lawyer

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lawyer

A lawyer starts life giving $500 worth of law for $5 and ends giving $5 worth for $500.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
A lawyer is a gentlemen that rescues your estate from your enemies and then keeps it to himself.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
The kind of lawyer you hope the other fellow has.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
Time is money, especially when you are talking to a lawyer or buying a commercial.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
A good lawyer is a bad neighbor.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind; the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
A lawyer without history or literature is a mechanic, a mere working mason; if he possesses some knowledge of these, he may venture to call himself an architect.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
I get letters from kids, teenagers and young girls who just want to be Mac. I've had quite a few people actually say that they're going to become a Marine or a JAG lawyer because of me... the character. I think that's pretty cool!More [03/23/2006 12:03:00]
My grandfather was a very elegant individual. My father also. He was a lawyer and farmer in Cuba. In Miami, he had to go to work wherever he could. But whenever it was time to go out, you saw how they cared for how they looked.More [04/07/2006 12:04:00]
The guy is a lawyer by trade who operates outside the law. It's an easy thing to identify with for me.More [06/09/2006 12:06:00]
“Everyone we've talked to, and I've talked to plenty, said they didn't know this law and at least 10 to 12 of them said that they've done the same thing. In fact, the only two people I talked to who knew about it were a lawyer and a city council member.”More [08/07/2006 12:08:00]
“Look at the number of cop shows and lawyer shows and forensics shows, ... I think there could be room for two quite different examinations of the same political office.”More [08/20/2006 12:08:00]
In 1974, the modeling world changed. Jerry Ford and my lawyer negotiated the deal for the first exclusive contract in modeling history.More [09/12/2006 12:09:00]
I always wanted to be a lawyer or a doctor.More [12/04/2006 12:12:00]
What a holler would ensue if people had to pay the minister as much to marry them as they have to pay a lawyer to get them a divorce.More [12/10/2006 12:12:00]
Lee Butters: You have the right to remain silent. So shut the fuck up. You have the right to an attorney. If you can't afford an attorney, we will provide you with the dumbest fucking lawyer on earth. If you get Johnny Cochrane, I'll kill ya.More [03/04/2007 12:03:00]
“My mother wanted me to be a lawyer and I wanted to be an Actor. So I went to school, majored in theatre, and said 'Mom, I have to choose my own destiny. I want to be an actor.' A couple of weeks after I graduated college I called my mother up and said 'Can I borrow $200?' and she said 'Why don't you act like you've got $200.'”More [03/29/2007 12:03:00]
Deputy Marshal Samuel Gerard: All right, I want to start right there. We're going start with phone taps. I want to start with his lawyer first.
Cosmo Renfro: Whoa, whoa, whoa. You're never gonna get that.
Deputy Marshal Samuel Gerard: You call Judge Reuben and tell him I want a whole bunch of phone taps...
Cosmo Renfro: Why are you yelling at me? Why?
Deputy Marshal Samuel Gerard: And I'll call him later and tell him on who...
Cosmo Renfro: Why are you always yelling at me?
Deputy Marshal Samuel Gerard: IF, I'm in a good mood.
Cosmo Renfro: Why don't you yell at her some time?More [04/06/2007 12:04:00]
[after looking at divorce papers]
Jake: I better have my lawyer take a look at these. I'm just a simple country boy. There's all kinds of big words in here I can't even pronounce. Hell, you might be takin' me to the cleaners for all I know.More [04/20/2007 12:04:00]
