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Hermione: Ow! That looks really painful.
Ron: It's sorta painful. They uh, they might... chop it.
Hermione: I'm sure Madame Pomfrey will fix it in a heartbeat.
Ron: It's too late, it's ruined. It'll have to be chopped off. (Curtis Ken)
Aunt Marge: They use the cane at St. Brutus's, boy?
Harry: Oh. Yeah, yeah. I... I've been beaten loads of times. (Curtis Ken)
Stan Shunpike: What you doin' down there?
Harry: I fell over.
Stan Shunpike: Well, what you fell over for?
Harry: I didn't do it on purpose.
Stan Shunpike: Well come on then! Let's not wait for the grass to grow! (Curtis Ken)
Harry: [about the Marauder's Map] Professor, I don't think it always works. Earlier... it showed someone in the castle... someone I know to be dead.
Professor Lupin: Who?
Harry: Peter Pettigrew.
Professor Lupin: That's not possible. (Curtis Ken)
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Ron: [seeing Hermione appear in class] When did she come in? Did you SEE her come in? (Curtis Ken)
Ron: [when Harry and Hermione reappear] How did you get there? I... I was talking to you there! And now you're there!
Hermione: What's he talking about Harry?
Harry: I dunno. Honestly Ron, how can people be in two places at once? (Curtis Ken)
Professor Lupin: [commenting on Sirius' ragged looks] Finally, the flesh reflects the madness within.
Sirius Black: Well, you'd know all about the madness within, wouldn't you Remus? (Curtis Ken)
Ginny Weasley: The Fat lady... she is gone!
Ron: Serves her right. She was a terrible singer...
Hermione: That's not funny, Ron! (Curtis Ken)
Ron: So Sirius Black has broken out of Azkaban to come after you?
Hermione: But they'll catch Black, won't they? I mean, everyone's looking for him.
Ron: Sure... except no one's broken out of Azkaban before and he's a murderous, raving lunatic.
Harry: Thanks, Ron. (Curtis Ken)
Professor Snape: That is the second time you have spoken out of turn, Miss Granger. Are you incapable of restraining yourself, or do you take pride in being an insufferable know-it-all?
Ron: He's got a point, you know.
Harry: Thanks, Ron. (Curtis Ken)
Shrunken Head: Ernie, little old lady at twelve o'clock!
[the Knight Bus screeches to a halt]
Shrunken Head: Ten... nine... eight... seven... six... five... four... 'tree'... 'tree' and a half... two... one and 'tree' quarters... YES!
Harry: Thanks, Ron. (Curtis Ken)
Hermione: [gazing at a crystal ball] Can I give it a try?
Professor Trelawney: Yes, sure!
Hermione: The grim. Possibly.
Professor Trelawney: You know, my dear, the moment I looked into your eyes I knew that you did not have the mind for the noble art of Divination.
[looking at her palm]
Professor Trelawney: See? Right here. You may be young in years but the heart that beats beneath your bosom is as shriveled as an old maid's, your soul as dry as the pages of the books to which you so desperately cleave.
[Hermione gets up and leaves, angrily]
Professor Trelawney: Have I said something? (Curtis Ken)
Sirius Black: Sorry about the bite, I reckon that twinges a bit.
Ron: A bit? A bit? You almost tore my leg off!
Sirius Black: I *was* going for the rat. Normally, I have a very sweet disposition as a dog. In fact, more than once, James suggested that I make the change permanent. The tail I could live with. But the fleas? They're murder. (Curtis Ken)
Harry: Professor Trelawney?
Professor Trelawney: [in a deep, raspy voice] He will return tonight! He who betrayed his friends - whose heart rots with murder! Innocent blood shall be shed and servant and master shall be reunited once moooooooore!
[coughs]
Professor Trelawney: Oh, I'm sorry, dear. Did you say something? (Curtis Ken)
Harry: I didn't mean to blow her up, I just... lost control.
Ron: Brilliant!
Hermione: Honestly Ron, it's not funny! Harry was lucky not to be expelled.
Harry: I think I was lucky not to have been arrested actually.
Ron: I still think it's brilliant. (Curtis Ken)
Hermione: [to Harry] Look who it is... Madame Rosmerta. Ron fancies her!
Ron: That's not true! (Curtis Ken)
Ron: She's gone mental, Hermione has! I mean, not that she wasn't always. But, now it's out there in the open for everyone to see. (Curtis Ken)
Sirius Black: Enough talk, let's kill him!
Professor Lupin: Wait!
Sirius Black: I DID MY WAITING! TWELVE YEARS OF IT! IN AZKABAN! (Curtis Ken)
Young Witch Maid: Housekeeping!
[the door opens, something roars from inside the room, and the door slams shut]
Young Witch Maid: I'll come back later. (Curtis Ken)
Stan Shunpike: Take her away, Ern.
Shrunken Head: [With a Jamaican accent] Yeah, take it away, Ernie! It's going be a bumpy ride! (Curtis Ken)
Stan Shunpike: What did you say your name was again?
Harry: I didn't.
Stan Shunpike: Well, whereabout are you headed?
Harry: The Leaky Cauldron! That's in London.
Stan Shunpike: D'you hear that, Ern? The Leaky Cauldron that's in London.
Shrunken Head: Ah, the Leaky Cauldron! You get the pea soup, make sure you eat it before it eats you! (Curtis Ken)
Harry: [about the Marauder's Map] What's this rubbish?
George Weasley: "What's this rubbish?" he says.
Fred Weasley: That is the secret to our success. (Curtis Ken)
George Weasley: Not flashing that clipping again, are you, Ron?
Ron: I haven't shown anyone!
Fred Weasley: No, not a soul! Unless you count Tom.
George Weasley: The day maid.
Fred Weasley: The night maid.
George Weasley: The cook.
Fred Weasley: That bloke who came to fix the toilet.
George Weasley: And that wizard from Belgium! (Curtis Ken)
Percy Weasley: I'm Head Boy! (Curtis Ken)
Harry: [in reference to Sirius Black on the front cover of the Daily Prophet] Who is that? That man?
Stan Shunpike: Who is that?... Who is... THAT is Sirius Black that is! Don't tell me you've never been hearing of Sirius Black?
Harry: [Harry shakes his head]
Stan Shunpike: He's a murderer. Got himself locked up in Azkaban for it.
Harry: How did he escape?
Stan Shunpike: Well that's the question, isn't it? He's the first one who done it. He was a big supporter of You-Know-Who. Reckon you've heard of him?
Harry: Yeah... him I've heard of. (Curtis Ken)
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