Navin R. Johnson: [bleakly] I've already given away eight pencils, two hoola dolls, and an ashtray, and I've only taken in fifteen dollars.
Frosty: Navin, you have taken in fifteen dollars and given away fifty cents worth of crap, which gives us a net profit of fourteen dollars and fifty cents.
Navin R. Johnson: Ah... It's a profit deal. Takes the pressure off. Get your weight guessed right here! Only a buck! Actual live weight guessing! Take a chance and win some crap!More Movie: The Jerk  Movie: The Jerk  quotes [05/03/2008 12:05:00]
Navin R. Johnson: [singing] I'm picking out a Thermos for you. Not an ordinary Thermos for you. But the extra best Thermos that you can buy, with vinyl and stripes and a cup built right in.More Movie: The Jerk  Movie: The Jerk  quotes [05/03/2008 12:05:00]
[Stan Fox's glasses keep slipping off]
Stan Fox: Damn these glasses.
Navin R. Johnson: Yes, sir.
[to the glasses]
Navin R. Johnson: I damn thee.More Movie: The Jerk  Movie: The Jerk  quotes [05/03/2008 12:05:00]
Navin R. Johnson: The new phone book's here! The new phone book's here!
Harry Hartounian: Boy, I wish I could get that excited about nothing.
Navin R. Johnson: Nothing? Are you kidding? Page 73 - Johnson, Navin R.! I'm somebody now! Millions of people look at this book everyday! This is the kind of spontaneous publicity - your name in print - that makes people. I'm in print! Things are going to start happening to me now.More Movie: The Jerk  Movie: The Jerk  quotes [05/03/2008 12:05:00]
New Accounts Bank Manager: I will need two pieces of identification.
Navin R. Johnson: Ah yes. I have my temporary driver's license - and - my astronaut application form... I didn't pass that though, I failed everything but the date of birth.More Movie: The Jerk  Movie: The Jerk  quotes [05/03/2008 12:05:00]
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