Imagine Pulitzer prizefighting.More Steven Wright quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]

It was the first time I was ever in love, and I learned a lot. Before that I'd never even thought about killing myself.More Steven Wright quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]

Is it weird in here, or is it just me?More Steven Wright quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]

In my house there's this light switch that doesn't do anything. Every so often, I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Germany. She said 'cut it out'More Steven Wright quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]

My mother is from another time - the funniest person to her is Lucille Ball; that's what she loves. A lot of times she tells me she doesn't know what I'm talking about. I know if I wasn't her son and she was flipping through the TV and saw me, she would just keep going.More Steven Wright quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]