilated. Whatever did that...

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Cheyenne:
What the hell is this?



Harmonica:
[off screen] Can't you see?


[emerges from behind a pile of wood]



Harmonica:
It's a station. And all around it a town. Brett McBain's town.



Cheyenne:
[starts to laugh] Was he crazy, heh!



Harmonica:
Yeah in a very special way. An Irishman.


[starts measuring out a square and hammers wood spikes into the ground]



Harmonica:
He knew someday or another that railroad through Flagstone would continue on west. So he looked over all this county here. Until he found this hunk of desert. Nobody wanted it! But he bought it.


[continues with work]



Harmonica:
Then he tightened his belt, and for years he waited.



Cheyenne:
Waited for what?



Harmonica:
For the railroad to reach this point.



Cheyenne:
Ah, but how in the hell did he know the railroad would pass through his property?



Harmonica:
Them steam engines can't roll without water. And the only water within fifty miles west of Flagstone is right here. Onto this land!



Cheyenne:
Ah ha, he was no fool, our dead friend, ah?


[chuckles]



Cheyenne:
He was gonna sell this piece of desert for his weight in gold, wasn't he?



Harmonica:
[looks at Cheyenne] You don't sell the dream of a lifetime! Brett McBain wanted his station: he got the rights to build it.



Cheyenne:
How do you know all this?



Harmonica:
I saw a document. It was all in order, seals, signatures, everything! One thing though, in very small print, there is a short clause. Which says that McBain or his heirs lose all rights, if by the time the railroad reaches this point...


[turns to Cheyenne again]



Harmonica:
... the station ain't built yet.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Barre:
[blessing the torture instruments with holy water] We humbly beg of thee almighty God, in thy goodness, bless these instuments thou has created and given to us for our sacred use...



Grandier:
Devils in pieces of wood now, Barre?



Barre:
[pouring holy water on Grandier's legs] If they are not driven out, your devils might, by their infernal arts, prevent the torture being as excruciating as it should be. Then you would never confess, and your soul would be damned for eternity. Are you ready to confess?



Grandier:
I have been a man. I have loved women. I have enjoyed power.



Barre:
That's not what we want. You've been a magician. You've had commerce with devils!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Martin:
If you've got a fireplace, burn some wood in it. It'll be a lot better than running loose on the streets.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Macbeth:
I will not yield, To kiss the ground before young Malcolm's feet, And to be baited with the rabble's curse. Though Birnam wood be come to Dunsinane, And thou oppos'd, being of no woman born, Yet I will try the last. Lay on, Macduff; And damn'd be him that first cries, "Hold, enough!"

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Sir Bedevere:
There are ways of telling whether she is a witch.



Peasant 1:
Are there? Oh well, tell us.



Sir Bedevere:
Tell me. What do you do with witches?



Peasant 1:
Burn them.



Sir Bedevere:
And what do you burn, apart from witches?



Peasant 1:
More witches.



Peasant 2:
Wood.



Sir Bedevere:
Good. Now, why do witches burn?



Peasant 3:
...because they're made of... wood?



Sir Bedevere:
Good. So how do you tell whether she is made of wood?



Peasant 1:
Build a bridge out of her.



Sir Bedevere:
But can you not also build bridges out of stone?



Peasant 1:
Oh yeah.



Sir Bedevere:
Does wood sink in water?



Peasant 1:
No, no, it floats!... It floats! Throw her into the pond!



Sir Bedevere:
No, no. What else floats in water?



Peasant 1:
Bread.



Peasant 2:
Apples.



Peasant 3:
Very small rocks.



Peasant 1:
Cider.



Peasant 2:
Gravy.



Peasant 3:
Cherries.



Peasant 1:
Mud.



Peasant 2:
Churches.



Peasant 3:
Lead! Lead!



King Arthur:
A Duck.



Sir Bedevere:
...Exactly. So, logically...



Peasant 1:
If she weighed the same as a duck... she's made of wood.



Sir Bedevere:
And therefore...



Peasant 2:
...A witch!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Luke Matthews:
How far is it to town?



The Wood Cutter:
Don't know. Never seem to have made it.



Luke Matthews:
Well, you don't know much.



The Wood Cutter:
Huh?



Luke Matthews:
I said you don't know much.



The Wood Cutter:
Mister, I don't know a damned thing about nothin'... but I ain't the one who's lost.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[Brannigan has used a revolver wrapped in a plastic bag to coerce Angell into revealing the whereabouts of Ben Larkin. Brannigan then puts the weapon on the table and telephones police headquarters]



Brannigan:
You must be getting old, Angell, trying to push second-rate paper like this.


[Brannigan reaches the desk sergeant and doesn't notice that Angell has taken the gun in the plastic bag]



Angell:
Turn around, big man!



Brannigan:
Angell, you're a real bush-leaguer.



Angell:
Oh yeah?


[Angell squeezes the gun's trigger, but it clicks empty]



Brannigan:
Oh, you know something, I don't think it's loaded.



Angell:
[flying into a rage] Why you dirty lousy mick! You got no rules! You got no...!


[Brannigan grabs a piece of wood and clobbers Angell, who falls unconscious onto the table. Brannigan ties him up while the desk sergeant on the phone yells for him]



Brannigan:
[to the phone] Nice to be wanted.



Angell:
[waking up] Listen Brannigan, you're dead! There's a contract out on you!


[Brannigan tosses the empty gun on the table next to Angell]



Brannigan:
Try explaining that to your parole officer.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Jack Tripper:
Why did she call me a rat?



Janet Wood Dawson:
Because you're a pig!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Jack Tripper:
Is something burning?



Janet Wood Dawson:
Oh NO! I left my underwear in the oven.



Chrissy:
Too bad hot pants are not in style.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Janet Wood Dawson:
Chrissy, your dad is a minister, what does he usually say to couples in trouble?



Chrissy:
He tells them to keep the baby.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Jack Tripper:
It's time to toast the bride and groom. To Gloria and Larry, happy days!



Janet Wood Dawson:
Good times!



Chrissy:
Little House on the Prairie!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Janet Wood Dawson:
Darlene is a $100 a night call girl!



Jack Tripper:
Janet, don't you see I'm talking to my *mother*!



Janet Wood Dawson:
But I thought she was Miss Einstein!



Jack Tripper:
So... she's a smart call girl!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Janet Wood Dawson:
Oh, no, no, no, no. Don't tell anybody you're a chef, okay?



Jack Tripper:
Okay, mum's the word.



Janet Wood Dawson:
Well, it's not that there's anything wrong with what you do, Jack. It's just that... everybody here looks so important and we want to make a good impression. Well, you understand, don't you?



Jack Tripper:
*Of course*, pumpkin.



Janet Wood Dawson:
Oh, thanks.



Jack Tripper:
You're ashamed of me!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Terri:
I just felt sorry for you!



Jack Tripper:
Sorry for me? Why would anybody feel sorry for me?



Janet Wood Dawson:
Oh, lots of reasons.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Captain:
A cocktail before you dine?



Janet Wood Dawson:
Oh, thank you!


[looks at menu and is stunned at the prices]



Janet Wood Dawson:
I believe I'll have some water.



Chrissy:
[eyes bugging out at the menu prices] Me, too.



Captain:
Of course. Would you care for the imported Rumanian, the Mountain Clear or the Gillian Sparkling?



Chrissy:
I'd like Santa Monica tap!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[Explaining his fascination with a plastic table]



H.G. Wells:
I've never seen wood like this before.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]

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