Tiger Woods

Tiger Woods

Golf star, 14-time winner of the tournament, "Major"
You have to look at the past in order to learn from it and move on. I've done a lot of reflecting over the past year. And certainly, I've turned the corner and am looking more toward the future in a lot of ways.More Tiger Woods quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
For many my behavior has been a major disappointment, my behavior has caused considerable worry to my business partners, and everyone involved in my business, but most importantly to the young people we influence, I apologize.More Tiger Woods quotes [07/20/2011 04:07:09]
I have been fortunate to have my game peak at the right times.More Tiger Woods quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
I don't see myself as the Great Black Hope. I'm just a golfer who happens to be black and Asian. It doesn't matter whether they're white, black, brown or green.More Tiger Woods quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
I don’t want to become as good as I once was. I want to become better.More Tiger Woods quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
This guy meets 'the perfect girl' but when he asks her to marry him, she reveals that she used to date Tiger Woods and it's in the past and shouldn't ever be a problem in the future. He's level headed, can see that Woods is handsome, famous etc. so he's okay with it and moves forward.

Some months later, they get hitched and on the wedding night, he 'seals the deal' in the honeymoon suite, then promptly rolls over to make a phone call.

The bride says: "What are you doing?"
He says: "I'm gonna call room service, for a sandwich."
"Well," she says quite matter-of-fact-ly, "Tiger Woods wouldn't have done that..."
He raises his voice a bit: "WTF would Tiger have done!"
"He'd have another round," she says playfully.

He goes for another round and is completely famished and well worn, so he reaches out for the phone mid shunt and she pulls him up about it again:

"Who are you calling?"
"Room service," he replies, "would you like some replenishment, too?"
"I used to date Tiger Woods and that's not something he'd do."
"I'm sure we agreed this wouldn't come up..."
She cuts his elevated tone short with a tease: "He'd go for another round."

Exiting round three, the guy is so finished, he pulls the phone to the bed and starts dialling directly from his sweat soaked pillow.

"Who are you calling, now" she coos.
"Tiger Woods." He pants. "I'm going to ask him what's the par for this hole".More Jokes about Tiger Woods [01/02/2018 12:01:02]
What is the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods?
Santa stops at three hoes.More Jokes about Tiger Woods [01/02/2018 12:01:02]

Quotes of the month

Eugene Ryabyi The faceless person is not even seen under a magnifying glass. [10/21/2018 09:10:26] More

Anna Aronova Happiness is the ability to find small pleasures where no one notices them. [10/25/2018 12:10:45] More

Eugene Ryabyi In God's pocket is when one eats forbidden fruits in paradise without punishment. [11/10/2018 11:11:07] More

Anatoly Yurkin Time is a rip-off of eternity. [10/20/2018 04:10:21] More

Anna Aronova Sometimes people tell the truth, but it's hard to tell it from a lie.- [10/27/2018 07:10:03] More