Patrick Bateman: Harold, it's Bateman, Patrick Bateman. You're my lawyer so I think you should know: I've killed a lot of people. Some girls in the apartment uptown uh, some homeless people maybe 5 or 10 um an NYU girl I met in Central Park. I left her in a parking lot behind some donut shop. I killed Bethany, my old girlfriend, with a nail gun, and some man uh some old faggot with a dog last week. I killed another girl with a chainsaw, I had to, she almost got away and uh someone else there I can't remember maybe a model, but she's dead too. And Paul Allen. I killed Paul Allen with an axe in the face, his body is dissolving in a bathtub in Hell's Kitchen. I don't want to leave anything out here. I guess I've killed maybe 20 people, maybe 40. I have tapes of a lot of it, uh some of the girls have seen the tapes. I even, um... I ate some of their brains, and I tried to cook a little. Tonight I, uh, I just had to kill a LOT of people. And I'm not sure I'm gonna get away with it this time. I guess I'll uh, I mean, ah, I guess I'm a pretty uh, I mean I guess I'm a pretty sick guy. So, if you get back tomorrow, meet me at Harry's Bar, so you know, keep your eyes open.More [04/23/2007 12:04:00]
Raoul Duke: Well, they've nailed me goddamnit. I'm trapped in some stinking desert crossroads called Baker. I don't have much time man, the fuckers are closing in! They'll hunt me down like a fucking beast!
Dr. Gonzo: Whoa, getting a little paranoid?
Raoul Duke: [yelling] I need a fucking lawyer immediately!
Dr. Gonzo: What are you doing in Baker, didn't you get my telegram?
Raoul Duke: What telegram you worthless bastard? I'll cripple your ass for this.
Dr. Gonzo: You brainless scumbag, you're supposed in Vegas covering the National District Attorney's Conference, I rented a suite at the Flamingo. Now what are you doing out in the middle of the desert?
Raoul Duke: Never mind, it was all a big joke. Actually, I'm poolside at the Flamingo right now, talking though a portable phone some dwarf brought out from the casino. I have total credit here. DON'T come anywhere near this place, you bastard. Foreigners aren't welcome.More [06/12/2007 12:06:00]
Jake Gittes: There's no point in getting tough with me. I'm just...
Evelyn Mulwray: I don't get tough with anyone, Mr. Gittes. My lawyer does.More [07/18/2007 12:07:00]
Loretta Lynn: Dadgum it, Doo! You never ask me nothing! You just say, "Hey baby, here's the deal, take it or leave it." Well, it's drivin' me crazy, Doo!
Doolittle: Well, hell, then let's go up to the house, call a lawyer and get a divorce. I'm tired of this bullshit.
Loretta Lynn: I don't want no divorce! I just want the dadgum bedroom in the back of the house!More [07/25/2007 12:07:00]
“John Rizzo is a classic D.O. lawyer. He understands the culture, the intelligence business. He admires the case officers. And they trust him to work out tough issues in the gray with them. He is like a corporate lawyer who knows how to make the deal happen.”More [08/15/2007 12:08:00]
Kevin Lomax: Walter, as your lawyer I’m advising you to stay the fuck away from me.More [08/27/2007 12:08:00]
That was a statement that I made at a prior period of time when I was performing a different role and, as I said yesterday, when someone becomes a judge you really have to put aside the things you did as a lawyer at prior points in your legal career.More [08/29/2007 12:08:00]
Philip Blackburn: It gets worse. His lawyer is Catherine Alvarez.
Bob Garvin: Oh, great. She'd change her name to "TV Listings" just to get it in the paper.More [09/16/2007 12:09:00]
John Hobbes: You take any cop on the force, cream or no, ninety-nine percent of the time they're doing their job, aren't they?
Jonesy: Ninety-nine five.
John Hobbes: Point five. So he or she, cream or no, is doing more good out there every day than any lawyer or stockbroker or president of the United States can ever do in their lifetime. Cops are the chosen people.More [10/28/2007 12:10:00]
Kaffee: [Kaffe has just asked why Santiargo hadn't packed despite being due to be transfered in a few hours after the time of his death, Jessop smirkes] Is this funny, sir?
Col. Jessep: No, it isn't. It's tragic.
Kaffee: Do you have an answer to the question, Colonel?
Col. Jessep: Absolutely. My answer is I don't have the first damn clue. Maybe he was an early riser and liked to pack in the morning. And maybe he didn't have any friends. I'm an educated man, but I'm afraid I can't speak intelligently about the travel habits of William Santiago. What I do know is that he was set to leave the base at 0600. Now, are these the questions I was really called here to answer? Phone calls and foot lockers? Please tell me that you have something more, Lieutenant. These two Marines are on trial for their lives. Please tell me their lawyer hasn't pinned their hopes to a phone bill.
