elevator

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elevator

Saul: I have a question, say we get into the cage, and through the security doors there and down the elevator we can't move, and past the guards with the guns, and into the vault we can't open...
Rusty: Without being seen by the cameras.
Danny: Oh yeah, sorry, I forgot to mention that.
Saul: Yeah well, say we do all that... uh... we're just supposed to walk out of there with $150,000,000 in cash on us, without getting stopped?
Danny: Yeah.
Saul: Oh, ok. More [07/07/2005 12:07:00]
Marlene: Evening madam. Just poppin' in to turn down your bed.
Miss Eva Ernst: [to Miss Irvine] How is the room service here?
Miss Irvine: Diabolical.
Miss Eva Ernst: Good.
Miss Irvine: How do you know that woman upstairs?
Miss Eva Ernst: Come along. Walk downstairs. The elevator is out of order.More [11/20/2005 12:11:00]
The Tracker: Elevator to Hell. Going up.More [01/01/2006 12:01:00]
It's ridiculous that a public courthouse has elevator problems like this. We have enough other problems to deal with here. But broken elevators are not a once-in-a-while occurrence. It's an everyday occurrence. Each time we get on an elevator, we have to think it might be the last ride before it breaks again.More [08/07/2006 12:08:00]
I have an elbow that bends the wrong way, and I'd do things like stand in an elevator and the doors would close, and I'd pretend that my arm had got caught in it, and then I'd scream, 'Ow, ow, put it back!'More [08/20/2006 12:08:00]
I was standing in the elevator and Ringo Starr got in. He's obviously a nice chap and he's got his qualities, but he was an ugly bugger, you know.More [11/08/2006 12:11:00]
John Connor: [holds up robot arm] Will this melt in the lava?
The Terminator: Yes, Throw it in.
John Connor: Adios!
[John Hurls the arm into the steel]
The Terminator: And the chip.
Sarah Connor: [in relief] It's over.
The Terminator: No. There is one more chip.
[points to head where chip is located]
The Terminator: and it must be destroyed, also.
John Connor: No! You can't go! You can't go! No, stay with us it will be ok.
The Terminator: I has to end here.
John Connor: I order you not to go. I order you not to go, I ORDER YOU NOT TO GO!
[John starts to cry]
The Terminator: I know now why you cry,
[terminator wipes johns tear]
The Terminator: but it is something I can never do.
[Gives elevator controls to Sarah]
The Terminator: Here. I cannot self-terminate. You must lower me into the steel.
[Sarah lowers him into steel]
The Terminator: Good-bye.More [03/22/2007 12:03:00]
[Domino and a wounded Ed and Choco are trapped in an elevator plummeting to an almost certain death]
Choco: I love you.
Domino Harvey: [narrates] I once swore never to invest too much emotion in anyone.
Domino Harvey: I love you.
[they kiss]
Domino Harvey: [narrates, tearful] I love you, Choco.
Ed: [shouts] It's a great day to die!More [04/24/2007 12:04:00]
Mother in Hospital: My son works the elevator in the south tower... he's a good boy. Then I saw that building going down like a pancake... damn thing is I yelled at him. I made dinner and he got held up at work... food went to waste. Now all I wanna do is hold him.
Donna McLoughlin: I know...
[they hug]
Donna McLoughlin: I know.More [05/21/2007 12:05:00]
Dr. Gonzo: Cows are gonna kill me. Bisexuals are gonna kill me. Let's get out of here, where's the elevator?
Raoul Duke: No, fuck! Don't go near the elevator man, that's just what they want us to do. Trap us in a steel box, take us down to the basement. Come here. Don't run, man. They'd like any excuse to shoot us.More [06/12/2007 12:06:00]
Willy Wonka: [Getting his shoes shined by Charlie, his face hidden behind a newspaper] Pity about that chocolate fellow, Wendle, er, Walter...
Charlie Bucket: Willy Wonka.
Willy Wonka: That's the one. Says here his candies aren't selling very well. But then I suppose he's just a rotten egg who deserves it.
