George Carlin

George Carlin

was an American stand-up comedian, social critic, actor and author, who won five Grammy Awards for his comedy albums.
An art thief is a man who takes pictures.More George Carlin quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Sun worship is fairly simple. There's no mystery, no miracles, no pageantry, no one asks for money, there are no songs to learn, and we don't have a special building where we all gather once a week to pare compare clothing.More George Carlin quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
The seven dwarfs were each on different little trips. Happy was into grass and grass alone ... Happy, that's all he did. Sleepy was into reds. Grumpy, too much speed. Sneezy was a full blown coke freak. Doc was a connection. Dopey was into everything. Any old orifice will do for Dopey. He's always got his arm out and his leg up. And then, the one we always forget, because he was Bashful. Bashful didn't use drugs. He was paranoid on his own. Didn't need any help on that ladder.More George Carlin quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.More George Carlin quotes [07/10/2011 03:07:54]
I went straight from shenanigans to crimes against humanity.More George Carlin quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
A guy runs a red light. His passenger tells him not to do that, but the driver says "It's okay, my brother drives like this!" He runs another red light. His passenger tries to insist, the driver says again "I told ya, it's okay, my brother drives like this!" Then he comes up to a green light and stops. His passenger asks what he's doing now and the driver says "Well, my brother might be coming the other way!"

-George Carlin, I don't remember what standup special. More Jokes about George Carlin [01/02/2018 12:01:02]
Most of the time they're usually already there.

-Goerge CarlinMore Jokes about George Carlin [01/02/2018 12:01:02]

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