Tiger Woods

Tiger Woods

Golf star, 14-time winner of the tournament, "Major"
I'm not as far along as Jack Nicklaus was at this age, but I'm trying.More Tiger Woods quotes [07/20/2011 05:07:52]
The joy I get from winning a major championship doesn't even compare to the feeling I get when a kid writes a letter saying: 'Thank you so much. You have changed my life.'More Tiger Woods quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
I love to play golf, and that's my arena. And you can characterize it and describe it however you want, but I have a love and a passion for getting that ball in the hole and beating those guys.More Tiger Woods quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
I have not been true to my values and the behavior my family deserves.More Tiger Woods quotes [03/12/2018 02:03:32]
My main focus is on my game.More Tiger Woods quotes [01/01/2000 12:01:00]

A couple was on their honeymoon....
lying in bed, about ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, "I have a confession to make, I'm not a virgin."

The husband replies, "That's no big thing in this day and age."

The wife continues, "Yeah, I've been with one guy."

"Oh yeah? Who was the guy?"

"Tiger Woods."

"Tiger Woods, the golfer?"

"Yeah."

"Well, he's rich, famous and handsome. I can see why you went to bed with him."

The husband and wife then make passionate love.

When they are done, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone.

"What are you doing?" asks the wife.

The husband says, "I'm hungry, I was going to call room service and get something to eat."

"Tiger wouldn't do that."

"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"

"He'd come back to bed and do it a second time."

The husband puts down the phone and goes back to bed to make love a second time.

When they finish, he gets up and goes over to the phone. "Now what are you doing?" she asks.

The husband says, "I'm still hungry so I was going to get room service to get something to eat."

"Tiger wouldn't do that."

"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"

"He'd come back to bed and do it again."

The guy slams down the phone, goes back to bed, and makes love one more time.

When they finish he's tired and beat. He drags himself over to the phone and starts to dial.

The wife asks, "Are you calling room service?"

"Hell no! I'm calling Tiger Woods, to find out what the par is for this damn hole."



More Jokes about Tiger Woods [01/02/2018 12:01:02]
One morning, Tiger Woods goes to his usual golf course to play a morning round of 18 and notices a black bear approaching him from the woods off the first tee. Alarmed, Tiger starts to retreat when the bear casually asks Tiger what he's doing. Having never spoken to a black bear before, Tiger was a little hesitant at first but upon realizing that the bear was not a threat he tries his best to explain the game of golf to this black bear. After learning that it is a game played competitively, the bear asks to be shown how to play and wants to place a friendly wager that he could beat Tiger. Confident in his abilities to beat a rookie golfer, let alone a black bear, Tiger agrees to a one hole playoff over a piece of Fruit Stripe gum. Tiger goes first and snacks a line drive straight down the middle of the fairway. The black bear then grabs a club but as he approaches the tee box he freezes, turns to Tiger and asks, "What do I do now?" Wanting to be fair, Tiger points to a tree off in the distance saying "See that tree over there, hit the ball just to the left of that on the short green grass." The bear then tees off and hits an incredibly accurate shot, landing within 5 yards of the area Tiger had told him to aim. When the bear goes to hit his second shot, he again asks what to do, to which Tiger responds by pointing to a pond separating the fairway from the green and tells the bear to land it just short of the water. Miraculously the black bear does the impossible a second time. Astonished, but still focused on winning the wager, Tiger hits an equally exceptional shot to land just ahead of the black bears second shot. Once more, the bear has to ask what the next step of the game is to which Tiger replies, "Ahh yes, you see the flag on the green over there? The object of the game is to get the ball into that small cup in the fewest number of shots." The black bear, furious at this point, replies, "WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST TELL ME THAT ON THE FIRST SHOT!"

Tl;dr: How Tiger lost his Stripes.More Jokes about Tiger Woods [01/02/2018 12:01:02]

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