Movie: The Blues Brothers [1980] Movie: The Blues Brothers [1980]

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Movie: The Blues Brothers [1980] Movie: The Blues Brothers [1980]

[Sister Mary Stigmata hits Elwood with her stick]



Elwood:
Ow, you fat penguin!

More Movie: The Blues Brothers [1980] Movie: The Blues Brothers [1980] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Jake:
Ya see, me and the Lord have an understanding.

More Movie: The Blues Brothers [1980] Movie: The Blues Brothers [1980] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Curtis:
Boys, you got to learn not to talk to nuns that way.

More Movie: The Blues Brothers [1980] Movie: The Blues Brothers [1980] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Mrs. Murphy:
Help you two?



Elwood:
Do you have any white bread ma'am?



Mrs. Murphy:
Yeah.



Elwood:
I'll have some toasted white bread please.



Mrs. Murphy:
You want butter or jam on that, honey?



Elwood:
No ma'am, dry.



Jake:
Do you have any fried chicken ma'am?



Mrs. Murphy:
Best damned chicken in the state.



Jake:
Bring me four fried chickens and a Coke.



Mrs. Murphy:
You want chicken wings or chicken legs?



Jake:
Four fried chickens and a Coke.



Elwood:
And some dry white toast please.



Mrs. Murphy:
Ya'all want anything to drink with that?



Elwood:
No ma'am.



Jake:
A Coke.



Mrs. Murphy:
Be right back.

More Movie: The Blues Brothers [1980] Movie: The Blues Brothers [1980] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Elwood:
Illinois Nazis.



Jake:
I hate Illinois Nazis.

More Movie: The Blues Brothers [1980] Movie: The Blues Brothers [1980] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Elwood:
The light was yellow, sir.

More Movie: The Blues Brothers [1980] Movie: The Blues Brothers [1980] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[Jake Blues is released on parole and gets back all the things he wore when he was arrested]



Corrections Officer:
One Timex digital watch, broken. One unused prophylactic.


[looks disgusted, picks something up with his pen]



Corrections Officer:
One soiled. One black suit jacket, one pair black suit pants. One hat


[punches it back out to full]



Corrections Officer:
black. One pair of sunglasses. $23.07. Sign here.

More Movie: The Blues Brothers [1980] Movie: The Blues Brothers [1980] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[Elwood Blues Jake Blues has a fight over the police car Elwood Blues got after he traded away the original bluesmobile for a microphone]



Elwood:
You don't like it?



Jake:
No I don't like it...


[Elwood Blues floors the pedal and jumps over an open drawbridge]



Jake:
Car's got a lot of pickup.



Elwood:
It's got a cop motor, a 440 cubic inch plant, it's got cop tires, cop suspensions, cop shocks. It's a model made before catalytic converters so it'll run good on regular gas. What do you say, is it the new Bluesmobile or what?


[a brief thinking pause while Jake attempts to light a cigarette]



Jake:
Fix the cigarette lighter.

More Movie: The Blues Brothers [1980] Movie: The Blues Brothers [1980] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[while standing at the entrance to the Triple Rock church watching the service with much dancing and Hallelujah choruses, a heavenly light shines down on Jake and he has an epiphany]



Jake:
The band... the band...



Reverend Cleophus James:
DO YOU SEE THE LIGHT?



Jake:
THE BAND!



Reverend Cleophus James:
DO YOU SEE THE LIGHT?



Elwood:
What light?



Reverend Cleophus James:
HAVE YOU SEEEEN THE LIGHT?



Jake:
YES! YES! JESUS H. TAP-DANCING CHRIST... I HAVE SEEN THE LIGHT!

More Movie: The Blues Brothers [1980] Movie: The Blues Brothers [1980] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Reverend Cleophus James:
Praise God!



Elwood:
And God bless the United States of America!

More Movie: The Blues Brothers [1980] Movie: The Blues Brothers [1980] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Jake:
How often does the train go by?



Elwood:
So often that you won't even notice it.

More Movie: The Blues Brothers [1980] Movie: The Blues Brothers [1980] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Elwood:
Oh no.



Jake:
What the fuck was that?



Elwood:
The motor. We've thrown a rod.



Jake:
Is that serious?



Elwood:
Yup.

More Movie: The Blues Brothers [1980] Movie: The Blues Brothers [1980] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Donald 'Duck' Dunn:
We had a band powerful enough to turn goat piss into gasoline.

More Movie: The Blues Brothers [1980] Movie: The Blues Brothers [1980] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[to man in restaurant]



Jake:
[fakes accent] How much for the little girl? How much for the women?



Father:
What?



Jake:
Your women. I want to buy your women. The little girl, your daughters... sell them to me. Sell me your children.

More Movie: The Blues Brothers [1980] Movie: The Blues Brothers [1980] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Mrs. Tarantino:
Are you the police?



Elwood:
No, ma'am. We're musicians.

More Movie: The Blues Brothers [1980] Movie: The Blues Brothers [1980] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[after a burst of gunfire from the Mystery Woman, Jake climbs to his feet, covered in mud from the tunnel floor]



Jake:
It's good to see you, sweetheart.



