Henrietta Phelps: Why don't we go around the room and introduce ourselve, and tell everyone why you came to the Phelps School?
Eddie Lipschultz: Hi! My name is Eddie, Eddie Lipschultz. I'm here because my mom's new boyfriend says I can't sleep in her bedroom anymore. I figured if I came to charm school, I might be able to... , there might be chance that I'd... , I could possibly...
Barney: [interrupting] Get laid?
Barney: [Eddie nods] I thought so.More Movie: The Whoopee Boys  Movie: The Whoopee Boys  quotes [02/07/2006 12:02:00]
Roy Raja: [exit from the bathroom] There are two toilets in there.More Movie: The Whoopee Boys  Movie: The Whoopee Boys  quotes [02/07/2006 12:02:00]
Barney: Who's this? Your son?
Adm. Storey: No, he's... uhhh
Mrs. Storey: He is my nephew.
Barney: Ohhh, your nephew. He looks Iranian to me. You know my sister, Maria, she married an Iranian guy. And they are hairy son of a bitches. You know they got hair on their chest, their backs, their butts. We're talking Winnie the Pooh. We're talking Chewbacca, you know the guy in Star Wars who goes AHHHH! AHHHH!More Movie: The Whoopee Boys  Movie: The Whoopee Boys  quotes [02/07/2006 12:02:00]
Barney: I wanted to thank you for only giving me the clap. These days it's refreshing to meet a girl with curable diseases.More Movie: The Whoopee Boys  Movie: The Whoopee Boys  quotes [02/07/2006 12:02:00]
Barney: [at another party, Barney sees the same old lady, now holding a Shar-Pei in her arm] Hey, it's my favorite dog lady again! How you doing? You have a new dog?
Woman with Dogs: Yes, this is a Shar-Pei; it's a Chinese dog.
Barney: [Barney pulls on the dog's wrinkled skin] Damn, you need to iron this dog, lady. Look at this!
Woman with Dogs: No, stop, that's just how the dog is!
Barney: Shit, you could fit two dogs in here!
[he continues to pull on the dog's loose skin]
Woman with Dogs: [Slapping Barney's hand away] No! Please, stop abusing my dog, you horrible man!
Barney: You have any Vietnamese neighbors?
Woman with Dogs: No, I don't think so.
Barney: Well, if any ever move in, and you go on vacation, believe me, you're going to want to take Fluffy with you! You'll come back and your dog will be missing it's hind leg, saying 'where were you?'
Woman with Dogs: Oh! That's horrible! You terrible, horrible man!
Barney: You go next door and talk to your neighbor, and he'll be standing there, picking his teeth, 'No! We no see Fluffy! What your dog look like? Your dog have big, juicy hind leg?'
Woman with Dogs: Oh, you awful man! Please, go away!
Barney: Fine! I guess this means we can't be pals no more?More Movie: The Whoopee Boys  Movie: The Whoopee Boys  quotes [02/07/2006 12:02:00]
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