Charlie Bucket: Yep.
Willy Wonka: Oh really? You ever met him?
Charlie Bucket: I did. I thought he was great at first, but then he didn't turn out so nice. He also has a funny haircut.
Willy Wonka: [coming out from behind the newspaper] I do not!
Charlie Bucket: Why are you here?
Willy Wonka: I don't feel so hot. What makes you feel better when you feel terrible?
Charlie Bucket: My family.
Willy Wonka: Ew!
Charlie Bucket: What have you got against my family?
Willy Wonka: It's not just *your* family, it's the whole idea of...
[balks]
Willy Wonka: You know, they're always telling you what to do and what not to do and it's not conducive to a creative atmosphere!
Charlie Bucket: Usually they're just trying to protect you, because they love you.
[Willy looks away]
Charlie Bucket: If you don't believe me you should ask.
Willy Wonka: Ask who? My father? Ha! No way. At least not by myself...
Charlie Bucket: You want me to come with you?
Willy Wonka: Hey! Hey, what a great idea! Yeah!
[jumps up]
Willy Wonka: And you know what? I brought transporta-
[bangs into the glass elevator and falls down]
Willy Wonka: I have watch where I park this thing.More [07/11/2007 12:07:00]
Grandma Georgina: [the glass elevator crashes through the roof of Charlie's house] I think there's someone at the door.More [07/11/2007 12:07:00]
Willy Wonka: Fortunately, we have the Great Glass Elevator to speed things alo...
[Runs into elevator and falls]
Willy Wonka: [Getting up] Speed things along.More [07/11/2007 12:07:00]
[Mike Teavee is taken away and Wonka moves towards the Great Glass Elevator with Charlie and Grandpa Joe]
Willy Wonka: Right, now, how many children are left?
Grandpa Joe: Mr. Wonka, Charlie's the only one left.
Willy Wonka: [looks at Charlie] You mean, you're the only one?... what happened to the others?More [07/11/2007 12:07:00]
The Keymaker: There is a building. Inside this building there is a level where no elevator can go, and no stair can reach. This level is filled with doors. These doors lead to many places. Hidden places. But one door is special. One door leads to the source.More [07/13/2007 12:07:00]
[about to break into a night club]
Seraph: There are no weapons allowed in this club. At the bottom of this elevator there is a coat check girl and, if we are lucky, a man to check weapons.
Trinity: And if we are unlucky?
Seraph: Then there will be many men.More [07/15/2007 12:07:00]
[Buddy is pressing the elevator buttons at the same time]
Buddy: It looks like a Christmas tree.More [10/08/2007 12:10:00]
Finian McLonergan: How dare you come back here! Didn't I tell you you were an optical delusion?
Og: I was ready to believe you yesterday but not today. Today I have proof!
Finian McLonergan: What proof?
Og: Does an optical illusion feel such a hungry yearning burning inside of him? Does an optical illusion feel the beat, beat, beat of the tom-tom in the roaring traffic's boom in his lonely room?
Finian McLonergan: Are you flying high and wide on a magic carpet ride full of butterflies inside?
Og: Aye, and what's worse, smoke keeps coming out of me eyes.
Finian McLonergan: You go round like an elevator lost in the tide?
Og: That's the feeling! Day and night, night and day!More [11/09/2007 12:11:00]
Danny: [furiously at Jack] Now, dammit! I just told you my deepest fear! Why can't you listen to what I'm saying instead of how I'm saying it? I mean, do you have any idea -any idea- what it is to be afraid of death? I can't eat my bowl of cereal in the morning because I have an irrational fear of milk. I stand there in hallways afraid to press strange elevator buttons. I almost threw out my jockey shorts because I have this fear of elastic!
[Kate begins laughing hysterically]
Ginny: Don't laugh at him.
Danny: No. Go on. Go on, laugh. Laugh. Good. I'm a fool, right? Right?
Kate Burroughs: Oh, Danny. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Now, come on... are you really afraid of your underwear?
