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| Professor G.H. Dorr: You, madam, are addressing a man, who is in fact quiet... and yet, not quiet, if I may offer to you a riddle. (Movie: The Ladykillers [2004]) | |
Waffle Hut Waitress: Have you all decided?
Professor G.H. Dorr: Madam, we must have waffles! We must all have waffles forthwith! We must all think, and we must all have waffles, and think each and every one of us to the very best of his ability... (Movie: The Ladykillers [2004]) | |
Marva Munson: Sheriff, you got to hep that boy.
Sheriff Wyner: You want me to hep him?
Marva Munson: Extend that hepping hand. (Movie: The Ladykillers [2004]) | |
Lump Hudson: [pointing gun at Professor] Who looks stupid now?
[cocks gun, but nothing comes out]
Lump Hudson: No bullets.
[looks in gun and it shoots in his eyes] (Movie: The Ladykillers [2004]) | |
Professor G.H. Dorr: General, you are a Buddhist. Perhaps there is some "middle way" to solve this problem?
The General: Must float like leaf on river of life... and kill old lady. (Movie: The Ladykillers [2004]) | |
| Marva Munson: Niggas! Two thousand years after Jesus, thirty years after Martin Luther King, the age of Montel; sweet Lord of mercy is that where we at? (Movie: The Ladykillers [2004]) | |
| Professor G.H. Dorr: And what, to flog a horse, that if not dead is at this point in mortal danger of expiring, does this little square represent? (Movie: The Ladykillers [2004]) | |
Professor G.H. Dorr: [soon after he has fallen from a tree] I also hold a number of other advanced degrees, including the baccalaureate from a school in Paris, France, called the Sorbonne.
Marva Munson: Sore bone. Well, that fits. (Movie: The Ladykillers [2004]) | |
Garth Pancake: Do you know who the Freedom Riders were, MacSam?
Gawain MacSam: No, and I don't give a fuck. Just tell me when the fuck they gonna leave. (Movie: The Ladykillers [2004]) | |
| Gawain MacSam: Would you tell this muthafucka he can sew this shit back on? It's like that dude whose wife cut his dick off, threw it on the freeway? She just called Triple A, they towed the dick and sewed the muthafucka back on. Listen up, jackass, I saw the muthafucka in a porno, the thang still worked, it looked like a chewed-up frank, but that little muthafucka be workin' that muthafucka. It's mangly, but he be fuckin' the bitch all kind of ways with a twisted dick. (Movie: The Ladykillers [2004]) | |
Marva Munson: [walking in after the explosion in the basement] Professor, I'm surprised!
Professor G.H. Dorr: Well... uh... properly speaking, madam, we are surprised. You are taken aback. Though I do acknowledge that the sense that you intend is gaining increasing currency through its use, yes. (Movie: The Ladykillers [2004]) | |
Marva Munson: Now I want to know what's goin' on.
Professor G.H. Dorr: Oh, indeed, indeed. The thirst for knowledge is a very commendable thing. Though I do believe that when you hear the explanation you shall laugh riotously, slappin' your knee and perhaps even wipin' away a giddy tear, relieved of your former concern. Lump here is an avid collector of Indian arrowheads, and having found one simply lying on your cellar floor - a particularly rare artifact of the Natchez tribe?
Lump Hudson: Nats... what?
Professor G.H. Dorr: He enlisted the entire ensemble in an all-out effort to sift through the subsoil in search of others. And apparently, in doing so, we hit a mother lode of natural gas. I myself became acutely aware of the smell of "rotten eggs." And it was just at this inopportune moment that the General here violated the cardinal rule of this house and lit himself a cigarette.
The General: So sorry.
Marva Munson: Well, what about all that money?
Professor G.H. Dorr: Ah. The money. Well, the money is Mr. Pancake's.
Garth Pancake: That's right.
Professor G.H. Dorr: Who only just remortgaged his home in order to raise the money for a surgical procedure that will correct the wandering eye of his common-law wife, Mountain Water, who suffers from astigmia, strabismus and a general curdling of the vitreous jelly. Mr. Pancake is an ardent foe of the Federal Reserve, and is, in fact, one of those eccentrics one often reads about hoardin' his entire life savings, in Mr. Pancake's case, in a Hefty bag that is his constant companion. The Steel Sak.
Garth Pancake: Don't trust the banks. Never have. (Movie: The Ladykillers [2004]) | |
[first lines]
Sheriff Wyner: Unh... Oh! Afternoon, Miss Munson.
Marva Munson: Afternoon, Sheriff. You know the Funthes boy? (Movie: The Ladykillers [2004]) | |
Professor G.H. Dorr: Perhaps if you apologize to the man, gave him flowers... uh... perhaps a fruit basket with a card depicting a misty seascape and inscribed with a sentiment.
Gawain MacSam: I ain't apologisin' to that mutha fuckuh. He fired me because I'm black!
Professor G.H. Dorr: Surely a chocolate assortment has been known to melt the heart of even the hardest misanthrope.
Gawain MacSam: That muthuhfuckuh ain't rollin over for no candybar! (Movie: The Ladykillers [2004]) | |
Professor G.H. Dorr: Allow me to introduce myself formally. Goldthwait Higginson Dorr, Ph.D
Marva Munson: Like Elmer?
Professor G.H. Dorr: I beg your pardon, madam?
