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Professor Lupin: Now repeat after me - without wands please - repeat after me, Riddikulus.
Class: Riddikulus!
Professor Lupin: Very good. A little louder please, and very clearly. Rid-di-kulus.
Class: Riddikulus!
Malfoy: [under his breath] This class is ridiculous. (Chong Tommy)
Ron: What the bloody hell was that all about? (Chong Tommy)
Ron: Bloody hell! (Chong Tommy)
Malfoy: Ah, come to see the show?
Hermione: [shouts] You! You foul, loathsome, evil little cockroach!
[Hermione raises her wand at Malfoy. He backs against the wall, whimpering]
Ron: Hermione, no! He's not worth it.
[Hermione lowers her wand and turns away. Malfoy starts laughing, she spins around and socks him in the nose]
Vincent Crabbe: Malfoy! Are you okay? Come on, let's go!
Malfoy: [running away] Not a word to anyone! Understood?
Hermione: That felt good.
Ron: Not good, brilliant! (Chong Tommy)
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Hermione: If you're going to kill Harry, you'll have to kill us, too.
Sirius Black: Only one will die tonight. (Chong Tommy)
Shrunken Head: Watch your head! (Chong Tommy)
Malfoy: You're going to regret this.
Hagrid: Class dismissed.
Malfoy: You and your bloody chicken. (Chong Tommy)
Professor Snape: Expelliarmus! Ah, vengeance is sweet. How I hoped I'd be the one to catch you.
[to Lupin]
Professor Snape: I told Dumbledore you were helping an old friend enter the castle and now here's the proof.
Sirius Black: Brilliant, Snape - once again you've put your keen and penetrating mind to the task and as usual come to the wrong conclusion. Now if you'll excuse us, Remus and I have some unfinished business to attend to.
Professor Snape: Give me a reason. I beg you.
Professor Lupin: Severus, don't be a fool.
Sirius Black: He can't help it. It's habit by now.
Professor Lupin: Sirius, be quiet...
Sirius Black: Go bite yourself, Remus!
Professor Snape: Listen to you two, quarrelling like an old married couple.
Sirius Black: Why don't you run along and play with your chemistry set?
Professor Snape: I could do it you know. But why deny the Dementors? They're so longing to see you. Do I detect a flicker of fear? Ah, yes. The Dementor's Kiss. One can only imagine what that must be like to endure. It's said to be nearly unbearable to witness but I'll do my best. (Chong Tommy)
Hermione: Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats, you know.
Ron: Yeah, along with the dung beetle. (Chong Tommy)
Hermione: Beautiful day.
Ron: [sarcastically] Gorgeous... Unless of course you've been ripped to pieces.
Harry: [confused] Ripped to pieces? What are you talking about?
Hermione: [annoyed] Ronald has lost his rat.
Ron: I haven't lost anything! Your cat killed him!
Hermione: Rubbish!
Ron: Harry, you've seen the way that blood thirsty beast of hers is always lurking about. Scabbers is gone!
Hermione: Well maybe you should lern to take better care of your pets!
Ron: Your cat killed him!
Hermione: Did not!
Ron: Did!
Hermione: Didn't! (Chong Tommy)
Hermione: Harry... what's happened?
Harry: [Referring to Sirius Black] He was their friend, and he betrayed them. HE WAS THEIR FRIEND!... I hope he finds me! Because when he does, I'm gonna be ready! When he does, I'M GOING TO KILL HIM! (Chong Tommy)
Harry: "Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs are proud to present the Marauder's Map."
George Weasley: We owe them so much.
Harry: Hang on. This is Hogwarts. And that... No. Is that really...?
Fred Weasley: Dumbledore.
George Weasley: In his study.
Fred Weasley: Pacing.
George Weasley: Does that a lot.
Harry: So you mean this map shows...?
Fred Weasley: Everyone.
Harry: Everyone?
George Weasley: Everyone.
Fred Weasley: Where they are.
George Weasley: What they're doing.
Fred Weasley: Every minute.
George Weasley: Of every day.
Harry: Brilliant! Where'd you get it?
Fred Weasley: Nicked it from Filch's office, of course, first year.
George Weasley: Now, listen. There are seven secret passageways out of the castle. We'd recommend...
George Weasley, Fred Weasley: This one.
Fred Weasley: The One-Eyed Witch passageway.
George Weasley: It'll lead you straight to Honeyduke's cellar.
Fred Weasley: We best hurry. Filch is heading this way.
George Weasley: Oh, and Harry, don't forget. When you're done, just give it a tap and say...
George Weasley, Fred Weasley: "Mischief Managed." Otherwise anyone can read it. (Chong Tommy)
Cornelius Fudge: Now write your name only.
Dumbledore: It's quite a long name. (Chong Tommy)
Professor Trelawney: Your aura is pulsing my dear. Are you in the beyond? I think you are.
Ron: Sure...
Professor Trelawney: Cup... tell me what you see.
Ron: Oh yeah um... well um Harry got sort of a wonky cross,
[checks the book]
Ron: that's 'trials and suffering'. And that there could be the sun and thats
[checks book again]
Ron: 'happiness'. So you're gonna suffer but you'll gonna be happy about it. (Chong Tommy)
Uncle Vernon: [shouts] You bring her back! You bring her back and put her right!
Harry: No! She deserved what she got!
[Vernon rushes angrily at Harry, but backs off when Harry raises his wand]
Harry: Keep away from me!
Uncle Vernon: You're not allowed to use magic outside school!
Harry: Yeah? Try me. (Chong Tommy)
Uncle Vernon: You don't have anywhere to go.
Harry: [angry] I don't care. Anywhere is better than here! (Chong Tommy)
Ron: Hermione, how did you get here? (Chong Tommy)
Professor Lupin: Eat this. It'll help. (Chong Tommy)
Harry: Why would I go looking for someone who wants to kill me? (Chong Tommy)
Professor Snape: Have you any theories as to how Black got in?
Dumbledore: Many, each as unlikely as the next. (Chong Tommy)
Stan Shunpike: Welcome to the Knight Bus, emergency transport for the stranded witch or wizard. My name is Stan Shunpike and I will be your conductor this evening. (Chong Tommy)
Harry: I knew I could do it because I already saw myself do it. Does that make any sense?
Hermione: No...
[Buckbeak dives]
Hermione: BUT I DON'T LIKE FLYING! (Chong Tommy)
Ron: There's something moving out there. (Chong Tommy)
Sirius Black: It's cruel that I got to spend so much time with James and Lily, and you so little. But remember, the ones who love us never truly leave us. They will always be found in here. (Chong Tommy)
Ron: [looking at Lupin who has just turned into a werewolf] Nice doggie... nice doggie... (Chong Tommy)
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