Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman

Henny Youngman

I have all the money I'll ever need - if I die by 4 today.More Henny Youngman [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop. -Henny Youngman.More Henny Youngman [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow, sleep late.More Henny Youngman [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.More Henny Youngman [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.More Henny Youngman [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.More Henny Youngman [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.More Henny Youngman [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
I love Christmas. I receive a lot of wonderful presents I can't wait to exchange.More Henny Youngman [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.More Henny Youngman [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.More Henny Youngman [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock.More Henny Youngman [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
You have a nice personality, but not for a human being.More Henny Youngman [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.More Henny Youngman [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.More Henny Youngman [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
A Jewish woman had two chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup out of the other one to help the sick one get well.More Henny Youngman [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.More Henny Youngman [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
How to drive a guy crazy: send him a telegram and on the top put 'page 2.'More Henny Youngman [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.More Henny Youngman [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.More Henny Youngman [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
I played a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him.More Henny Youngman [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.More Henny Youngman [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays.More Henny Youngman [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
This man used to go to school with his dog. Then they were separated. His dog graduated!More Henny Youngman [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
My son complains about headaches. I tell him all the time, when you get out of bed, it's feet first!More Henny Youngman [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.More Henny Youngman [03/29/2018 05:03:36]

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