Movie: The Meaning of Life [1983] Movie: The Meaning of Life [1983]

Movie: The Meaning of Life [1983] Movie: The Meaning of Life [1983]

Harry Blackitt:
Look at them, bloody Catholics, filling the bloody world up with bloody people they can't afford to bloody feed.



Mrs. Blackitt:
What are we dear?



Harry Blackitt:
Protestant, and fiercely proud of it.



Mrs. Blackitt:
Hmm. Well, why do they have so many children?



Harry Blackitt:
Because... every time they have sexual intercourse, they have to have a baby.



Mrs. Blackitt:
But it's the same with us, Harry.



Harry Blackitt:
What do you mean?



Mrs. Blackitt:
Well, I mean, we've got two children, and we've had sexual intercourse twice.



Harry Blackitt:
That's not the point. We could have it any time we wanted.



Mrs. Blackitt:
Really?



Harry Blackitt:
Oh, yes, and, what's more, because we don't believe in all that Papist claptrap, we can take precautions.



Mrs. Blackitt:
What, you mean... lock the door?



Harry Blackitt:
No, no. I mean, because we are members of the Protestant Reformed Church, which successfully challenged the autocratic power of the Papacy in the mid-sixteenth century, we can wear little rubber devices to prevent issue.



Mrs. Blackitt:
What d'you mean?



Harry Blackitt:
I could, if I wanted, have sexual intercourse with you...



Mrs. Blackitt:
Oh, yes, Harry.



Harry Blackitt:
...and, by wearing a rubber sheath over my old feller, I could insure... that, when I came off, you would not be impregnated.



Mrs. Blackitt:
Ooh.



Harry Blackitt:
That's what being a Protestant's all about. That's why it's the church for me. That's why it's the church for anyone who respects the individual and the individual's right to decide for him or herself. When Martin Luther nailed his protest up to the church door in fifteen-seventeen, he may not have realised the full significance of what he was doing, but four hundred years later, thanks to him, my dear, I can wear whatever I want on my John Thomas...


[sniff]



Harry Blackitt:
... and, Protestantism doesn't stop at the simple condom. Oh, no. I can wear French Ticklers if I want.



Mrs. Blackitt:
You what?



Harry Blackitt:
French Ticklers. Black Mambos. Crocodile Ribs. Sheaths that are designed not only to protect, but also to enhance the stimulation of sexual congress.



Mrs. Blackitt:
Have you got one?



Harry Blackitt:
Have I got one? Uh, well, no, but I can go down the road any time I want and walk into Harry's and hold my head up high and say in a loud, steady voice, 'Harry, I want you to sell me a condom. In fact, today, I think I'll have a French Tickler, for I am a Protestant.'



Mrs. Blackitt:
Well, why don't you?



Harry Blackitt:
But they - Well, they cannot, 'cause their church never made the great leap out of the Middle Ages and the domination of alien Episcopal supremacy.

More Movie: The Meaning of Life [1983] Movie: The Meaning of Life [1983] quotes [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Distraught Male Voice:
I just can't go on. I'm not good any more, goodbye... goodbye... aaaargh... Aaaargh.


[a leaf falls to the ground]



Distraught Female Voice:
Oh my God. What'll I do? I can't live without him... I... aaaargh.


[Another leaf falls]



Distraught Children's Voices:
Mummy... Mummy... Mummy... Daddy...


[Two more leaves fall]



More Distraught Voices:
Oh no. Aaaargh.


[the rest of the leaves fall at once]

More Movie: The Meaning of Life [1983] Movie: The Meaning of Life [1983] quotes [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Humphrey:
Now two boys have been found rubbing linseed oil into the school cormorant. Now some of you may feel that the cormorant does not play an important part in the life of the school, but I would remind you that it was presented to us by the corporation of the Town of Sudbury to commemorate Empire Day, when we try to remember the names of all those from the Sudbury area who so gallantly gave their lives to keep China British. So from now on, the cormorant is strictly OUT OF BOUNDS. Oh and Jenkins? Apparently your mother died this morning. Chaplain?

More Movie: The Meaning of Life [1983] Movie: The Meaning of Life [1983] quotes [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Chaplain:
Let us praise God. O Lord...



Congregation:
O Lord...



Chaplain:
...Ooh, You are so big...



Congregation:
...ooh, You are so big...



Chaplain:
...So absolutely huge.



Congregation:
...So absolutely huge.



Chaplain:
Gosh, we're all really impressed down here, I can tell You.



Congregation:
Gosh, we're all really impressed down here, I can tell You.



Chaplain:
Forgive us, O Lord, for this, our dreadful toadying, and...



Congregation:
And barefaced flattery.



Chaplain:
But You are so strong and, well, just so super.



Congregation:
Fantastic.



Humphrey:
Amen.



Congregation:
Amen.

More Movie: The Meaning of Life [1983] Movie: The Meaning of Life [1983] quotes [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[Large corporate boardroom filled with suited executives]



Exec #1:
Item six on the agenda: "The Meaning of Life" Now uh, Harry, you've had some thoughts on this.



Exec #2:
Yeah, I've had a team working on this over the past few weeks, and what we've come up with can be reduced to two fundamental concepts. One: People aren't wearing enough hats. Two: Matter is energy. In the universe there are many energy fields which we cannot normally perceive. Some energies have a spiritual source which act upon a person's soul. However, this "soul" does not exist ab initio as orthodox Christianity teaches; it has to be brought into existence by a process of guided self-observation. However, this is rarely achieved owing to man's unique ability to be distracted from spiritual matters by everyday trivia.



Exec #3:
What was that about hats again?



Exec #2:
Oh, Uh... people aren't wearing enough.



Exec #1:
Is this true?



Exec #4:
Certainly. Hat sales have increased but not pari passu, as our research...



Exec #3:
[Interrupting] "Not wearing enough"? enough for what purpose?



Exec #5:
Can I just ask, with reference to your second point, when you say souls don't develop because people become distracted...


[looking out window]



Exec #5:
Has anyone noticed that building there before?

More Movie: The Meaning of Life [1983] Movie: The Meaning of Life [1983] quotes [06/16/2016 01:06:42]

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