Put an egg in your shoe and beat it, make like a tree and leave, imitate an amoeba and split.More Stephen King quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
I believe these stories exist because we sometimes need to create unreal monsters and bogies to stand in for all the things we fear in our real lives: the parent who punches instead of kissing, the auto accident that takes a loved one, the cancer we one day discover living in our own bodies. If such terrible occurrences were acts of darkness, they might actually be easier to cope with. But instead of being dark, they have their own terrible brilliance. . . and none shine so bright as the acts of cruelty we sometimes peMore Stephen King quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
She didn't see him at first. She was watching the dancers. Her color was high, and there were deep dimples at the corners of her mouth. She looked nine miles out of place, but he had never loved her more. This was Willa on the edge of a smile.More Stephen King quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
It's a mystery. That's the first thing that interests me about the idea of God. If there is one, it's mysterious and powerful and awesome to even consider the concept, and you have to take it seriously.More Stephen King quotes [03/12/2018 02:03:32]
Sooner or later everything you thought you'd left behind comes around again. For good or ill, it comes around again.More Stephen King quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.
Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... yes, these are some of Chuck Norris's warm-up exercises.
Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.
Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"
Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.
Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.
The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
According to the Encyclopedia Brittanica, the Native American "Trail of Tears" has been redefined as anywhere that Chuck Norris walks.More Other / Misc Jokes about Stephen King [01/02/2018 12:01:02]
The sea, the sea ... But how can it be a grave? Dip a piece of iron into the wave and it will turn green. All life on earth came out of him ... [08/05/2020 11:08:59] More
Nowadays, people learn about what they think on TV. [07/20/2020 12:07:37] More
The doctor does not have to believe in medicine - the patient believes in it for two. [07/31/2020 10:07:55] More
The existence of the fleet in Russia is considered by many to be something ... unnatural, not required by state needs ... It is necessary to eliminate doubts in society about its necessity. [07/25/2020 08:07:01] More
With each new president of the United States, Russians live worse and worse. [08/01/2020 09:08:09] More