Movie: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo [2005] Movie: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo [2005]

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Movie: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo [2005] Movie: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo [2005]

T.J. Hicks: Did you know Holland invented chicken and waffles?
Deuce Bigalow: Really?
T.J. Hicks: Before that you could get chicken or waffles, but they were the first to put them together! Black people all over the world will be forever grateful to the Dutch for that.
Deuce Bigalow: You know the Dutch started the slave trade.
T.J. Hicks: THOSE MOTHER FUCKERS!More Movie: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo [2005] Movie: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo [2005] [08/26/2007 12:08:00]
Chadsworth Buckingham, III: [asking gigolos about their night] And you Assapopolis
Assapopoulos Mariolis: I got the herpes. What're you gonna do, heh.
Chadsworth Buckingham, III: [rips off band-aid] Liar! And what about you Mahmoud?
Mahmoud: Uh, I just realized... I'm gay. Does anyone want a blow job?
Dutch Gigolo: I do.
Mahmoud: Ok then. I guess I should go put that penis in my mouth.More Movie: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo [2005] Movie: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo [2005] [08/26/2007 12:08:00]
Eva: Before I can go on a date I have to eat 2 herring, collect 5 different tulips and drink a beer from a wooden shoe.
Deuce Bigalow: That's do-able!More Movie: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo [2005] Movie: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo [2005] [08/26/2007 12:08:00]
Wealthy Woman in Car: [pulls up in a car] Hey guys! I need a quick gigolo fix. What do you say?
Enzo Giarraputo: Ahh. I'm judging a sand castle building competition this afternoon so... i cant help you.
Mahmoud: Ahh... The dog ate my... Penis.More Movie: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo [2005] Movie: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo [2005] [08/26/2007 12:08:00]
T.J. Hicks: You like them big hairy balls dont ya?
T.J. Hicks: Ah you pussy get off of me, get off of me!More Movie: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo [2005] Movie: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo [2005] [08/26/2007 12:08:00]
T.J. Hicks: That is Assapopoulos, he can kiss people with his butt whole
Deuce Bigalow: I don't ever wanna see that.More Movie: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo [2005] Movie: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo [2005] [08/26/2007 12:08:00]
T.J. Hicks: I'm in blackface. It's my disguise. See?
Deuce Bigalow: But you look the same.
T.J. Hicks: Are you saying black people all look the same? You are such a racist! I should have the good mind not to let you help me prove that I'm innocent.More Movie: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo [2005] Movie: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo [2005] [08/26/2007 12:08:00]
Deuce Bigalow: This shirt will make a great ice-breaker.
Angry European: Fuck you American, you imperialistic dog!
Pro American Woman: I love America, I love President Bush. Thank you for bringing democracy to Iraq.
Angry European: Shut *up*!More Movie: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo [2005] Movie: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo [2005] [08/26/2007 12:08:00]
[as he is being arrested]
Gaspar Voorsboch: I will see you again, man-whore!More Movie: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo [2005] Movie: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo [2005] [08/26/2007 12:08:00]
Gaspar Voorsboch: [Gaspar points a sword at Deuce] I have never been able to satisfy a Woman, and I will see to it that they don't either!
Deuce Bigalow: [They both start sword fighting] No, you don't have to do this Gaspar, because you CAN please a Woman, and besides, do you really think what a Woman REALLY wants is for a man to give her a "Mud Pretzel", a "Turkish Snowcone", or even an "Irish Facial", Women don't really care about all that, all a Woman ever really wants, is a Man who asks about her day, or how she feels, or atleast pretends to. Women also don't really care if you're... rich, or have a gigantic schlong like... Heinz Hummer, and when she's sad, cry with her.More Movie: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo [2005] Movie: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo [2005] [08/26/2007 12:08:00]
Deuce Bigalow: There you are, T.J.
T.J. Hicks: How did you know I was here?
Deuce Bigalow: Well, this seemed like the only Chicken, and Waffles place in all of Holland.
T.J. Hicks: So, you're saying that Black people have to go to a Chicken, and Waffles place, damn White boy, that's Racist!
Deuce Bigalow: But you're here.
T.J. Hicks: Yeah, but figuring it out was Racist.
Deuce Bigalow: [Noticing all the Black People] This is a really nice place.More Movie: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo [2005] Movie: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo [2005] [08/26/2007 12:08:00]
Deuce Bigalow: We're gonna prove that you didn't kill anyone.
T.J. Hicks: I don't give a damn about that. It's the "extremely gay" part that's bothering me. I mean, if I'm a murderer, they'll welcome me home with open arms. Get out of jail and become a huge rapper. But a gay pimp? Like, where am I going? Vermont?More Movie: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo [2005] Movie: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo [2005] [08/26/2007 12:08:00]
