George Carlin

George Carlin

was an American stand-up comedian, social critic, actor and author, who won five Grammy Awards for his comedy albums.
I quit school in ninth grade, even though I was good at the studies. I knew I didn't need school for what I wanted.More George Carlin quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
If the reason for climbing Mt. Everest is that it's hard to do, why does everyone go up the easy side?More George Carlin quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Baseball is the only major sport that appears backwards in a mirror.More George Carlin quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
We now buy watches primarily for their looks, price, or additional functions. The fact that they tell time seems lost.More George Carlin quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
The habits of liberals, their automatic language, their knee-jerk responses to certain issues, deserved the epithets the right wing stuck them with. I'd see how true they often were. Here they were, banding together in packs, so I could predict what they were going to say about some event or conflict and it wasn't even out of their mouths yet. I was very uncomfortable with that. Liberal orthodoxy was as repugnant to me as conservative orthodoxy.More George Carlin quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Then realize that half of them are even stupider than that.

George CarlinMore Jokes about George Carlin [01/02/2018 12:01:02]

by George Carlin

In HEAVEN . . .

The Italians are the lovers,

The French cook the food,

The Swiss run the hotels,

The Germans are the mechanics,

And the English are the police.

In HELL . . .

The Swiss are the lovers,

The English cook the food,

The French run the hotels,

The Italians are the mechanics,

And the Germans are the police!
More Jokes about George Carlin [01/02/2018 12:01:02]

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