Mystery Woman:
You contemptible pig! I remained celibate for you. I stood at the back of a cathedral, waiting, in celibacy, for you, with three hundred friends and relatives in attendance. My uncle hired the best Romanian caterers in the state. To obtain the seven limousines for the wedding party, my father used up his last favor with Mad Pete Trullo. So for me, for my mother, my grandmother, my father, my uncle, and for the common good, I must now kill you, and your brother.


[Jake falls to his knees]



Jake:
Oh, please, don't kill us. Please, please don't kill us. You know I love you baby. I wouldn't leave ya. It wasn't my fault.



Mystery Woman:
You miserable slug! You think you can talk your way out of this? You betrayed me.



Jake:
No I didn't. Honest... I ran out of gas. I, I had a flat tire. I didn't have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn't come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from out of town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake. A terrible flood. Locusts. IT WASN'T MY FAULT, I SWEAR TO GOD.


[Elwood covers his head in anticipation of more gunfire, Jake removes his sunglasses to make a wordless appeal, and the Mystery Woman visibly softens]



Mystery Woman:
Oh, Jake... Jake, honey...


[Jake embraces the Mystery Woman and they kiss]



Jake:
[to Elwood] Let's go.


[He drops the Mystery Woman and walks off]



Elwood:
[to the Mystery Woman as he steps past her] Take it easy.

More Movie: The Blues Brothers [1980] Movie: The Blues Brothers [1980] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Curtis:
Well, the Sister was right. You boys could use a little churching up. Slide on down to the Triple Rock, and catch Rev. Cleophus. You boys listen to what he's got to say.



Jake:
Curtis, I don't want to listen to no jive-ass preacher talking to me about Heaven and Hell.



Curtis:
Jake, you get wise. You get to church.

More Movie: The Blues Brothers [1980] Movie: The Blues Brothers [1980] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Jake:
[to Sister Mary Stigmata] Five grand? No problem, we'll have it for you in the morning. Let's go, Elwood.



Sister Mary Stigmata:
No, no! I will not take your filthy stolen money!



Jake:
Well then... I guess you're really up Shit Creek.


[Sister Mary Stigmata hits Jake Blues with a ruler for using that kind of language]



Sister Mary Stigmata:
I beg your pardon, what did you say?



Jake:
I offered to help you... You refused to take our money. Then I said: I guess you're really up Shit Creek.


[Sister Mary Stigmata hits Jake Blues with the ruler again]



Elwood:
Christ, Jake. Take it easy man.


[Sister Mary Stigmata hits Elwood Blues]



Jake:
Oh shit!


[Sister Mary Stigmata hits Jake Blues]



Elwood:
Jesus Christ!


[Sister Mary Stigmata hits Elwood Blues]



Jake:
Shit!

More Movie: The Blues Brothers [1980] Movie: The Blues Brothers [1980] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Jake:
You were outside, I was inside. You were supposed to keep in touch with the band. I kept asking you if we were gonna play again.



Elwood:
What was I gonna do? Take away your only hope? Take away the very thing that kept you going in there? I took the liberty of bullshitting you.



Jake:
You lied to me.



Elwood:
Wasn't lies, it was just... bullshit.

More Movie: The Blues Brothers [1980] Movie: The Blues Brothers [1980] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[Elwood Blues has just passed on a red light, and a police car rolls up behind them. The words are said in the same rhythm as a blues song ("Soothe Me") on the car stereo]



Elwood:
Shit.



Jake:
What?



Elwood:
Rollers...



Jake:
No.



Elwood:
Yeah.



Jake:
Shit.

More Movie: The Blues Brothers [1980] Movie: The Blues Brothers [1980] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Elwood:
Our Lady of Blessed Acceleration, don't fail us now.

More Movie: The Blues Brothers [1980] Movie: The Blues Brothers [1980] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Jake:
First you traded the Cadillac in for a microphone. Then you lied to me about the band. And now you're gonna put me right back in the joint!



Elwood:
They're not gonna catch us. We're on a mission from God.

More Movie: The Blues Brothers [1980] Movie: The Blues Brothers [1980] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[while they are driving around in the shopping mall with 2 police cars on their tail]



Elwood:
Baby clothes...



Jake:
This place has got everything.

More Movie: The Blues Brothers [1980] Movie: The Blues Brothers [1980] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[repeated line]



Elwood:
We're on a mission from God.

More Movie: The Blues Brothers [1980] Movie: The Blues Brothers [1980] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Mrs. Murphy:
Don't you "don't get all riled, sugar" me! You ain't goin' back out on the road and you ain't playin' them old two-bit sleazy dives. You're livin' with me now, and y'ain't gonna go slidin' around witcho ol' white hoodlum friends.



Matt Murphy:
But babes, this is Jake and Elwood. The Blues Brothers.



Mrs. Murphy:
The Blues Brothers? Shiiit! They still owe you money, fool.



Jake:
Ma'am, would it make you feel any better if we told you that what we're asking Matthew to do is a holy thing?



Elwood:
You see, we're on a mission from God.



Mrs. Murphy:
Don't you blaspheme in here! Don't you blaspheme in here! This is my man, this is my restaurant, and you two are gonna turn around and walk right out of here - without your dry white toast, without your four fried chickens, and without Matt 'Guitar' Murphy!

More Movie: The Blues Brothers [1980] Movie: The Blues Brothers [1980] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]

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