[Kaffee hesitates, dumbfounded]
Col. Jessep: Do you have any more questions for me, Counselor?
Judge Randolph: Lt. Kaffee?
[pause]
Judge Randolph: Lieutenant, do you have anything further for this witness?
[Jessep defiantly gets up to leave the courtroom]
Col. Jessep: Thanks, Danny. I love Washington.
Kaffee: Excuse me. I didn't dismiss you.
Col. Jessep: I beg your pardon?
Kaffee: I'm not finished with my examination. Sit down.
Col. Jessep: Colonel!
Kaffee: What's that?
Col. Jessep: I would appreciate it if he would address me as Colonel or Sir. I believe I've earned it.
Judge Randolph: Defense counsel will address the witness as Colonel or Sir.
Col. Jessep: [to Judge] I don't know what the hell kind of unit you're running here.
Judge Randolph: And the witness will address this court as Judge or Your Honor. I'm quite certain I've earned it. Take your seat, Colonel.More [11/05/2007 12:11:00]
Kaffee: You think I can't subpoena Markinson?
Capt. Ross: You can try but you won't find him. Do you know what Markinson did for his first 17 of his 26 years in the corps? Counterintelligence. Markinson's gone. There is no Markinson. Look, Danny, Jessup's star is on the rise. Division will give me a lot of room on this one to spare Jessup and the Corps any embarassment.
Kaffee: How much room?
Capt. Ross: I'll knock it all down to involuntary manslaughter. Two years, they'll be home in six months.
Galloway: No deal. We're going to court.
Capt. Ross: No you're not.
Galloway: Why not?
Capt. Ross: Because you'll lose and Danny knows it. And Danny also knows that if it does go to court then I'm gonna have to go all the way. His clients are going to get charged with the whole truckload. Murder. Conspiracy. Conduct unbecoming. And even though he's got me by the balls out here Danny knows that in a courtroom he loses this case. You see, Danny's a awfully talented lawyer and he's not about to let his clients go do jail for life when he knows that they can be home in six months. Now that's the end of this negotiation. I'll see you tomorrow morning at the arraignment.More [11/05/2007 12:11:00]
Col. Jessep: You fuckin' people. You have no idea how to defend a nation. All you did was weaken a country today, Kaffee. That's all you did. You put people's lives in danger. Sweet dreams, son.
Kaffee: Don't call me son. I'm a lawyer and an officer in the United States Navy. And you're under arrest, you son of a bitch.More [11/05/2007 12:11:00]
[Jack, Jeremiah, Bobby and Angel are talking to a lawyer about their inheritance]
Jack: How much do we get?
[Bobby smacks him in the back of the head]More [11/22/2007 12:11:00]
I would really like to talk about it. There are always two sides to every story, but my lawyer told me I can’t, because there’s a civil suit against me.More [11/23/2007 12:11:00]
Tessio: Barzini's people chisle my territory and we do nothing about it. Pretty soon there won't be anyplace in Brooklyn that I can hang my hat.
Michael: Try and be patient.
Clemenza: I'm not asking for help, Mike, just take off the handcuffs.
Michael: Be patient.
Clemenza: We gotta protect ourselves. At least give me the chance to recruit some new men.
Michael: No. I don't want to give Barzini any excuse to start fighting.
Tessio: Mike, you're wrong.
Clemenza: Don Corleone, you once said the day would come when me and Tessio could form our own families. Until today I would never think of such a thing but now I must ask your permission.
Don Corleone: Well, Michael's head of the family now and if give his permission then you have my blessing.
Michael: After we make the move to Nevada you can break off from the Corleone Family and go off on your own. After we make the move to Nevada.
Clemenza: How long will that take?
Michael: Six months.
Tessio: Forgive me, Godfather, but with you gone me and Pete will come under Barzini's thumb sooner or later.
Clemenza: And I hate that Goddamn Barzini. In six months time there won't be nothin' left to build on.
Don Corleone: Do you have faith in my judgement?
Clemenza: Yes.
Don Corleone: Do I have your loyalty?
Clemenza: Yes, always Godfather.
Don Corleone: Then be a friend to Michael. Do as he says.
