Movie: The Wizard of Speed and Time [1989] Movie: The Wizard of Speed and Time [1989]

Movie: The Wizard of Speed and Time [1989] Movie: The Wizard of Speed and Time [1989]

Mom Jittlov:
You got a job today?



Mike:
Yeah, almost; I sold my car.



Mom Jittlov:
[aghast] Your wonderful car?



Mike:
Mmm-hmm. Sold my property to pay property taxes.

More Movie: The Wizard of Speed and Time [1989] Movie: The Wizard of Speed and Time [1989] quotes [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[Mike tries to join the Camera Union:]



Camera Union Clerk:
No sir, the studio hires the next man on the roster.



Mike:
Well, how do I get on the roster?



Camera Union Clerk:
You have to be in the union.



Mike:
Well, how do I get *in* the union?



Camera Union Clerk:
When you're on the roster.



Mike:
You mean I can't join unless I'm already a member?



Camera Union Clerk:
That's correct. Then you need thirty consecutive days camera operation, a complete physical exam, the producer sends a letter, and *you* pay your fees.



Mike:
Well, fine, I've done ten years of camera work!



Camera Union Clerk:
Then you've worked in violation of seniority! You'll have to start allll over, as a film loader.



Mike:
Look, I'm just building a small set and filming it!



Camera Union Clerk:
That's entirely another union. Set and Modelmakers. Next door!

More Movie: The Wizard of Speed and Time [1989] Movie: The Wizard of Speed and Time [1989] quotes [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[Cindy recognizes Mike when they are both in a crowded elevator]



Cindy Lite:
I beat you here! I'm your cheerleader, remember?



Mike 'The Wizard' Jittlov:
What?



Cindy Lite:
This morning, in the car. I gave you the clap.


[Cindy claps her hands as everyone else in the elevator gasps and takes a step away from both of them]

More Movie: The Wizard of Speed and Time [1989] Movie: The Wizard of Speed and Time [1989] quotes [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Dora Belair:
Look, you work with me, I expect a pro. You don't even shake hands; you oughta see a shrink!



Mike:
Miss Belair, if you feel compelled to grab part of my body and shake it before you can even be friendly, you've got far worse problems than you think I have.

More Movie: The Wizard of Speed and Time [1989] Movie: The Wizard of Speed and Time [1989] quotes [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[Mike tries to join the Directors' Union:]



Mike:
Hello, hi.



Directors' Union Clerk:
Can I help you?



Mike:
Yes, how do I join the Directors' Union?



Directors' Union Clerk:
You need to bring in a copy of the deal memo by your studio producer before you can pay your initiation fee and be cleared by Union Council, thank you...



Mike:
Uh, excuse me, what is the initiation fee?



Directors' Union Clerk:
Seven thousand dollars, with a hundred dollar application fee, two hundred dollars every quarter, and ten percent of your salary.



Mike:
Uhhh, seven thousand dollars, what is that for?



Directors' Union Clerk:
That's the amount you pay to get into our union.



Mike:
What is it, like Social Security? I get it back when I retire?



Directors' Union Clerk:
Absolutely not! What is your classification?



Mike:
Uh, well, I'm directing special effects with a small crew.



Directors' Union Clerk:
Well, then you must have an Assistant Director, a Second AD, and a UPM, all signed with the DUA.



Mike:
All I'm directing is animation!



Directors' Union Clerk:
Well then discuss that with the Animators' Union.

More Movie: The Wizard of Speed and Time [1989] Movie: The Wizard of Speed and Time [1989] quotes [06/16/2016 01:06:42]

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