Vantine: What you been eatin', cement? (Chong Tommy)
Barbara Willis: Don't you think I could be happy?
Dennis Morgan: Would you mind if I made it my job to see that you are? (Chong Tommy)
James Clayton: Everything is a test! (Chong Tommy)
Walter Burke: I pity da fool! (Chong Tommy)
Walter Burke: Nothing... is... what it seems. (Chong Tommy)
James Clayton: All I know about the CIA is that they're a bunch of fat, old white guys who fell asleep when we needed them most. (Chong Tommy)
Walter Burke: You gotta give me one thing. I'm a scary judge of talent. (Chong Tommy)
James Clayton: Would I have to kill anyone?
Walter Burke: Would you like to? (Chong Tommy)
Walter Burke: All right, your objective - reach the parking lot with an asset who intends to have sex with you.
James Clayton: You want us to pick up a girl?
Walter Burke: Well, uh, five, actually - one each. (Chong Tommy)
Psychiatrist #1: Would you consider yourself subjectively firm or objectively flexible?
James Clayton: Metaphysically wrinkle-free? (Chong Tommy)
Walter Burke: My dick's on fire! (Chong Tommy)
Husky Guy: What are the names of your instructors?
James Clayton: Ok, ok. John's the wise guy. Paul's the cute one. George is pretty quiet, and this new kid... I can't remember his name. (Chong Tommy)
Physiatrist: How do upsetting problems generally make you feel?
James Clayton: Upset. (Chong Tommy)
Walter Burke: Very dramatic, James.
James Clayton: I want to talk, can we talk?
Walter Burke: Yeah.
James Clayton: Where are you?
Walter Burke: Well, you know the phone booth you're calling from?
James Clayton: Yeah.
Walter Burke: Turn around. (Chong Tommy)
James Clayton: The Iwo Jima Memorial... this where you tell me about duty and sacrafice?
Walter Burke: No. This is where I have my breakfast burrito. (Chong Tommy)
James Clayton: You said you wanted to go home and have comfort sex. Did you? (Chong Tommy)
Walter Burke: What do you know about the CIA?
James Clayton: All I know is they're a bunch of old fat white guys who fell asleep when this country needed them most. (Chong Tommy)
James Clayton: Ever since we met we've been lying to each other. Now there's no reason to believe any of it is true, but I'm gonna anyway, okay? (Chong Tommy)
James Clayton: Tell me about my father.
Walter Burke: You already know, don't you? That's why you're sitting here. You want answers, you're in the wrong car, kid. I only have secrets. (Chong Tommy)
Walter Burke: There's this parish priest and he goes before the Pope weeping and begging for forgiveness. What am I to do, oh what am I to do I do not believe in God anymore and you know what the pope said... fake it. (Chong Tommy)
Walter Burke: Let's break up this dance team! (Chong Tommy)
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