Goldmember: Look. My vinky was a key.
Nigel Powers: Only a bloody Dutchman... (Coyote Peter)
Number 2: While you were in space, I created a way for us to make huge sums of legitement money, and still maintain the ethics and the business practices of an evil organisation. I have turned us into talent agency; the Hollywood Talent Agency. (Coyote Peter)
Austin Powers: You're insane, Goldmember.
Goldmember: And that's the way, uh huh, uh huh, I like it
[mutters]
Goldmember: KC and the Sunshine Band. (Coyote Peter)
Dr. Evil: Boo-frickity-hoo. (Coyote Peter)
Number 2: Dr. Evil, can you continue with your plan?
Dr. Evil: Of course, Number 2, our plan is SCOTTY DON'T.
Scott Evil: Oh, come on, you're such a lame ass. (Coyote Peter)
Scott Evil: [to Dr Evil] I hate you.
[to Austin]
Scott Evil: I hate you.
[to Foxxy]
Scott Evil: I don't even know you but I hate you too.
[to Mini-Mi]
Scott Evil: And I ESPECIALLY hate you.
[Scott runs away]
Dr. Evil: I'd just like to point out that no one else in my gene pool runs like a girl (Coyote Peter)
Dr. Evil: Using my time machine I shall travel back to 1975, pick up Goldmember and bring him back to the future. And the best part of this plan is... no one can stop me. Not even... Austin Powers.
[All laugh maliciously]
Austin Powers: Not so fast. You're surrounded, Doctor Evil.
Dr. Evil: Shit (Coyote Peter)
Austin Powers: Not so fast. You're surrounded, Doctor Evil.
Dr. Evil: Shit (Coyote Peter)
Dr. Evil: Our early attempts at a tractor beam went through several preparations. Preparations A through G were a complete failure. But now, ladies and gentlemen, we finally have a working tractor beam, which we shall call... Preparation H.
[Scott snickers]
Dr. Evil: What?
Scott Evil: Why don't you just call it operation ass-cream, you ass.
Dr. Evil: I'm sorry, did you say you want some ice cream?
Scott Evil: Yes, I'd love some chocolate ass-cream.
Dr. Evil: Perhaps later.
Number 2: Dr. Evil, I love your plan.
Dr. Evil: You do?
Frau Farbissina: Yah. It's a really good plan.
Dr. Evil: Yes Frau, on the whole Preparation H feels good.
[Scott resumes snickering]
Dr. Evil: What is it now?
Scott Evil: No, I totally agree with you. Preparation H does feel good... on the hole. (Coyote Peter)
Austin Powers: Smashing, Basil. A pimp-mobile.
Basil Exposition: Yes, yes. I knew it would tickle *your* fancy.
Austin Powers: What can I say?
[Grabs dice on rear-view mirror]
Austin Powers: Cough!
[pretends to cough] (Coyote Peter)
Fat Bastard: Do ya have ta call me fat? I tried going on a diet you know. The Zone, ya know, "Carbs are the enemy," eh?
Fat Bastard: [extension from deleted scene] But the portions were so wee I ate the delivery man. (Coyote Peter)
Dr. Evil: Quid pro-quo, Mr. Powers.
Austin Powers: Yes, squid pro row. (Coyote Peter)
Fat Bastard: I've been tryin' to go legit.
Austin Powers: Of course...
Fat Bastard: But when you're an overweight child, in a society that demands perfection, your sense of right and wrong, fair and unfair will always be tragically skewed...
[farts]
Austin Powers: Did you just soil yourself?
Fat Bastard: Maybe.
[laughs]
Fat Bastard: It did sound a little wet, there didn't it? Right at the end! Oooh! Heh heh heh. Let's have a smell all right? Oh, everyone likes their own brand, don't they? Oh, this is magic! Hmmm, wafting, wafting. Ok, anylisis. Ooh, smells like carrots in throw-up! Oh that could gag a maggot! I smell like hot sick... ass in a dead carcass! Even stink would say that stinks! You know when you go into an apartment building and you smell the other people's cooking on each floor and you go "What are they cookin'?" That, plus crap! (Coyote Peter)
Foxxy Cleopatra: [singing] He's got the Midas touch, but he touched it too much. Hey, Goldmember. Hey, Goldmember. He's got a golden pad, he's super bad. Hey, Goldmember. Hey, Goldmember. (Coyote Peter)
Goldmember: I vant everyone to have an Amsterdam good time. (Coyote Peter)
Fat Bastard: [moans] This diaper's making my nuts rub together. It's gonna start a fire. (Coyote Peter)
Nigel Powers: [to Goldmember] There are only two things I can't stand in this world. People who are intolerant of other people's cultures... and the Dutch. (Coyote Peter)
Dr. Evil: All right, it's getting crowded in here. Everyone out. Everyone out. C'mon.
[Everyone starts to leave]
Dr. Evil: Not you, Scottie. Not you, Number 2. Not you, Frau. Not you, Goldmember. Not you, guys back there. Not you, henchman holding wrench. Not you, henchman arbitrarily turning knobs, making it seem like you're doing something.
[Scott and Dr. Evil look at Mini Me]
Dr. Evil: Ohh, this is uncomfortable.
Goldmember: Heheheh, the tiny one can't take a hint, Heheheheh. He doesn't understand he's small. (Coyote Peter)
Dixie Normous: Hi, I'm Dixie. Dixie Normous. I may be just a small-town FBI agent slash single mother, but I'm still tough... and sexy.
Famous Austin: Well, Miss Normous... shall we shag now, or shag later? (Coyote Peter)
Dr. Evil: I don't know how to be no crib on MTV, God only knows, got my mini-me and the GP see how it goes. Evil's all that I see, you ask me my name? D to the rizzo, E to the vizzo, I to the lizzo. I'm a crazy motherfucker, y'all knew that. Austin caught me in the first act, it's all backwards, what's up with that? So I'll make a prophecy from the dogs to the mini-me. Gimme and Escalade, two way, bling-bling on eBay. DOMINO, motherfucker! (Coyote Peter)
Nigel Powers: Blimey! I thought I smelled cabbage. (Coyote Peter)
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