[she starts laughing again]
Danny: I'm dying, she's laughing.More [11/24/2007 12:11:00]
Louis Tully: Your Honor, ladies and gentleman of the audience, I don't think it's fair to call my clients frauds. Sure, the blackout was a big problem for everybody. I was trapped in an elevator for two hours and I had to make the whole time. But I don't blame them. Because one time, I turned into a dog and they helped me. Thank you.
[the courtroom is in bewildered silence]
Egon: Very good, Louis. Short, but pointless.More [12/18/2007 12:12:00]
General Taylor: Woah, Dick, put the brakes on. I wanted to wait until airman left to talk with you. Dick, I'm transferring you.
Sgt. Major Dickerson: Transferring me? Where to sir?
General Taylor: You're going to Guam.
Sgt. Major Dickerson: Guam sir? There's nothing going on in Guam. Why Guam?
General Taylor: Dick, I've covered for you a lot of times cause I thought you were a little crazy. But you're not crazy, you're mean. And this is just radio.
[goes to the elevator and laughs]
General Taylor: "More dire need of a blowjob than any white man in history." That's funny.More [12/30/2007 12:12:00]
The Rapist: [muffled] You like Ava Gardner?
Cherry: Sorry?
The Rapist: [takes off gas mask] Ava Gardner. D'you like her?
Cherry: Yeah, I guess.
The Rapist: I was just thinkin' that you, uh, kinda look like Ava Gardner, a little bit.
The Rapist: [stops elevator and turns back to Cherry] You have somethin' you wanna say to me?
Cherry: I have nothing to say to you.
The Rapist: You have nothing to say to me? That's funny, cuz I could've sworn you just gave me a 'fuck you' look right now. You wanna say 'fuck you' to me?
Cherry: Not at this moment.
The Rapist: [pulls gun out of holster] You know what this is?
Cherry: A gun.
The Rapist: It's simplicity itself. You see, you point it at what you want to die. And you pull the little trigger here. And a little bullet comes outta here.
[presses gun barrel against Cherry's cheek]
The Rapist: And the little bullet... hits you right there!
[indicates Cherry's forehead]
The Rapist: And you know what? You don't look like Ava Gardner no more.
The Rapist: [grabs her hair as giant bubbles appear on his face] Do not taunt me, tramp. I am not one to be taunted. Say 'I got it'. SAY 'I GOT IT'!
Cherry: I... got it.
[turns elevator back on]
Cherry: [to herself] Tool.More [01/15/2008 12:01:00]
Henry Van Cleve: If you'd walked into a restaurant I would've become a waiter, if you'd walked into a burning building I'dve become a fireman, if you'd walked into an elevator I'dve stopped it between two floors and we've spent the rest of our lives there ... Please forgive me but you can't walk out of my life like that.More [02/26/2008 12:02:00]
Detective Del Spooner: [after one of the guards in the elevator grips Spooner's shoulder] So what hospital are you going to? I'll meet you there and sign you and your buddies' casts.More [04/07/2008 12:04:00]
Frank Horrigan: [Leary is hanging from an elevator alongside a hotel building. Horrigan offers his hand to him] Take my hand. If you don't, you'll die.
Mitch Leary: [smiling] Do you want to save me, Frank?
Frank Horrigan: To be frank and honest with you, no. But it's my job.More [04/13/2008 12:04:00]
[Jerry and Dorothy are in the elevator and a hearing impaired couple gets on. The man of the couple starts talking with his hands, then they get off]
Jerry Maguire: I wonder what he just said.
Dorothy: My favorite aunt is hearing impaired. He just said "You complete me".More [05/03/2008 12:05:00]
[as Kaufman walks out of the elevator with two bags in his hands]
Board Member: What's in the bags?
Kaufman: Money.
Board Member: Whose money?
[Kaufman reaches for his gun]
Kaufman: Watch out, Get down! Quick!
[pulls him down and shoots him]
Kaufman: ...Ours.More [06/28/2008 12:06:00]
Broken Arms Hotel Manager:
You will, of course, pay the bill now before you leave, no?



