Lucy McFadden: [hears Elliott chanting] What's that?
Paula McFadden: Sounds like God.
Lucy McFadden: I smell strawberries burning.
Paula McFadden: That's incense.
Lucy McFadden: What's incense?
Paula McFadden: It is what I'm feeling right now.More Movie: The Goodbye Girl  Movie: The Goodbye Girl  quotes [01/01/2008 12:01:00]
[quoting newspaper reviews of his off-Broadway premiere]
Elliot Garfield: I was "an Elizabethan fruit fly." I was "the Betty Boop of Stratford-on-Avon." I was "putrid." Capital P, capital U, capital TRID.More Movie: The Goodbye Girl  Movie: The Goodbye Girl  quotes [01/01/2008 12:01:00]
Elliot Garfield: Oh, don't be bashful just say what's on your mind. Alright, here is the situation.
Paula McFadden: I know the situation.
Elliot Garfield: Just let me say this out loud alright? I mean, I don't really believe this myself. Number one, I'm starting work in the morning and I have no place to sleep tonight. Number two, you don't have any money but you've got my apartment. Also you have your daughter to think about.
Paula McFadden: I am thinking of her right now!
Elliot Garfield: Do me the courtesy of hearing me out. Please? You are not the only one who can scream rape, you know?
Paula McFadden: Ha.
Elliot Garfield: We are both in a bind. The two of us. And I think the only practical solution is that we share the apartment.
Paula McFadden: I accept.
Elliot Garfield: What?
Paula McFadden: I accept. I may be subborn but I am not stupid.
Elliot Garfield: You mean it?
Paula McFadden: I have a daughter to goes to school and I have to start looking for work in the morning. You have a key. I would have to stand guard all day long to keep you out. I accept, you win, get your bags. You get the small bedroom.
Elliot Garfield: What the hell am I getting myself into, huh?More Movie: The Goodbye Girl  Movie: The Goodbye Girl  quotes [01/01/2008 12:01:00]
Elliot: I am a dedicated actor, Paula, you know? I am dedicated to my art and my craft, I value what I do. And because of a mentally arthritic director, I am about to play the second greatest role in the history of the English-speaking theater like a fresh double-order of California fruit salad.More Movie: The Goodbye Girl  Movie: The Goodbye Girl  quotes [01/01/2008 12:01:00]
Elliot Garfield: [out on the fire escape] Hey! I think I have a clue now as to why all those other guys left. Crackers! Animal Crackers lady! You've got a severe case of emotional retardation. I'm not leaving Paula, I'm escaping.
Paula McFadden: I will personally forward your mail.
Elliot Garfield: Keep it! I'm not giving you a forwarding address.
Paula McFadden: [to woman on the street] Lot of weirdos in this neighborhood.
Elliot Garfield: But just in passing I'd like to say that last night was teriffic, okay? It was the Super Bowl of romance. I give it a fat nine on a scale of ten. You lose one point for burping your wine but all in all it's still a very respectable score.
Paula McFadden: Don't you get glib about last night it was very important to me.
Elliot Garfield: You want to lower your neurosis for just one second I'm not finished. You want to know what your problem is?
Paula McFadden: What?
Elliot Garfield: You love to love someone but the minute they start taking the initiative like I did last night that scares the pants off you. Nothing off color intended. You didn't wait at any stage door me, you know? I approached first. I touched first and you can't handle that, can you.
Paula McFadden: [to woman on street] He is laughable. And silly! You are the silliest man I've ever met.
Elliot Garfield: And you know that I'm right.
Paula McFadden: If you don't let go of me I'm going to punch your other eye out!
Elliot Garfield: Paula, you know yourself too well to ignore what I'm saying.
Paula McFadden: Yes, that is exactly why I am trying to ignore it.
Elliot Garfield: You know what we got here? We got Taming of the Shrew, that's what we got here.
Elliot Garfield: [climbing the stairs in the apartment building] Despite the fact that you're one large pain in the arse, last night was the best thing that ever happened to me, girl-wise, and if you weren't behaving like such a horse's rectum you would know that we could be inside touching and fondling all day long until about 5 o'clock when I gotta go to rehearsal. Personally, Madam, I think you blew it.More Movie: The Goodbye Girl  Movie: The Goodbye Girl  quotes [01/01/2008 12:01:00]
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