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Austin Powers: [holding Scott hostage] It seems the tables have turned again, Dr. Evil.
Dr. Evil: Not really. Kill the little bastard, see if I care.
Scott Evil: But dad, we just had a breakthrough in group.
Dr. Evil: I had the group LIQUIDATED, you little shit! They were insolent! (Coyote Peter)
Austin Powers: My name is Richie Cunningham, and this is my lovely wife, Oprah. (Coyote Peter)
Austin Powers: [muttering] Baseball, cold showers, baseball, cold showers.
[One of the fembots stands over him and opens her legs]
Austin Powers: Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day! Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day! (Coyote Peter)
Austin Powers: Excuse me, but you didn't happen to see...
[Austin looks at the man and sees that he is blind]
Austin Powers: ...anything at all. (Coyote Peter)
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Austin Powers: Pardon me for being rude. It was not me, it was my food. It just popped up to say hello, and now it's gone back down below. (Coyote Peter)
Austin Powers: [has just farted in Alotta's hot tub] Pardon me for being rude, it was not me it was my food, it just popped up to say hello, but now it's gone back down below. (Coyote Peter)
Austin Powers: Its time to swing, baby. (Coyote Peter)
Frau Farbissina: Send in the FEMBOTS! (Coyote Peter)
Radar Operator: Colonel, you better have a look at this radar.
Colonel: What is it, son?
Radar Operator: I don't know, sir, but it looks like a giant...
Jet Pilot: Dick. Dick, take a look out of starboard.
Co-Pilot: Oh my God, it looks like a huge...
Bird-Watching Woman: Pecker.
Bird-Watching Man: [raising binoculars] Ooh, Where?
Bird-Watching Woman: Over there. What sort of bird is that? Wait, it's not a woodpecker, it looks like someone's...
Army Sergeant: Privates. We have reports of an unidentified flying object. It has a long, smooth shaft, complete with...
Baseball Umpire: Two balls.
[looking up from game]
Baseball Umpire: What is that. It looks just like an enormous...
Chinese Teacher: Wang. pay attention.
Wang: I was distracted by that giant flying...
Musician: Willie.
Willie: Yeah?
Musician: What's that?
Willie: [squints] Well, that looks like a huge...
Colonel: Johnson.
Radar Operator: Yes, sir?
Colonel: Get on the horn to British Intelligence and let them know about this. (Coyote Peter)
Scott: If you've got a time machine, why don't you just go back and kill Austin Powers when he's sitting on the crapper or something?
Dr. Evil: How about, no, Scott? Okay? (Coyote Peter)
Austin: Let's hop on the good foot and do the bad thing. (Coyote Peter)
Austin: So, Basil, if I travel back to 1969 and I was frozen in 1967, presumeably, I could go back and look at my frozen self. But, if I'm still frozen in 1967, how could I have been unthawed in the '90s and traveled back to the '60s?
[goes cross-eyed]
Austin: Oh, no, I've gone cross-eyed.
Basil: I suggest you don't worry about those things and just enjoy yourself.
[to camera]
Basil: That goes for you all, too.
Austin: Yes. (Coyote Peter)
Austin: Yes, Yes, Yes! NO NO! (Coyote Peter)
Dr. Evil: As you know, every diabolical scheme I've hatched has been thwarted by Austin Powers. And why is that, ladies and gentlemen?
Scott: Because you never kill him when you get the chance, and you're a dope? (Coyote Peter)
Dr. Evil: The moon unit will be divided into two divisions: Moon Unit Alpha and Moon Unit Zappa. (Coyote Peter)
Austin: How could you sleep with Fat Bastard?
Felicity Shagwell: I was just doing my duty, Austin. I had to.
Austin: No, I mean, literally, HOW could you do it? He's so fat, the sheer mechanics of it are mind-boggling. (Coyote Peter)
Scott: [both are the Jerry Springer show] How could you do this to me? On national television!
Dr. Evil: Because you're not quite evil enough.
[audience boos]
Dr. Evil: Well it's true! You're semi-evil. You're quasi-evil. You're the margarine of evil. You're the Diet Coke of evil. Just one calorie, not evil enough. (Coyote Peter)
Austin: Those are skin tight. How do you get into those pants baby?
Felicity Shagwell: You can start by buying me a drink. (Coyote Peter)
Mike Myers: You know what's remarkable? That England looks in no way like Southern California. (Coyote Peter)
Robin Swallows: Tell me, Mr. Powers. Do you swing?
Austin: Are you kidding, baby? I put the "grrrr" in swinger, baby! Yeah! (Coyote Peter)
Felicity Shagwell: Austin Powers, I presume.
Austin: Powers by name, powers by reputation.
Felicity Shagwell: Felicity Shagwell, CIA. Shagwell by name, shag-very-well by reputation.
Austin: Oh, be-have.
Felicity Shagwell: Not if I can help it. (Coyote Peter)
Dr. Evil: As the French say, that certain "I don't know what". (Coyote Peter)
Ivana: Do you know how we keep warm in Russia?
Austin: I can guess, baby.
Ivana: We play chess.
Austin: I guessed wrong. (Coyote Peter)
Ivana: When did you get "The Clapper"?
Austin: November, 1964, Dutch East Indies, shore leave. (Coyote Peter)
Felicity Shagwell: Move over, Rover. This chick is taking over. (Coyote Peter)
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