Shrek: Working hard? Or hardly working? (Coyote Peter)
Donkey: [running ahead of giant gingerbread man] Run, run as fast as you can! (Coyote Peter)
Donkey: [after turning back into a donkey] Aaaaaaw.
Shrek: You still look like a noble steed to me. (Coyote Peter)
Puss-in-Boots: [trying to convince Shrek not to neuter him] Please, no, por favor, por favor, please no, I implore you. I was doing it for my family! My mother she's sick and my father he lives off the garbage. The king offered me much money and I have a little brother... (Coyote Peter)
Donkey: I'm a stallion, baby! (Coyote Peter)
Donkey: [carriage runs over Donkey] Oh, God! help me, please! My racing days are over! I'm blind! I'm blind! Tell the truth. Will I ever be able to play the violin again? (Coyote Peter)
Donkey: [final line during the extra part in the credits] I'm going to have to get a job. (Coyote Peter)
Fairy Godmother: Your fallen tears have called to me, so here comes my sweet remedy. I know what every princess needs for her to live life happily. With... just a wave of my magic wand your troubles will soon be gone. With a flick of the wrist in just a flash, you land a prince with a ton of cash, A high priced dress made by mice no less! Some crystal glass pumps and almost dressed! Worries will vanish your soul will cleanse Confide in your very own furniture friends We'll help you set a new fashion trend! I'll make you fancy, I'll make you great! The kind of gal a prince would date They'll write your name on the bathroom wall MALE VOICE: For happy ever after- give Fiona a call! A sporty carriage to ride in style. A sexy man-boy chauffer Kyle. Vanish your blemishes, tooth decay... celulite thighs will fade away A hool and a hey! Have a Bichon Frise And oh, what the hey... have a Bichon Frise! Nip and tuck here and there, to land that prince with the perfect hair. Lipstick liners, shadow blush! to get that prince with a sexy tush. Lucky day, hunk buffet For the lipstick a roll in the hay You can spoon on the moon with the prince to this tune Don't be drab, you'll be fab Your prince will have rock-hard abs Cheese souflee Valentine's Day? Have some chicken fricassee - chorus (Coyote Peter)
Donkey: I don't wanna die...! I don't wanna DIE! Oh sweet sister mother of mercy... I'm melting...! I'm MEEELTIIING!
Shrek: It's just the rain, Donkey. (Coyote Peter)
Puss-in-Boots: Today, I repay my debt...
[soldiers surround Puss as he slowly draws his weapon]
Puss-in-Boots: En garde! (Coyote Peter)
Shrek: I'll kill that cat! (Coyote Peter)
Fairy Godmother: Remember, happiness is just a teardrop away... (Coyote Peter)
Donkey: Real smooth, Shrek. "I'm an ogre!"
[imitates Shrek growling] (Coyote Peter)
Donkey: It's gonna be champagne wishes and caviar dreams from now on. (Coyote Peter)
Donkey: You got a puppy? All I got in my room was shampoo. (Coyote Peter)
Gingerbread Man: I hate these ball shows. They bore me to tears! Flip over to Wheel of Torture.
Pinocchio: I'm not flipping anywhere, Sir, until I see Shrek and Fiona. (Coyote Peter)
[after being dropped into the middle of the ocean]
Ace Ventura: I am NOT an amphibian! I am a human being! (Coyote Peter)
[diving into the Nautilus' garbage chute]
Ace Ventura: Come on, Spike! Last one in's a rotten egg.
[pause]
Ace Ventura: And speaking of rotten eggs... are you making whoopie? Cushion? (Coyote Peter)
[after coming out of the garbage chute]
Ace Ventura: Woooo! Do NOT and I mean NOT in the worst possible way GO IN THERE! NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER! (Coyote Peter)
Mr. Shickadance, Jaques Du Monque: Guess what day it is today, Ventura?
Ace Ventura: Warthog day? Groundhog day?
Mr. Shickadance, Jaques Du Monque: Try rent day!
[Ace slams the door in Shickadance's face] (Coyote Peter)
Phatteus Lardus: So long, Mr Ventura! Rest... in PIECES! Muhahahhahahhahha! (Coyote Peter)
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