George Carlin

George Carlin

was an American stand-up comedian, social critic, actor and author, who won five Grammy Awards for his comedy albums.
I quit school in ninth grade, even though I was good at the studies. I knew I didn't need school for what I wanted.More George Carlin quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
If the reason for climbing Mt. Everest is that it's hard to do, why does everyone go up the easy side?More George Carlin quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Baseball is the only major sport that appears backwards in a mirror.More George Carlin quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
We now buy watches primarily for their looks, price, or additional functions. The fact that they tell time seems lost.More George Carlin quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
The habits of liberals, their automatic language, their knee-jerk responses to certain issues, deserved the epithets the right wing stuck them with. I'd see how true they often were. Here they were, banding together in packs, so I could predict what they were going to say about some event or conflict and it wasn't even out of their mouths yet. I was very uncomfortable with that. Liberal orthodoxy was as repugnant to me as conservative orthodoxy.More George Carlin quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Then realize that half of them are even stupider than that.

George CarlinMore Jokes about George Carlin [01/02/2018 12:01:02]
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HEAVEN AND HELL

by George Carlin

In HEAVEN . . .

The Italians are the lovers,

The French cook the food,

The Swiss run the hotels,

The Germans are the mechanics,

And the English are the police.


In HELL . . .


The Swiss are the lovers,

The English cook the food,

The French run the hotels,

The Italians are the mechanics,

And the Germans are the police!
More Jokes about George Carlin [01/02/2018 12:01:02]

Quotes of the month

Anatoly Yurkin Big Data is a digital home for any and all custom mistakes. (Anatoly Yurkin) [11/13/2018 06:11:52] More


Anatoly Yurkin How does blockchain progress technology raise a lot of questions, but Big Data stores even more answers, all the answers? [10/24/2018 12:10:59] More


Anatoly Yurkin Immortality is the brand under which time is sold out. [10/21/2018 08:10:39] More


Anatoly Yurkin Habib Nurmagomedov did not give an advantage in the ring, caused damage suffocating reception, but aphorist Conor McGregor won the octagon of mass culture. (Anatoly Yurkin) [11/06/2018 03:11:30] More


Eugene Ryabyi Stinginess is morbid frugality. [11/04/2018 06:11:12] More