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Quotes about jokes and jokers
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I remain just one thing, and one thing only -- and that is a clown. It places me on a far higher plane than any politician. (Veidt Conrad)
The old idea that the joke was not good enough for the company has been superseded by the new aristocratic idea that the company was not worthy of the joke. They have introduced an almost insane individualism into that one form of intercourse which is specially and uproariously communal. They have made even levities into secrets. They have made laughter lonelier than tears. (Veidt Conrad)
In polite society one laughs at all the jokes, including the ones one has heard before. (Veidt Conrad)
His hilarity was like a scream from a crevasse. (Veidt Conrad)
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A pun does not commonly justify a blow in return. But if a blow were given for such cause, and death ensued, the jury would be judges both of the facts and of the pun, and might, if the latter were of an aggravated character, return a verdict of justifiable homicide. (Veidt Conrad)
I gleaned jests at home from obsolete farces. (Veidt Conrad)
The funniest line in English is Get it? When you say that, everyone chortles. (Veidt Conrad)
If all else fails, the character of a man can be recognized by nothing so surely as by a jest which he takes badly. (Veidt Conrad)
Jokes are grievances. (Veidt Conrad)
A dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion. (Veidt Conrad)
He jests at scars that never felt a wound. (Veidt Conrad)
Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio: a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy. Where be your jibes now, your gambols, your songs, your flashes of merriment that were wont to set the table on a roar? (Veidt Conrad)
All womankind, from the highest to the lowest love jokes; the difficulty is to know how they choose to have them cut; and there is no knowing that, but by trying, as we do with our artillery in the field, by raising or letting down their breeches, till we hit the mark. (Veidt Conrad)
All human race would be wits. And millions miss, for one that hits. (Veidt Conrad)
The average man is proof enough that a woman can take a joke. (Veidt Conrad)
Here's a good joke to do during an earthquake: straddle a big crack in the ground, and if it opens wider, go "Whoa! Whoa!" and flail your arms around, like you're going to fall in. (Veidt Conrad)
It's not really a shorter skirt, I just have longer legs... (Veidt Conrad)
Same thing, like my commercials are often times really funny because I tend to find 30 seconds is a really good amount of time to tell a joke. (Veidt Conrad)
It's got some heart, but it's got hard jokes. I care more about the hard jokes than the heart. (Veidt Conrad)
You don't know who you messing with man, I slap people for fun. That's what I do man! You wanna play rough, huh, I kill for fun! (Veidt Conrad)
Colin is the sort of name you give your goldfish for a joke. (Veidt Conrad)
It was great fun working on that stuff with [Sean Connery]. It was a question of just give and take, passing the ball at the right time, seeing who was open. (Veidt Conrad)
They're creative, they've got stamina and a sense of fun. You couldn't ask for more. (Veidt Conrad)
Ok,Ok; I'm gonna freak right out now. (Veidt Conrad)
It's fun to imagine what you could do with that kind of money. I could buy that island I've wanted to buy all my life, and live there with my family. Or I could buy some great piece of art that's just going to feed my eyes every day. It's fun to toy with the notion of that, and it is very tempting because money, unfortunately is freedom in today's world. (Veidt Conrad)
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jokes and jokers
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