Porky Pig:
N-no - I mean, yes! M-my partner, Daffy Duck, will be r-right back. He's out c-c-c-cashing a check.


[Cut to Daffy playing dice with elevator operator]



Daffy Duck:
Come on, seven! Be good to Daffy! Don't fail me now!



Elevator Gambler:
Oh-oh! Snake eyes. Too bad! You is a dead duck, duck.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[first lines]



Broken Arms Hotel Manager:
[Porky has found the bill of his hotel stay to be $152.50] You will, of course, pay the bill now before you leave, no?



Porky Pig:
Uh, n-no. I mean, yes! My partner Daffy Duck will be r-r-right back. He's out c-c-cashing a cheque.



Daffy Duck:
[mix to an elevator. The shadow of a hand shaking dice is seen through the elevator window] Come on, seven! Be good to Daffy. Don't fail me now!



Elevator Gambler:
[Daffy throws the dice down and what he sees shocks him] Uh-oh! Snake eyes. Too bad. You is a dead duck... duck!



Porky Pig:
[Daffy slumps out of the elevator and is about to open the door when he hears Porky's voice] Don't worry, Daffy will be right back with the bil-b-bil - money.



Broken Arms Hotel Manager:
Well, I hope so.


[Daffy suddenly barges in and jumps down the manager's throat]



Daffy Duck:
Insulting my integrity, eh, fatso? Insinuating I'd flee this flea-bitten dump, eh, fatso?


[Daffy has his head pushed so far into the manager's, they look wrinkled]



Daffy Duck:
Intimating I'd abscond with your financial remunerations...



Daffy Duck:
[Daffy pulls his head out of the manager's face] EH, FATSO? Hey, look, a Dick Tracy character - Pruneface!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Ronald Kornblow:
The elevator is stuck between the fifth and sixth floors? This could only happen to me!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Osgood:
[to the elevator operator] All right, driver, once around the park, slowly, and keep your eyes on the road.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Sally Rogers:
What's the matter Rob?



Rob Petrie:
Oh, he got on the elevator and I busted my leg on a lady.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Dillon Quartermaine:
It's getting hotter.



Georgie Jones:
Even the floor feels like it's burning!



Dillon Quartermaine:
OK, OK, OK, OK, OK. That explosion came from below us, right? So I'm sure - I'll bet anything the stairwells are blocked.



Travis:
So we're trapped? Great, man, that's just great!



Georgie Jones:
Tom, it's OK.



Travis:
I'm out of here. I'm going to use the elevator because it's a lot better than getting deep-fired!



Dillon Quartermaine:
Wait a second, wait a second, dude.



Travis:
Get out of my way.



Dillon Quartermaine:
I'm not letting you leave. We stick together, all right? There's no smoke in here. They can still come and get us.



Travis:
Look, Dillon, I get that you're a good guy but...



Dillon Quartermaine:
Tom, Dude, the elevators are shut down! Even if you found an open stairwell, it's going to be filled up with smoke and that's going to kill you a lot faster than the fire will.



Georgie Jones:
Hey, he's right.



Travis:
Oh, so we just wait?



Dillon Quartermaine:
No, we be smart. We stay alive as long as we can.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Justice Ward:
What are the odds of us getting on that chopper?



Faith Rosco:
Well, lets see. After poor little Emily, prince Nikolas, and the ridiculous teenagers, I'd say we might as well take a swan dive down an elevator shaft.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[Referring to the elevator]



Miss Dorothy:
Oh, I love it! All you do in the Ritz elevator is go up and down!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Oscar Madison:
Felix, I'd like you to meet two elevator acquaintances of mine. Gwendolyn and Cecily.



Cecily Pigeon:
No, Cecily and Gwendolyn.



Oscar Madison:
Oh, Terribly sorry, Cecily and Gwendolyn. Eh, don't tell me. Eh, Robin? No, Cardinal?



Gwendolyn Pigeon:
No, Wrong both times, It's Pigeon.



Oscar Madison:
Cecily and Gwendolyn Pigeon, The Pigeon sisters.



