I bought a self learning record to learn Spanish. I turned it on and went to sleep; the record got stuck. The next day I could only stutter in Spanish.More Steven Wright quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]

I wish, when I was first born, the first thing I said was "Quote" so the last thing I said before I died would be "Unquote.More Steven Wright quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]

You know those things that you throw the twigs into and it spits them out? That's what I do. The branches are like life, and I throw them into my head and some of it comes out as humor.More Steven Wright quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]

I've been thinking of humorous things since I was... I can't remember when. All the way through elementary school, all the way through junior high, all the way through high school, through college and after college, I was thinking of the same kinds of things that I say in front of an audience now.More Steven Wright quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]

The things I talk about and explain couldn't happen - yet, they don't seem impossible - you could say I talk about the world in an abstract perspective. But then, the world is basically insane - and it's trying to pass itself off as being a sane place. I show it for what it is.More Steven Wright quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]