George Carlin

George Carlin

was an American stand-up comedian, social critic, actor and author, who won five Grammy Awards for his comedy albums.
By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.More George Carlin quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Environmentalists changed the word jungle to rain forest, because no one would give them money to save a jungle. Same with swamps and wetlands.More George Carlin quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Catholic school gave me the tools to reject the very religion they wanted me to have. They taught me how to think for myself and to be independent.More George Carlin quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
An art thief is a man who takes pictures.More George Carlin quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Ah, to be a bird. To fly the skies, sing my song, and best of all occasionally peck someone's eyes out.More George Carlin quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
A guy runs a red light. His passenger tells him not to do that, but the driver says "It's okay, my brother drives like this!" He runs another red light. His passenger tries to insist, the driver says again "I told ya, it's okay, my brother drives like this!" Then he comes up to a green light and stops. His passenger asks what he's doing now and the driver says "Well, my brother might be coming the other way!"

-George Carlin, I don't remember what standup special. More Jokes about George Carlin [01/02/2018 12:01:02]
**George Carlin:** Do you realise, that right this second, right now somewhere around the world some guy is getting ready to kill himself. Isn't that great? Statistics show that every year a million people commit suicide. Thats 2800 a day. That's one every thirty seconds.


[Stares at watch]


**George Carlin:** There goes another guy! And I say guy because men are four times more likely than women to commit suicide, even though women attempt it more. So men are better at it. That's something else you gals oughta be working on. Well if you wanna be truly equal you're gonna have to start taking your lifes in greater numbers.More Jokes about George Carlin [01/02/2018 12:01:02]

Quotes of the month

Eugeny Antonuk A predictable victim for a criminal is a godsend. [09/03/2018 06:09:09] More


Eugeny Antonuk Convincing others, a person wants to convince himself that he convinces others. [09/14/2018 03:09:47] More


Galina Sukhovert Children's eyes are wide open to the world. Adults, at times, close from the world with black glasses. [08/26/2018 12:08:48] More


Anna Aronova Only smart people are able to notice and support someone else's wisdom.-AnnaIsAronova [08/24/2018 01:08:43] More


Eugeny Antonuk The fool is all in his inconsistency: then nothing is given to a fool by the reading of a sage, then all the same - a shadow under the sun. [08/31/2018 06:08:28] More