Michael: There are negotiations being made that are going to answer all of your questions and solve all of your problems. That's all I can tell you right now. Carlo, you grew up in Nevada. When we make our move there you're going to be my right hand man. Tom Hagen is no longer Consigliari. He's going to be our lawyer in Vegas. That's no reflection on Tom it's just the way I want it. Besides, if I ever help who's a better Consigliari than my father. That's it.
[Everyone except Hagen leaves]
Tom Hagen: Mike, why am I out?
Michael: You're not a wartime Consigliari, Tom. Things could get rough with the move we're making.
Don Corleone: Tom, I advised Michael. I never thought you were a bad Consigliari. I thought Santino was a bad Don, rest in peace. Michael has all my confidence as do you. But there are reasons why you must have nothing to do with what's going to happen.
Tom Hagen: Maybe I could help.
Michael: You're out, Tom.More [12/26/2007 12:12:00]
Tom Hagen: Mr. Woltz, I'm a lawyer, I have not threatened you.
Jack Woltz: I know almost every big lawyer in New York, who the hell are you?
Tom Hagen: I have a special practice. I handle one client. Now you have my number. I'll wait for your call. By the way, I admire your pictures very much.More [12/26/2007 12:12:00]
Prison Guard: Miss Piggy.
Miss Piggy: What?
Prison Guard: Your lawyer is here to see you.
Miss Piggy: Lawyer? I don't have a lawyer.
Prison Guard: Och, sure you do. Little green guy.
Miss Piggy: [short intake of breath] Kermie. Oh. No wonder he hasn't come by to see me. He had to finish law school.More [01/09/2008 12:01:00]
John: Don't worry, son. We'll get ya the best lawyer green stamps can buy.
Paul: It's a laugh-a-line with Lennon!More [02/03/2008 12:02:00]
Frito: [Acting as Joe's public defender] It says here you robbed a hospital. Why'd you do that?
Pvt. Joe Bowers: I'm not guilty!
Frito: That's not what the other lawyer said.More [04/09/2008 12:04:00]
Mike Wallace: "Mike"? Try "Mr. Wallace." We work in the same corporation, doesn't mean we work in the same profession. What are you gonna do now? You gonna finesse me? Lawyer me some more? I've been in this profession fifty fucking years. You and the people you work for are destroying the most-respected, the highest-rated, the most-profitable show on this network!More [04/17/2008 12:04:00]
Mike Wallace: [after watching a preview of the "60 Minutes" Wigand interview that has been edited] Where's the rest? Where the hell's the rest?
[we see Lowell turning to see Mike shouting at the monitors in disbelief]
Mike Wallace: [to Eric Kluster] You cut it! You cut the guts out of what I SAID!
Eric Kluster: It was a time consideration, Mike.
Mike Wallace: Time? Bullshit! You corporate lackey! Who told you your incompetent little fingers had the requisite skills to edit me! I'm trying to band-aid a situation, here, and you're too dim to...
[Mike is suddenly interrupted by Helen Caperelli, who walks up to Wallace and Kluster]
Helen Caperelli: Mike... Mike... Mike...
Mike Wallace: [to Helen Caperelli] Mike?
[there is a long pause]
Mike Wallace: Mike? Try Mr. Wallace. We work in the same corporation doesn't mean we work in the same corporation. What are you gonna do now? You gonna finesse me? Lawyer me some more? I've been in this profession FIFTY FUCKING YEARS! You and the people you work for are destroying the most-respected, the highest-rated, the most-profitable show on this network!More [04/17/2008 12:04:00]
Sarah Sorkin: Why don't you come out to Malibu and see my new beach house tomorrow?
Ramona Barcelona: I didn't know Dimitri had a beach house.
Sarah Sorkin: Neither did I, until my lawyer found it. Quite a paper trail. Had it in the dog's name.More [04/21/2008 12:04:00]
Marylin Rexroth: What was your performance about this afternoon?
Miles Massey: What did your lawyer say?
Marylin Rexroth: Freddy, thinks you're a buffoon. He says you've been too successful. You're bored, complacent and you're on your way down.
Miles Massey: But you don't think so.
Marylin Rexroth: How do you know?
Miles Massey: Why would you be here?
Marylin Rexroth: Why did you ask me?
Miles Massey: Can't I be curious?
Marylin Rexroth: About what?
Miles Massey: Do you ever answer a question?
Marylin Rexroth: Do you?
Miles Massey: [changing the subject, to the waiter] I'll have the tournedos of beef. The lady will have the same. Thank you.
Waiter: Thank you, Sir.More [04/21/2008 12:04:00]
Rufus T. Firefly:
I'll see my lawyer about this as soon as he graduates from law school.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Elizabeth:
What's a lawyer?



