Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx

Groucho Marx

There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of ones fellow man.More Groucho Marx [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife.More Groucho Marx [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
I worked myself up from nothing to extreme poverty.More Groucho Marx [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
Look at me. I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.More Groucho Marx [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
No man goes before his time -- unless the boss leaves early.More Groucho Marx [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.More Groucho Marx [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.More Groucho Marx [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. The recipes were to be the routine ones: how to make dry toast, instant coffee, hearts of lettuce and brownies. But as an added attraction, at no extra charge, my idea was to put a fried egg on the cover. I think a lot of people who hate literature but love fried eggs would buy it if the price was right.More Groucho Marx [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.More Groucho Marx [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.More Groucho Marx [07/10/2011 04:07:58]
A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.More Groucho Marx [07/10/2011 04:07:05]
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.More Groucho Marx [07/10/2011 04:07:12]
A man's only as old as the woman he feels.More Groucho Marx [07/10/2011 04:07:19]
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smokeMore Groucho Marx [07/10/2011 04:07:26]
Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.More Groucho Marx [07/10/2011 04:07:41]
All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.More Groucho Marx [07/10/2011 04:07:46]
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.More Groucho Marx [07/10/2011 04:07:55]
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.More Groucho Marx [07/10/2011 04:07:19]
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.More Groucho Marx [07/10/2011 04:07:29]
Humor is reason gone mad.More Groucho Marx [07/10/2011 04:07:48]
I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.More Groucho Marx [07/10/2011 04:07:54]
I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.More Groucho Marx [07/10/2011 04:07:01]
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.More Groucho Marx [07/10/2011 04:07:07]
I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.More Groucho Marx [07/10/2011 04:07:18]
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.More Groucho Marx [07/10/2011 04:07:25]

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Quotes of the month

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