A black man finds the ID of Leonardo Di Caprio on the ground. He takes it and goes away. Some days later he is stopped by the police while driving like crazy on a city road.
They ask him his ID and, to avoid unnecessary problems, he gives them the ID he found on the ground.
The officer looks at the ID and back to the man. He reads aloud: "Name: Leonardo, last name: Di Caprio." He looks at the driver, a bit perplexed.
"Hair: blonde, eyes: blue." Looks at him again. Then the cop calls his colleague and asks him: "Hey Bob, did the Titanic sink or burn?"More Leonardo DiCaprio [01/02/2018 12:01:02]
A black man dies and is greeted by St. Peter at the pearly gates. "What's your name?"----
"Leonardo DiCrapio" says the black man
St. Peter stares at him for a minute and asks " I'm sorry , what's your name?"---
The black man tells him his name again "Leonardo DiCaprio"---
"Hold on one second" says St. Peter.
He calls God. " Excuse me sir, can you remind me again, did the Titanic sink, or burn?"More Leonardo DiCaprio [01/02/2018 12:01:02]
A Black guy arrives at Heavens Gates... The man is worried that due to his race, they might discriminate and not let him in. So when he walks up to the pearly gates he decides that at the very least, to better his chances to get in, he can change his name to that of a white person.
"Name?" asks St. Peter
The man searches for a name in his mind and finally lands on one.
St. Peter gives a stern look at the man and asks for his real name.
The man gives him the same response and St Peter squints his eyes, not quite convinced.
"Give me a second, I've got to make a call to the man upstairs"
St Peter turns around and pulls out a phone, dialling for God. The phone rings a couple times before a deep voice asks what's up.
St Peter replies, "Quick question sir, did the Titanic sink? Or did it burn?"
*My grandpa gave me this joke in Spanish, thought it would work nicely in English and yes I know dicaprio didn't actually ride the titanic.* More Leonardo DiCaprio [01/02/2018 12:01:02]
Considering Leonardo DiCaprio might win an Oscar tomorrow... 1. Leonardo DiCaprio? More like Leonardo NoOscaro.
2. Best actor category? More like the not Leo club.
3. I typed in 'Leonardo DiCaprio's Oscar' into google and it said 'Did you mean if hell freezes over?'
4. I heard Leo thought he had won an Oscar for Inception, but then he realized he was just dreaming.
5. The only way Leo can win an Oscar is if Steve Harvey is hosting.
Thanks for bearing through that, much like Leonardo DiCaprio had to in his last movie. (I'll be here all night, and much of tomorrow)More Leonardo DiCaprio [01/02/2018 12:01:02]
When I'm feeling down. I just remind myself that I've won just as many Oscars as Leonardo DicaprioMore Leonardo DiCaprio [01/02/2018 12:01:02]
(Spoiler) TIL in The Revnant Leonardo DiCaprio's sleep number is one dead Indian son. More Leonardo DiCaprio [01/02/2018 12:01:02]
What's pretty and expensive but has no use? Leonardo DiCaprio's Oscar shelf.More Leonardo DiCaprio [01/02/2018 12:01:02]
Leo's First Oscar Leonardo DiCaprio in the delivery room.
Leo: "What is it doc?!"
Doctor: "It's a bo-"
Leo: "NO! NO! LIKE WE REHEARSED!"
*Doctor sighs, handing the baby boy to Leo*
Doctor: "And the "Oscar" goes to Leonardo DiCaprio for the role of Father in Conception.More Leonardo DiCaprio [01/02/2018 12:01:02]
The policemen, the driver and the Titanic Two policemen stopped a Ferrari for a routine check.
Inside the car were a distinct black man, with curly black hair and raven black eyes.
- "Documents please ... "
The driver shows his license and registration certificate.
The patrol leader reads:
- "Name: Leonardo"
Amazed, he looks at the driver.
- "Last Name: DiCaprio"
Even more astonished,he looks again at the driver.
- "Blue eyes, blonde hair ..."
Now, turning to his colleague:
- "Hey Jim, did the Titanic sink or burn?"More Leonardo DiCaprio [01/02/2018 12:01:02]
A bloke bumped in to me on the tube the other day and said, "Remember Leonardo Di Caprio." Then the same fella followed me home from the pub and said, "Remember Leonardo Di Caprio."
Things then got out of hand when he tapped on my window at 11.30 that night and said, "Remember Leonardo Di Caprio."
I thought, "That's it, I'm going to the Police."
I told the officer I was being stalked and he asked if I could tell him anything about the man.
I said, "Yes, he reminds me of Leonardo Di Caprio."
More Leonardo DiCaprio [01/02/2018 12:01:02]
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