Gwendolyn Pigeon:
Or as our friends at Chelsea use to call us, the Cuckoo Pigeon sisters.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Georges Hautecourt:
Come on, Edgar. Last one upstairs is a nincompoop.



Edgar:
Could we take the elevator this time, sir?



Georges Hautecourt:
That birdcage? Poppycock! Elevators are for old people. Whoops!


[Hautecourt almost falls back, Edgar catches him]



Edgar:
May I give you a hand, sir?



Georges Hautecourt:
You wouldn't have an extra foot, would you, Edgar?

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Archie Bunker:
[trapped in an elevator; trying the elevator phone] Hello? Operator?



Carlos Mendoza:
[to Archie] Señor?



Archie Bunker:
[into phone] Operator?



Carlos Mendoza:
[to Archie] Señor?



Archie Bunker:
Would somebody translate for this Spic here and tell him I'm trying to use the phone?



Carlos Mendoza:
[Hispanic accent] Is no need; this? uh? "Spic" speak English.



Archie Bunker:
Well, then you oughta know that I'm trying to call for help.



Carlos Mendoza:
I try to tell you, the phone only rings in the janitor's office.



Archie Bunker:
Well, then, that's who I'm trying to call.



Carlos Mendoza:
I am the janitor.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Willy Wonka:
This is the great glass Wonkavator.



Grandpa Joe:
It's an elevator.



Willy Wonka:
It's a Wonkavator. An elevator can only go up and down, but the Wonkavator can go sideways and slantways and longways and backways...



Charlie Bucket:
And frontways?



Willy Wonka:
...and squareways and front ways and any other ways that you can think of. It can take you to any room in the whole factory just by pressing one of these buttons. Any of these buttons. Just press a button and *zing*! You're off. And up until now, I've pressed them all... except one. This one. Go ahead, Charlie.



Charlie Bucket:
Me?


[Willy Wonka nods]

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[the firemen are trapped in an elevator shaft]



Chief O'Hallorhan:
We'll go down by rope. We're gonna rappel down to 65, get on top of that elevator, use it as an exit.



Young Fireman:
I can't make it. I'll fall. I know I'll fall.



Chief O'Hallorhan:
Ok. Then you better go first. That way when you fall, you won't take any of us with you.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[Chief O'Hallorhan has just found out the fire is heading towards the elevator shaft]



Chief O'Hallorhan:
Roberts, better call Duncan and tell him to STOP those people in the tower from using that express elevator - or sombeody's going to get killed!


[Roberts picks up the phone to comply]



Chief O'Hallorhan:
[addressing a colleague] OK, Kappy - ring in a third alarm. I want some rescue squads here and I also want choppers. We're going to need them to get those people off the roof.



Doug Roberts:
[on the phone to Duncan as injured firemen are brought into the office to get medical help] The fire's moving towards the main shaft. Use the scenic elevator - don't overload.



James Duncan:
OK, Doug.


[Duncan hangs up the phone and turns to do so but is confronted by Roger Simmons]



Roger Simmons:
I don't like the way you talked to me.



James Duncan:
Are you drunk?



Roger Simmons:
Not yet.



James Duncan:
Well then, get out of my way!



Roger Simmons:
You didn't talk like this 2 years ago, did you - running over budget and out of money? Did you ask me then how I could shave two million from our electrical costs?



James Duncan:
[making his way to the elevators] Shut up and help me with these people!



Roger Simmons:
And let me ask you something else, my dear father-in-law! Am I the only subcontractor you encouraged to cut corners?



James Duncan:
[addressing people in the crowd] Excuse me.



Roger Simmons:
Where did you save the other $4-million in Doug's original budget?


[Duncan reaches the front of the crowd & pushes past Simmons]



James Duncan:
[addressing the crowd at the elevators] Ladies & Gentlemen, I'm sorry. You'll have to move back into the promenade room, and we'll be taking you down by the scenic elevator. Now these express elevators can be activated by fire, and with the probability of short circuits, the cars might stop on the floor where the fire is. So please, we'll use the scenic elevator. It's over here.


