George Carlin

George Carlin

was an American stand-up comedian, social critic, actor and author, who won five Grammy Awards for his comedy albums.
If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole airplane made out of that stuff?More George Carlin quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Bowling is not a sport because you have to rent the shoes. When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? This title offends all three major religions, and even vegetarians!More George Carlin quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it's trying to save its body.More George Carlin quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
An entertainer is someone who pleases others, and an artist tries to please himself. An artist is on a journey: they don't know where they're going, what is going to happen, but they know they are not there yet, and there is some continuity and growth. I think of myself as an entertainer: I'm a performing entertainer, I'm a stand-up comic. But there's an artist at work here, too. One who interprets his world through his own filter.More George Carlin quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Energy experts have announced the development of a new fuel made from human brain tissue. It's called assohol.More George Carlin quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
A guy runs a red light. His passenger tells him not to do that, but the driver says "It's okay, my brother drives like this!" He runs another red light. His passenger tries to insist, the driver says again "I told ya, it's okay, my brother drives like this!" Then he comes up to a green light and stops. His passenger asks what he's doing now and the driver says "Well, my brother might be coming the other way!"

-George Carlin, I don't remember what standup special. More Jokes about George Carlin [01/02/2018 12:01:02]
Some say rape isn't funny. Anything can be funny in the right context. Picture Porky Pig raping Elmer Fudd.
- George Carlin
More Jokes about George Carlin [01/02/2018 12:01:02]

Quotes of the month

Georges Elgozy A genius is most afraid of work - it turns him into talent. [07/31/2020 10:07:06] More

Pavel Priluchniy The actor should not sit just like that - without work, he will be gone, rotten. [07/20/2020 01:07:34] More

Oleg Tinkov The world is so big and our life is so short that we must explore as much as possible. [08/06/2020 11:08:19] More

Qasem Soleimani Dear General Petraeus, you should know that I, Qassem Suleimani, control the policy for Iran with respect to Iraq, Lebanon, Gaza and Afghanistan. And indeed, the ambassador in Baghdad is a Quds Force member. The individual who’s going to replace him is a Quds Force member. [07/20/2020 04:07:56] More

Georges Elgozy The exam is the only opportunity to learn something, provided for a few days. [07/31/2020 10:07:19] More