List of Jokes

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Q: How do you drown a blonde?A: You put a scratch 'n sniff sticker on the bottom of the pool.More [01/02/2018 12:01:02]
A cowboy is riding across the plains of the old west, when he is captured by Indians. The tribe puts him on trial for crimes against the Indian Nation, and he is found guilty. "You have been sentenced to death," said the Chief, "but, as is our custom, you have three wishes to make as your last requests." The cowboy thought for a minute and said, "Well, for my first wish, I'll need my horse." "Give him his horse," said the Chief. The cowboy whispered something into the horse's ear, and the horse took off like a shot across the prairie. Twenty minutes later, the horse returned with a beautiful blonde woman on its back. The cowboy looked at this, shrugged his shoulders, and helped the young lady off the horse. He then took her into the woods and had his way with her. "Second wish," said the Chief. "I'll need my horse again," said the cowboy. "Give him his horse," said the Chief. Once again, the cowboy whispered into the horse's ear, and once again the horse rode off over the prairie. Thirty minutes later, the horse returned with a beautiful brunette on its back. The cowboy looked up and shrugged, helped the young lady off the horse, and went into the woods, same reason as before. "This is your last wish," said the Chief, "make it a good one." "I'll need my horse again." "Give him his horse," said the Chief. The cowboy grabbed each side of the horse's head, and put his face right up to the horse's. "You stupid horse, I said POSSE!"More [01/02/2018 12:01:02]
If a turtle loses his shell, is it naked or homeless?More [01/02/2018 12:01:02]
A moron walks into a bar with a pile of dog crap in his hands and says, "Hey guys, look what I almost stepped in."More [01/02/2018 12:01:02]
There was this Christian lady that had to do a lot of traveling for her business so she did a lot of flying.But flying made her nervous so she always took her Bible along with her to read and it helped relax her. One time she was sitting next to a man.When he saw her pull out her Bible he gave a little chuckle and went back to what he was doing.After awhile he turned to her and asked "You don't really believe all that stuff in there do you?"The lady replied "Of course I do.It is the Bible."He said "Well what about that guy that was swallowed by that whale?She replied "Oh, Jonah.Yes I believe that, it is in the Bible.He asked "Well, how do you suppose he survived all that time inside the whale?"The lady said "Well I don't really know.I guess when I get to heaven I will ask him.""What if he isn't in heaven?" the man asked sarcastically."Then you can ask him."replied the lady.More [01/02/2018 12:01:02]
From Actual Church BulletinsMore [01/02/2018 12:01:02]
Signs You Are "Webbed Out" From Using The Web: Your opening line is, "So what's your home page address?Your best friend is someone you've never met.You see a beautiful sunset and you expect to see "Enhanced for IE 5.5" on the clouds.You are overcome with disbelief, anger and finally depressed when you encounter a Web page with no links.You feel driven to consult the "Cool Page of the Day" on your wedding day.You are driving on a dark and rainy night when you hydroplane on a puddle, sending your car careening toward a flimsy guard rail that separates you from the precipice of a rocky cliff and certain death. You frantically search for the "Back" button.You visit "The Really Big Button that doesn't do Anything" again and again and again.Your dog has his own Web page.So does your goldfish.When you read a magazine, you have an irresistible urge to click on the underlined passages.You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a word processor.comYou turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.You start introducing yourself as "Jon at I-I Net dot com"Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you of what she looks like.All of your friends have an @ in their names.You can't call your mother...she doesn't have a modem.Your phone bill comes to your doorstep in a box.You laugh at people with 2400 baud modems.You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before you landscape.You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.You tell the cab driver you live at http://123.elm.street/house/bluetrim.htmlYour spouse makes a new rule: "The computer cannot come to bed."You ask a plumber how much it would cost to replace the chair in front of your computer with a commode.You start tilting your head sideways to smile. :^)You turn on your computer, and turn off your spouse.Your spouse says communication is important in a marriage...so you buy another computer, and install a second phone line so the two of you can chat.You begin to wonder how on earth your service provider is allowed to call 200 hours per month "unlimited."More [01/02/2018 12:01:02]
You may be a redneck if:Your porch collapses and more than six dogs dieYou mow your lawn and find a carYou consider a family reunion as a chance to meet "Ms. Right"You grab your boots a jacket and a flashlight to go to the bathroomYour idea of "safe sex" is locking the car doorMore [01/02/2018 12:01:02]
A man went to an eye specialist to get his eyes tested and asked, "Doctor, will I be able to read after wearing glasses?" "Yes, of course," said the doctor, "why not!" "Oh! How nice it would be ," said the patient with joy, "I've been illiterate for so long."More [01/02/2018 12:01:02]
Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks. Then they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat.The owner became quite concerned and marched over and told them, "You can't eat your own sandwiches in here!"The attorneys looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders and then exchanged sandwiches.More [01/02/2018 12:01:02]

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Quotes of the month

Author Unknown Know your worth and be in demand! [06/18/2022 03:06:22] More


Peter Navarro No one should be surprised just because somebody isn't successful 100 percent of the time. [06/08/2022 10:06:05] More


Author Unknown When everyone around is to blame, you need to look for a mirror. [06/12/2022 09:06:56] More


Vladislav Bozhidai The longer you visit the fairy tale, the more painful the return home... [05/31/2022 02:05:33] More


Peter Navarro If you've been to China, you know there are over 100 cities in China, and the pollution levels are just horrific - 60,000 people a year die in Chinese factories and facilities, because they don't have any safety regulations. It's a carnage; it's Dickensian. [06/08/2022 10:06:14] More