Edward Morgan:
Well, if you ever get into trouble, a lawyer is a person who gets you out of trouble.



Elizabeth:
Oh, my. I could use one almost every day!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Benny Battle:
[at the barber shop] Every time I turn around I see another bull.



Benny Battle:
[Danny emerges from under a towel in the next chair] Well, if it isn't Daniel Barr, the handsome dick.



Danny Barr:
Gettin' yourself dolled up?



Danny Barr:
Yeah, there's nuttin' like spendin' a half hour in a barber shop that makes a new man out of ya.



Danny Barr:
When did ya get out outta the can?



Benny Battle:
About an hour ago, thanks to the habby-us corpus.



Danny Barr:
Yeah, and that shyster lawyer of yours.



Benny Battle:
I wouldn't talk like that. Ya might get pinched for slander.



Eve Fallon:
Yeah, and don't carry any matches; they're liable to charge you with arson.



Benny Battle:
Hey, Chalkie, get me a pineapple soda. Get me a big lump of whipped cream on it, and a nice red cherry. How's it, babe?



Danny Barr:
How d'ya like that chair?



Benny Battle:
I like it, 'specially when I'm tired.



Danny Barr:
Well, there's one upstate looks just like it. Ya wouldn't care for that one would ya?



Benny Battle:
No thanks. I'm not that tired.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Judge J.D. Booth:
Now, Ching-Ching, have either of the parties ever evidenced by their actions any proper legal grounds for divorce?



Barbara Stewart aka Ching-Ching:
There is utterly no grounds for disturbing the marital status of the contestants.



Randall's Lawyer in Reno:
This is most irregular, your honor. The child clearly doesn't know what she's saying!



Judge J.D. Booth:
Oh yes, she does! Isn't this entire divorce case just the result of two adults behaving like stubborn children, refusing to break down and admit that they're in love with each other?

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Lawyer Goodwill:
[after drinking the Jekyll and Hyde juice] You wouldn't think I was lawyer Goodwill now, would you? I'm going to get rid of those pigs, and you can't help them, either! You bunch of softies! Yeah, you in the third row, you big softie!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Rocky Sullivan:
[to Jim Frazier] Look, I know you're a smart lawyer - very smart - but don't get smart with me.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Larry Haines:
I gotta send a wire to Nat Burton. I gotta tell him to get us a lawyer to straighten out this murder business.