[Suddenly an elevator door opens behind Duncan, and several people surge past him into it. Duncan tries to stop them but is unable to, and the door closes behind him and the elevator starts down. Duncan hits the button to try to stop the elevator but it does not return]

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[Stromberg has just dropped his mistress from his elevator into a water tank, the sole occupant of which is a big tiger shark. The shark moves in]



Stromberg:
[on loudspeaker] It was you who betrayed me. You had access to all the information. Now you will pay the penalty.


[watches on a screen as the tiger shark moves in to the attack]

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Abner Devereaux:
I'm sorry, my dear, this is a restricted area. Only authorized personell are permitted.



Melissa:
Oh, I'm sorry. I'm looking for Mr. Devereaux.



Abner Devereaux:
I'm Mr. Devereaux.



Melissa:
Oh, well, I'm looking for Sam Farrell. I was told you might be able to help me.



Abner Devereaux:
Well, perhaps I can. I'll activate the elevator mechanism. You step inside.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[Cindy recognizes Mike when they are both in a crowded elevator]



Cindy Lite:
I beat you here! I'm your cheerleader, remember?



Mike 'The Wizard' Jittlov:
What?



Cindy Lite:
This morning, in the car. I gave you the clap.


[Cindy claps her hands as everyone else in the elevator gasps and takes a step away from both of them]

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Security Officer Slater:
Some cupcake named "Cane" decided that he didn't need an environment suit. They're still sponging him off the elevator walls.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Airman:
[missiles from both sides are still en route] You know what that means, don't you? Either we fired first and they're going to try to hit what's left, or they fired first and we just got our missiles out of the ground in time. Either way, we're going to get hit.



Airman Billy McCoy:
So what are we still standing around here for?



Sergeant:
Where do you want to go?



Airman Billy McCoy:
Well how about out of here for starters! I've got to get my wife and my kid!



Sergeant:
But we're still on alert, Billy! No one leaves this facility. Not until the choppers get here.



Airman Billy McCoy:
Are you kidding me, man? The bombs will be here before the choppers will! Listen to me.



Airman:
Damn!



Airman Billy McCoy:
Listen to me, man. The war is over! It's over. We've done our job. So what are you still guarding? Huh? Some cotton-picking hole in the ground all dressed up with nowhere to go?



Airman:
He's right!



Airman Tommy:
What about Starr and Boyle?



Sergeant:
What about them?



Airman Tommy:
What are they doing?



Airman Billy McCoy:
They're sixty feet down, sipping on some cold beer and whistling "Misty"!



Airman Tommy:
I'm going down there!



Sergeant:
You can't go down there! That elevator is secure!



Airman Billy McCoy:
Do you hear yourself talking, bozo? 'Cause I hear you saying that we've got direct orders to be sitting ducks!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr:
You. You're the elevator killer. Merv Griffin.



Merv Griffin:
Yeah.



Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr:
Why?



Merv Griffin:
I don't know. I've always just loved to kill. I really enjoyed it. But then I got famous, and - it's just too hard for me. And so many witnesses. I mean, *everybody* recognized me. I couldn't even lurk anymore. I'd hear, "Who's that lurking over there? Isn't that Merv Griffin?" So I came to Europe to kill. And it's really worked out very well for me.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Gonzo:
[as Cluck Kent in a dream stuck in the elevator after the cable has brokened] Uh where was I?



Kermit:
I believe your were plunging to certain doom.



Gonzo:
Oh yeah! This looks like a job for...


[takes off hat and trench coat and then grows taller with big muscles]



Gonzo:
SUPER GONZO!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Joan Wilder:
Why won't you take the elevator?



Mrs. Irwin:
Oh, pumpkin, I never get into an elevator alone. You know... rapists.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Howe:
What have they done?



Max Zorin:
You discharged her, so she and her accomplice came here to kill you. Then they set fire to the office, to conceal the crime but they were trapped in the elevator and perished in the flames.



Howe:
But that means I would have to be...



Max Zorin:
Dead!


[shoots him]



Max Zorin:
That's rather neat, Don't you think?



