There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he is a crook.More Groucho Marx quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]

[Mrs. Teasdale]: He's had a change of heart. [Groucho]: A lot of good that'll do him. He's still got the same face.More Groucho Marx quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.More Groucho Marx quotes [07/10/2011 04:07:32]

While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.More Groucho Marx quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]

I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a good book. ANOTHER VERSION I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. ANOTHER VERSION I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go in the other room and read a book.More Groucho Marx quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]