[after drinking a beauty potion]
Donkey: I don't *feel* any different. Do I look any different?
Puss-in-Boots: You still look like an ass to me! (Coyote Peter)
Shrek: Quick tell a lie!
Pinocchio: What should I say?
Donkey: Say something crazy... like you're wearing ladies underwear.
Pinocchio: Um, ok. I'm wearing ladies underwear.
Pinocchio: [silence]
Shrek: Are you?
Pinocchio: I most certainly am not.
Pinocchio: [nose extends] .
Donkey: It looks like you most certainly am are.
Pinocchio: I am not.
Pinocchio: [nose extends]
Puss-in-Boots: What Kind?
Gingerbread Man: IT'S A THONG! (Coyote Peter)
Pinocchio: I'm a real boy! (Coyote Peter)
Gingerbread Man: It looks like we're up chocolate creek without a Popsicle stick! (Coyote Peter)
Shrek: So, Fiona's father paid you to do this?
Puss-in-Boots: Oh, the rich king? So. (Coyote Peter)
[Puss is watching Shrek and Fiona]
Puss-in-Boots: Whatever happens... I must not... cry. (Coyote Peter)
Princess Fiona: Is that glitter on your lips?
Prince Charming: Yes, cherry flavored. Want a taste? (Coyote Peter)
Donkey: [to Puss-in-Boots] The position of annoying talking animal has been filled. (Coyote Peter)
Donkey: You're supposed to say "You have the right to remain silent!". No one said I have the right to remain silent!
Shrek: Donkey, you HAVE the right to remain silent. What you lack, is the capacity. (Coyote Peter)
[convincing Donkey to let Puss come with them]
Shrek: How many cats can wear boots? Honestly?... (Coyote Peter)
Fairy Godmother: I don't care whose fault this was, just get it sorted! And could someone please bring me something deep fat fried and smothered in chocolate... (Coyote Peter)
Queen: So, you live in a swamp? That sounds like a fine place to raise the children.
Shrek: It's a little early to be thinking about that, isn't it?
King: Indeed! I had just started eating. (Coyote Peter)
Puss-in-Boots: Pray for mercy from Puss... in boots. (Coyote Peter)
Donkey: Pray for mercy, from Puss!
Puss-in-Boots: And Donkey! (Coyote Peter)
Donkey: [as he stands on an elevating stage with a mic] Puss and Donkey y'all. (Coyote Peter)
Puss-in-Boots: Hey! Isn't we supposed to be having a fiesta? (Coyote Peter)
Donkey: [as he stands on an elevated stage with a mike] Puss and Donkey, y'all. (Coyote Peter)
King: So I suppose any grandchildren I could expect from you would be...
Shrek: Ogres! Yes!
Queen: Not that there's anything wrong with that. Right, Harold?
King: Oh, no, no. Of course not! That's assuming you don't eat your own young.
Princess Fiona: Dad!
Shrek: Oh, no, we usually prefer the ones who have been locked away in the tower.
Princess Fiona: Shrek, please!
King: I only did that because I love her!
Shrek: Oh, yeah! Daycare or dragon-guarded castle! (Coyote Peter)
Gingerbread Man: Fire up the ovens, Muffin Man! We got a big order to fill. (Coyote Peter)
Puss-in-Boots: Ah-ha-ha!...
[cough - hack - cough]
Puss-in-Boots: He he... Hairball.
Donkey: Oh, that is nasty! (Coyote Peter)
Puss-in-Boots: I must hold on before I too go mad.
Pinocchio: Shrek? Donkey?
Puss-in-Boots: Too late. (Coyote Peter)
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