Elliot Garfield: Lady Anne! Lady Anne! The black prince is dead! England is yours! You don't want England? How about Spain? Spain I can get you cheap.
Lucy McFadden: What are you doing in that thing?
Elliot Garfield: Come on, let's get going, will ya? This horse has got a meter on it.
Lucy McFadden: Where to?
Elliot Garfield: We're going home! To Tara! Come on! Cynthia Fine, right? I think you've got charisma, too.
Cynthia Fine: Lucy, did you tell him? I never said anything like that. I'm going to get you for that Lucy you big creep.
Elliot Garfield: You want to go to my opening tonight? I owe you a good time after the last one.
Lucy McFadden: I have homework.
Elliot Garfield: What are you sore about? Me and your Mom?
Lucy McFadden: It's none of my business why should I be sore?
Elliot Garfield: Yeah, well, since you and I are exchanging bedrooms tonight I kinda think it is. But I'm a little old fashioned. I'd like to have your approval.
Lucy McFadden: Me? I'm only ten years old. I'm not even old enough to vote yet.
Elliot Garfield: I like your style, kid, I really do. Oh, I'm sorry, I hear you don't like to be called kid.
Lucy McFadden: I'm a kid it fits.
Elliot Garfield: Do you like me?
Lucy McFadden: Ask Cynthia Fine she's crazy about you.
Elliot Garfield: Lucy, do you like me?
Lucy McFadden: You're wasting your money because I'm really not enjoying this ride.
Elliot Garfield: Lucy, I'm going to keep asking you until you answer me. Do you like me?
Lucy McFadden: Do you mind if I get off? I think I'm getting nauseous.
Elliot Garfield: Answer my question, Goddamn it. Lucy it makes no difference to me one way or the other because I'm moving in with your old lady but I want to hear it from your own lips. Now answer me, yes or no do you like me?
Lucy McFadden: No!... Yes.
Elliot Garfield: A really, really, really lot?
Lucy McFadden: Yes, yes, alright?
Elliot Garfield: Okay. But as much as you like me it's not 1/1000th as much as I'm crazy about you. You can cry all over yourself I don't care. I am certifiably nuts about you. You and your ditsy mom. So blow that into your handkerchief.More Movie: The Goodbye Girl  Movie: The Goodbye Girl  quotes [01/01/2008 12:01:00]
Elliot Garfield: Despite the fact that you're one large pain in the arse last night was the best thing that ever happened to me, girl wise, and if you weren't behaving like such a horses rectum you would know that we could be inside touching and fondling all day long until I've got to go to rehearsal. Personally madam, I think you blew it.More Movie: The Goodbye Girl  Movie: The Goodbye Girl  quotes [01/01/2008 12:01:00]
Elliot Garfield: If you were a Broadway musical, people would be humming your face.More Movie: The Goodbye Girl  Movie: The Goodbye Girl  quotes [01/01/2008 12:01:00]
Paula McFadden: Is that it? Is that the last chorus?
Elliot Garfield: I am in a blissful state so don't bug me.
Paula McFadden: Is this going to be a regular routine? I mean, guitars at night. Humming in the morning. I've been in musicals that didn't have this much music.
Elliot Garfield: Miss McFadden, this morning I start rehearsals for my very first New York play. Probably the most important day of my life. Am I nervous? No, I am not nervous. Because I have meditated I am relaxed, I am calm, I am confident. You, on the other hand, have not meditated. Therefore you are a pain in the ass.
Paula McFadden: This happens to be a very important day for me, too. I am auditioning for a new musical this morning. I slept 17 minutes last night thanks to you and with the bags I have under my eyes unless this musical is about little old ladies I don't stand a chance in hell. Are you listening to me?
Elliot Garfield: Uh-huh.
Paula McFadden: What is that slop you are putting into my dishes?
Elliot Garfield: Granola, wheat germ, soya, lecithin, natural honey. My body is a temple, Miss McFadden, and I am worshiping it. It's what gives me my energy, my vitality and my natural disposition. I'm 63 years old Miss McFadden and look at me. May I fix you a bowl?
Paula McFadden: This is not going to work. I mean, I don't know you well enough to truly dislike you but you are just too weird to live with. Why don't you find yourself another apartment and I will pay you the $600.00 as soon as I get a job.
Elliot Garfield: You are forgetting that this is my apartment. You are living here on an Elliot Garfield grant. You really ought to try some of this, you know? It's got whole bran in it. My feeling is that your whole problem stems irregularity.More Movie: The Goodbye Girl  Movie: The Goodbye Girl  quotes [01/01/2008 12:01:00]
Mark: You're unhappy Elliot?
Elliot Garfield: Unhappy? No. I am freaking petrified. The critics are going to crucify me, Mark. And Gay Liberation is going to hang me from Shakespear's statue. By my genitalia. You gotta help me, Mark.
Mark: What do you want, Elliot?
Elliot Garfield: I want my hump back! I want my club foot. I want a little paralysis in my right hand! I don't mean a lot, just a little, two stiff fingers, I need a little motivation.
Mark: I see. You want to play it safe, eh? You want to give us your standard, conventinal Richard. Well, I can't argue with that Elliot they've been doing it that way for 400 years.
Elliot Garfield: Listen, what do I know? I'm lucky to get the part I know that. I come from Chicago. We do things a little bit differently out there. We do the play as written. That doesn't go over in New York? Terrific. I respect you, Mark, I do. You've done off Broadway I haven't. I'm not a quitter. You want me to do Richard the Third like Tatum O'Neal I'll do it but just don't make me look foolish out there.
Mark: And you feel foolish.
Elliot Garfield: I feel like an asshole! I passed foolish on Tuesday.
Mark: Hey, I was never going to let you do it like that.
Elliot Garfield: Oh, thank God!
Mark: But do you see where I'm heading.
Elliot Garfield: I, I'm trying, Mark.
Mark: Richard was gay there's no doubt about it. But let's use that as subtext. We'll keep it but now we can put back the hump and the club foot...
Elliot Garfield: And the twisted fingers.
Mark: If you like them.
Elliot Garfield: Like 'em? I love 'em! I'm crazy about 'em!
Mark: Then use them, baby, and you will see what I am after. Just try it my way, bubala. I will never let you go wrong.More Movie: The Goodbye Girl  Movie: The Goodbye Girl  quotes [01/01/2008 12:01:00]
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