Elliott Garfield: [pulling one pair of panties off the shower curtain rod with each phrase] And I don't - like -the panties - hanging - on - the rod.More Movie: The Goodbye Girl  Movie: The Goodbye Girl  quotes [01/01/2008 12:01:00]
Mark: Now, what about Richard? Historically we know that Richard was born with severe curvature of the spine. Thus giving the impression that he was hunch backed. There was some paralysis of the right foot and the left hand, Olivier chose to play the left foot and the right hand, God knows why. As well as nerve damage to the right cheek and the eyelids. I mean, the man was your basic gimp let's face it. All of which bring us, thanks to the wise and rich Mrs. Estelle Morganwise, to this production. Is that the way we want to play Richard? If you do then this director would just as soon do a six week stint on the Sonny and Cher Show. Richard the third was a flaming homosexual. So was Shakespere for that matter. But that angry mob at the Globe Theater wasn't about to plunk down two shillings to see a bunch of pansies jumping about on the stage. It was society that crippled Richard not childbirth. I mean, read your texts. He sent those two cute little boys up to the tower and nobody ever saw them again. I mean, we all know why, don't we? What I want to do here is to strip Richard bare, metaphorically. Let's get rid of the hump. Let's get rid of the twisted extremeties and show him for what he would be today. The queen who wanted to be king.
Mark: [sees Elliot raising his hand] Yes?
Elliot Garfield: Question. Are you serious?
Mark: Now, what's the objection Elliot?
Elliot Garfield: Well, number 1 I have to play it. Number 2 I like the hump and the club foot and number 3 I've been working on the part for 3 months.
Mark: And I respect that. I mean, that's why were here, isn't it? To exchange ideas. So, how do you see Richard, Mr. Macho?
Elliot Garfield: No, I don't think the guy's a linebacker for the Chicago Bears. But let's not throw away one of his prime motivations.
Mark: Oh, and what's that?
Elliot Garfield: He wants to hump Lady Anne!
Mark: Oh, yes. I've heard that before. Well, look, I'm not going to try and pressure you but let's just try it my way. Let's read through the first act. Trust me, please.
Assistant Director: Act one scene one...
Elliot Garfield: Uh, excuse me. Sorry. Just how far off the diving board do you want me to jump?
Mark: Well, don't give me Bette Midler, but let's not be afraid to be bold.
Elliot Garfield: Bold.
Assistant Director: Act one, scene one, enter Richard Duke of Glochester.
Elliot Garfield: Now is the winter of our discontent... Sorry, one minute. Now is the winter...
Elliot Garfield: [Very effeminate] Now ith the winter of our dithcontent... may I have a 5 minute break please?
Mark: Five minutes.More Movie: The Goodbye Girl  Movie: The Goodbye Girl  quotes [01/01/2008 12:01:00]
Elliot Garfield: Alright, here is the situation.
Paula McFadden: I know the situation.
Elliot Garfield: Just let me say this out loud alright? I mean, I don't really believe this myself. Number one, I'm starting work in the morning and I have no place to sleep tonight. Number two, you don't have any money and you've got my apartment. Also you have your daughter to think about.
Paula McFadden: I am thinking of her right now!
Elliot Garfield: Do me the courtesy of hearing me out. Please? You are not the only one who can scream rape, you know?
Paula McFadden: Ha.
Elliot Garfield: We are both in a bind. The two of us. And I think the only practical solution is that we share the apartment.
Paula McFadden: I accept.
Elliot Garfield: What?
Paula McFadden: I accept. I may be subborn but I am not stupid.
Elliot Garfield: You mean it?
Paula McFadden: I have a daughter to goes to school and I have to start looking for work in the morning. You have a key. I would have to stand guard all day long to keep you out. I accept, you win, get your bags. You get the small bedroom.
Elliot Garfield: What the hell am I getting myself into, huh?More Movie: The Goodbye Girl  Movie: The Goodbye Girl  quotes [01/01/2008 12:01:00]
[during rehearsal of Richard III]
Elliot Garfield: My careereth is over. I am making a horseth asseth of myselfeth. Mark, I'm begging you. I'm BEGGING you. You want this kind of performance? Let me play Lady Anne.More Movie: The Goodbye Girl  Movie: The Goodbye Girl  quotes [01/01/2008 12:01:00]
Five minutes! Leave your bags this isn't a permanent conversation.
I'm dripping on your rug.
It's been dripped on before.
Look, I'm sorry about this. I didn't know there were going to be any complications.
There's a lot of that going around lately.
I don't blame you for being hostile. I think I get the picture. Tony rented me the apartment and split with the money, right? Then you and your daughter got dumped on.
That is your version. My version is that Tony and I amicably end our relationship. We agreed that I would keep the apartment and you and your six hundred dollars got dumped on. Get the picture?
Very sharp. That's sharp. That's very sharp. You're a sharp New York girl, right?
No a dull Cincinnati kid but you get dumped on enough and you start to develop an edge.
Okay, so what's the deal, huh? I mean, I got a lease here in my pocket. You gonna honor it, or what?
I've got a daughter in my bed that tops a lease in your pocket.
Look, I don't want to get legal. Legal happens to be on my side, you know? Now I happen to have a lawyer aquaintance downtown, all I have to do is call this lawyer aquaintance of mine and...
[hears Paula groaning]
An actor. Another Goddamn actor. "I happen to have a lawyer aquaitance?" Right out of A Streetcar Named Desire. Stanley Kowalski in summer stock, right?
Wrong. Chicago in the dead of winter. Three and a half months at the Drury Lane Theater.
Ask an actor a question and he gives you his credits.
You want to hear the reviews? Elliot Garfield brings to Kowalski dimentions that even Brando had not investigated?
Terrific! You write beautifuly. Aren't you a little short to play Stanley?
Nobody know that I stood on the poker table. What are you, a critic?
No, I love actors. As long as they stay up on the stage where they belong. But you put them down in real life and the whole world gets screwed up. Well, I have had enough. I am not getting thrown out of the same lousy apartment twice. You want your money back? Go to Naples. You want this apartment? Buy me two tickets to California. Either way I will give you two minutes to think it over before I start yelling rape.
Jesus! You are really something you know that? Really. I'm surprised Tony didn't take a job in the Phillipines.
I hope you are thinking because I am counting.
Will you just wait just a second. Just... hold... hold it. Can we make a deal?
I don't know. I just got here. Ha, ha. I can I a cup of coffee?
Oh, don't be bashful just say what's on your mind.
More Movie: The Goodbye Girl  Movie: The Goodbye Girl  quotes [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
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