James Bond:
Brilliant. I'm almost speechless with admiration.



Max Zorin:
Intuitive improvisation is the secret of genius.



James Bond:
Herr Doktor Mortner would be proud of his creation.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Ferro:
Stand by to initiate release sequencer. On my mark. Five. Four.



Hudson:
We're on an express elevator to hell; going down!



Ferro:
Three. Two. One. Mark.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[Morton and Johnson head to elevator after boardroom meeting]



Bob Morton:
Yes! Now that's how you do it in the big leagues, Johnson. You see an opening, you *go* for it!



Johnson:
You better watch your back, Bob.


[walking inside]



Johnson:
Jones is gonna come looking for you.



Bob Morton:
Oh, fuck Jones. He fumbled the ball, I was there to pick it up.



Johnson:
Too bad about Kinney, huh?



Bob Morton:
That's life in the big city.



Johnson:
[about Robocop project] When do we start?



Bob Morton:
Soon as some poor schmuck volunteers.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Tom Waits:
Things got a little snooty downtown here today. I was on one those streets that, you know, you know the ones. Okay? I walked into a hotel, I knew somebody stayed in the hotel. I walked into the hotel. I said, "Listen, could you direct me to the elevators?" The guy said, "You mean, the elevators to the rooms?" I said, "No, the elevator to Hell. Of course I mean the elevators to the rooms!"

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Ed:
Whoops.



Arnold:
Whoops? Ed, did you say "whoops"? No, Ed. "Whoops" is when you fall down an elevator shaft. "Whoops" is when you skinny-dip in a school of piranha. "Whoops" is when you accidentally douche with Drano! No, Ed. This was no "whoops." This was an AAAAAAAAAAAAAHA-HA-HA-HA!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Droopy Dog:
[as a bellhop] Going up, sir?


[eddie walks and falls on the elevator]



Droopy Dog:
[looking down from boxes] Mind the step, sir. Hold on, sir.


[Droopy pulls a lever and Eddie is pulled to the floor with his head up as the elevator goes up fast]



Droopy Dog:
[pushing the lever to stop the elevator] Your floor sir.


[Eddie is flung to the ceiling of the elevator]



Droopy Dog:
[eddie falls out of the door from the ceiling]



Droopy Dog:
[with head stretch] Have a good day, sir.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Eddie Valiant:
A ladies' man, eh?



Baby Herman:
The problem is I got a fifty year old lust and a three year old dinky. Look, Valiant, the rabbit didn't kill Acme. He's not a murderer, I should know, he's a dear friend of mine. I tell ya Valiant, the whole thing stinks like yesterday's diapers. Look at this. The papers said Acme left no will. That's a load of succotash. Any toon knows Acme had a will. He promised to leave Toontown to us toons. That will is the real reason he got bumped off.



Eddie Valiant:
Has anyone ever seen this will?



Baby Herman:
Ah, no. But he gave us his solemn oath.



Eddie Valiant:
If you think that guy could do anything solemn, the gag's on you, pal.



Baby Herman:
I just thought that since you were the one who got my pal in trouble, you might wanna help get him out. I can pay ya.



Eddie Valiant:
[angry] Save your money for a pair of elevator shoes!


[pushes stroller]



Baby Herman:
Hey hey hay, Valiant, wait!


[cigar falls to floor as stroller hits woman]



Baby Herman:
My stogie!


[sees ruined cigar]



Baby Herman:
WAAAAAAAA-HAHAHAHAAAAAA! WAAAAAAAAAAAAH! WAAAAAA...

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[the Simpsons watch "Law and Order: Elevator Inspectors Unit"]



Elevator Inspector 1:
Here's the problem, Inspector: the Floor 5 button doesn't light up.



Elevator Inspector 2:
I think I'm gonna be sick.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Emmett:
Calling me sir is like putting an elevator in an outhouse. It don't belong.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Will:
[is stuck in an elevator with Jazz and Carlton] Great, now I'm stuck with Ren and Stumpy!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Teddy 2:
Looks like your Elroy Elevator is out of order.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]

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