T.J. Hicks: I ain't gay! I was just looking down his pants 'cause i heard his shlong was so big, and juicy! No wait! That didn't sound right!More Movie: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo [2005] Movie: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo [2005] [08/26/2007 12:08:00]
Tourist: I'm from Canada and I'm wasted!More Movie: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo [2005] Movie: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo [2005] [08/26/2007 12:08:00]
T.J. Hicks: Can't a brother put his hand down another man's pants without setting off the faggot alarm?More Movie: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo [2005] Movie: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo [2005] [08/26/2007 12:08:00]
[Frenchman is blowing smoke in Deuce's face at an aquarium in Amsterdam]
Deuce Bigalow: Excuse me, but in America, we don't allow smoking in aquariums.
Frenchman: Excuse me, but in Europe, we don't unilaterally invade another country just to steal their oil!More Movie: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo [2005] Movie: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo [2005] [08/26/2007 12:08:00]
T.J. Hicks: [after Deuce is biting T.J.'s nipple while high on space cake] Get off my tittie, you doped up cracker!More Movie: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo [2005] Movie: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo [2005] [08/26/2007 12:08:00]
T.J. Hicks: Anybody got some antibacterial gel? I got burnt dick on my hand.More Movie: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo [2005] Movie: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo [2005] [08/26/2007 12:08:00]
T.J. Hicks: We'll find the killer using your twat-sicle.More Movie: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo [2005] Movie: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo [2005] [08/26/2007 12:08:00]
Heinz Hummer: I am Heinz Hummer. I'm the gigolo with the most below. Okay? I can give you a Filthy Lopez like you never had before. I could give you a Cambodian Creamsicle... that will make you scream all night. Okay? But not now because I'm busy. So leave me alone, bitch.More Movie: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo [2005] Movie: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo [2005] [08/26/2007 12:08:00]
Security Guard: Um, Excuse me sir, but this is a Private Club, Manwhores only.
Lil' Kim: Hey, I'm a real GOOD Manwhore, just go ask yo Mamma.
Security Guard: STILL, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.
Lil' Kim: And that's what yo Momma said after I bang her!
Lil' Kim: [starts laughing hysterically]
Security Guard: O.k., that's it.
Security Guard: [Tosses Lil' Kim in the dumpster]
Lil' Kim: Hey, yo MAMMA's in here!More Movie: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo [2005] Movie: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo [2005] [08/26/2007 12:08:00]
Deuce Bigalow: [T.J. just came out of Jail] Hey, did anyone hurt you in there?
T.J. Hicks: Oh, you're asking if I got ass-pumped, is what's goin on here?
Deuce Bigalow: Not if you don't want to talk about it.
T.J. Hicks: Well, you see, it turns out that I'm not really... that attractive.
Deuce Bigalow: Well, you've been cleared of murder, but people still think you're gay.
T.J. Hicks: Hey, don't tell nobody I'm not gay, I mean, just think of it; T.J., the Gay mans Pimp, and I'm the corner Market man, check out my new bitches.
[a bunch of gay people stare, and wave at T.J]
Deuce Bigalow: O.k. then, lets go grab some chicken, and Waffles, my treat.
T.J. Hicks: Man, you said the first thing a black man wants when he gets out of jail.More Movie: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo [2005] Movie: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo [2005] [08/26/2007 12:08:00]
Angry European: [while throwing stones at the Frenchman] Fuck off, you Yank!More Movie: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo [2005] Movie: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo [2005] [08/26/2007 12:08:00]
Norms Son: Um, Daddy, I was looking through your underwear drawer, and I found this really cool bracelet.
Earl McManus: Oh God, that's not a bracelet son, that there is a device that your Daddy has to put on his hee... his... hee... happy birthday son, you got a bracelet!
Norms Son: Cool.More Movie: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo [2005] Movie: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo [2005] [08/26/2007 12:08:00]
Gaspar Voorsboch: [Points a sword towards Deuce] You don't understand, those Gigalos... robbed me of my manhood, and I was never able to satisfy a Woman, so I shall see to it, that they don't either.
Deuce Bigalow: Wait, you don't have to do this Gaspar, because you CAN please a Woman, these Gigalos... don't know what they're talking about.
Chadsworth Buckingham, III: Is he talking about us?
Deuce Bigalow: ...and besides, do you think all a Woman really wants is for some man to give her a Mud-Pretzel, Turkish Snow Cone, or an Irish... Facial?
Chadsworth Buckingham, III: YES they DO!More Movie: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo [2005] Movie: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo [2005] [08/26/2007 12:08:00]

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