George Carlin

George Carlin

was an American stand-up comedian, social critic, actor and author, who won five Grammy Awards for his comedy albums.
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.More George Carlin quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Although the photographer and the art thief were close friends, neither had ever taken the other's picture.More George Carlin quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
I just love it when I hear a little commotion, someone leaving. When I see those doors in the back . . .More George Carlin quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
The sicker you get, the harder it is to remember if you took your medicine.More George Carlin quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
O. J. Simpson has already received the ultimate punishment: For the rest of his life he has to associate with golfers.More George Carlin quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]

by George Carlin

In HEAVEN . . .

The Italians are the lovers,

The French cook the food,

The Swiss run the hotels,

The Germans are the mechanics,

And the English are the police.

In HELL . . .

The Swiss are the lovers,

The English cook the food,

The French run the hotels,

The Italians are the mechanics,

And the Germans are the police!
More Jokes about George Carlin [01/02/2018 12:01:02]
A guy runs a red light. His passenger tells him not to do that, but the driver says "It's okay, my brother drives like this!" He runs another red light. His passenger tries to insist, the driver says again "I told ya, it's okay, my brother drives like this!" Then he comes up to a green light and stops. His passenger asks what he's doing now and the driver says "Well, my brother might be coming the other way!"

-George Carlin, I don't remember what standup special. More Jokes about George Carlin [01/02/2018 12:01:02]

Quotes of the month

Kim Kardashian If someone does not take my life, then I can not accept them. [06/26/2018 10:06:43] More

Eugene Ryabyi In pursuit of a dream one can catch up with disappointment. [07/03/2018 04:07:54] More

Igor Karpov Dispute of the speechless - chatter before the pain in the fingers. [07/09/2018 05:07:40] More

Aleksandr Avanov Fas est et ab hoste doceri [07/13/2018 04:07:48] More

Eugene Ryabyi The frankness is the sister of stupidity. [07/02/2018 04:07:29] More