Karen Bentley:
Who's Nat Burton?



Larry Haines:
He's my agent.



Karen Bentley:
Do you think he'll help?



Larry Haines:
He'd better. If I get the electric chair, he gets 10% of the current.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Sen. Burnett:
No mystery about me, just a hick lawyer the voters got stuck with.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Aunt Edna Collier:
Oh, and I am so glad you came - it's so important to have a lawyer at parties these days.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[opening lines - voice over]



Joe Morse:
This is Wall Street... and today was important because tomorrow - July Fourth - I intended to make my first million dollars. An exciting day in any man's life. Temporarily, the enterprise was slightly illegal. You see I was the lawyer for the numbers racket.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Arthur Bannister:
You hear that George? You've just been called a shark. If you were a good lawyer you'd take it as a compliment.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Lt. Harry Brubaker:
I'm a lawyer from Denver, Colorado.



Mike Forney:
Then what are you doing in a smelly ditch in Korea, Sir?



Lt. Harry Brubaker:
I was just asking myself that same question.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Major Linton Cosgrave:
My lawyer calls it squatters' rights.



Jet Cosgrave:
Tell your lawyer the Newmark has a new squatter and enough guns to keep trespassers out. And that means you, Major.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Juror #3:
What do you mean you want to try it? Why didn't his lawyer bring it up if it's so important?



Juror #5:
Well, maybe he just didn't think about it huh?



Juror #10:
What do you mean didn't think of it? Do you think the man's an idiot or something? It's an obvious thing.



Juror #5:
Did you think of it?



Juror #10:
Listen smart guy, it don't matter whether I thought of it. He didn't bring it up because he knew it would hurt his case. What do you think of that?



Juror #8:
Maybe he didn't bring it up because it would of meant bullying and badgering a helpless old man. You know that doesn't sit very well with a jury; most lawyers avoid it if they can.



Juror #7:
So what kind of a bum is he then?



Juror #8:
That's what I've been asking, buddy.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Juror #8:
According to the testimony, the boy looks guilty... maybe he is. I sat there in court for six days listening while the evidence built up. Everybody sounded so positive, you know, I... I began to get a peculiar feeling about this trial. I mean nothing is that positive. There're a lot of questions I'd have liked to ask. I don't know, maybe they wouldn't have meant anything, but... I began to get the feeling that the defense counsel wasn't conducting a thorough enough cross-examination. I mean he... he let too many things go by... little things that...



Juror #10:
What little things? Listen, when these fellas don't ask questions it's because they know the answers already and they figure they'll be hurt.



Juror #8:
Maybe. It's also possible for a lawyer to be just plain stupid, isn't it? I mean it's possible.



Juror #7:
You sound like you met my brother-in-law.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Margaret "Maggie" Pollitt:
Look, Mama, he's wearing Brick's birthday present. I haven't given you my present yet, but I will now. I have an announcement to make.



Mae Pollitt:
What kind of an announcement?



Margaret "Maggie" Pollitt:
An announcement of life beginning. A child is coming, sired by Brick out of Maggie the cat. I have Brick's child in my body, and that is my present to you.



Mae Pollitt:
Did you ever in all your born days hear such a bold-faced lie?



Gooper Pollitt:
Shut up.



Ida 'Big Momma' Pollitt:
[kissing Maggie] Thank you. Thank you very much.



Harvey 'Big Daddy' Pollitt:
Yes indeed, this girl has life in her body. And that's no lie. Gooper, I want to talk to my lawyer in the morning. Brick?



Brick Pollitt:
Yes, Big Daddy?



Harvey 'Big Daddy' Pollitt:
I'm going to go out and look this place over before I give it up. The place and the people on it.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]

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Quotes of the month

Anatoly Yurkin Avatar Robinsonade. Anatoly Yurkin) [03/14/2021 10:03:12] More


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