Marva Munson: Fudd. (Movie: The Ladykillers [2004]) | |
Col. Boyer: At ease, Captain. You know Major Cotton. That is Major Warren. Take a seat. Now, what is this we hear? That you have agreed to cancel the tax of the farmers in Champaner if they beat you in a game of cricket? Is this true?
Capt. Russell: Yes, Colonel Boyer, sir, it is.
Col. Boyer: What on earth do you think you're here for? To play games?
Maj. Warren: Let me remind you that you are working here for Her Majesty, the Queen. Your job is to ensure the smooth running of your province.
Capt. Russell: Pardon me, sir, but that's exactly what I'm doing.
Maj. Cotton: I think we'll be the judge of that, Russell! We also understand that if you lose this so-called match, you will cancel their taxes for the next three years.
Maj. Warren: Not just Champaner but the entire province.
Capt. Russell: But they won't win.
Maj. Warren: You're missing the whole bloody point! Do you realize, Captain Russell, that we could have on our hands a bloody situation where there'll be cricket matches happening all over the damn sub-continent in order to cancel the bloody tax?
Capt. Russell: There is one thing you don't know. If they lose, which they will, they will have to pay the Queen three times the tax.
Maj. Cotton: This is ridiculous! This OFFICER wants to make the government a bookie through which he can place his wagers! What'll you have us do next? Race horses?
Col. Boyer: This is the most preposterous idea I have ever heard of! Now jolly well understand this: if you win, you will have had a narrow escape. But if you lose, YOU will pay the taxes for Champaner and the entire province OUT OF YOUR OWN POCKET! And then you'll be packed off to Central Africa! Is that clear?
Capt. Russell: Yes, Sir!
Col. Boyer: That'll be all. You may go. (Movie: Lagaan [2001]) | |
Gauri: You think I don't see which way the Ganges is flowing?
Bhuvan: Oh, pity me, I feel the pain of the scorpion's sting. You're jealous!
Gauri: [gasps] Why should I be jealous? Jealousy is beneath me.
Bhuvan: You're jealous, and I know who you're jealous of.
Gauri: I never want to see you again, and don't even try and talk to me. (Movie: Lagaan [2001]) | |
Lakha: See how badly hurt I am?
Gauri: Hurt? It's my father you need. Not me. Father? Lakha has cut his hand.
Ishwar: He seems to cut his hand more than he cuts wood. (Movie: Lagaan [2001]) | |
Ramprasad: [choosing other team members] How about Kashi Nath?
Bhura: Kashi Nath? If he runs, he'll split: Kashi one side, Nath the other! (Movie: Lagaan [2001]) | |
Burton: [smugly hits Yardley's ball for 4] How was that?
Yardley: [bowls a fast ball, knocking Burton back onto his own wicket, sarcastically] How was *that*? (Movie: Lagaan [2001]) | |
Gauri: Guran read my fortune today.
Bhuvan: Really? What's the misfortune then?
Gauri: So cruel? I won't tell you.
Bhuvan: Oh come on.
Gauri: He said I'll put henna on my hands this year - I mean get married.
Bhuvan: That's great! Who's the lucky boy?
Gauri: How would I know? But Guran did say that the house I marry into will have a neem tree in the yard. It will also have a big field beside it, some chickens, two cows, and three goats. What about you?
Bhuvan: I'd have to marry someone my mother likes.
Gauri: Someone your mother likes? (Movie: Lagaan [2001]) | |
[Gauri is walking away in tears, Bhuvan shouts after her]
Bhuvan: Hey Gauri! There's only one house in the village with a neem tree in the yard. There's also a big field beside it. There's some chickens, two cows, and three goats. And I know whose house that is! It's mine, you silly girl! One thing before you go. Mother likes you, too! (Movie: Lagaan [2001]) | |
[the other villagers are refusing to let an untouchable join the team]
Bhuvan: Let me remind you all of one thing: this is not a game we are playing for fun and entertainment - this is a fight we must win. (Movie: Lagaan [2001]) | |
[the other villagers are refusing to let Kachra, an untouchable, join the team]
Bhuvan: Whether you support me or not, Kachra will play. (Movie: Lagaan [2001]) | |
| Yashodamai: [to Bhuvan] You talk like your father. He was just as spirited; always spoke the truth. (Movie: Lagaan [2001]) | |
| Capt. Russell: [arguing with Elizabeth] Despite my warnings, you continue to meet those bloody farmers, damn you! (Movie: Lagaan [2001]) | |
[Guran is coming in to bat]
British Team Member: Coming from the jungle?
[men laughing]
British Team Member 2: Make way!
[men laughing]
British Team Member: Don't get too close, Smithy!
[men laughing]
British Team Member 2: What on Earth is he doing?
Capt. Russell: This way, sir.
[men laughing]
Col. Boyer: What an extrodinary stance! It looks as if he's riding a horse!
[Guran hits a six by hitting the ball twice]
Col. Boyer: Well struck, sir!
Capt. Russell: Umpire, he can't do that. It's not cricket.
Bhuvan: Guran, hit the ball only once.
Guran: Okay.
Guran: [hits the ball DOWNWARDS while doing some leg movement] Hail Hanuman, the Mighty Ape!
Rajah Puran Singh: THAT'S called Kicking The Horse!
[men laughing]
Col. Boyer: Indeed!
[men laughing] (Movie: Lagaan [2001]) | |
[Russell comes back from his meeting with the senior soldiers, where they got mad about the tax cancellation, a soldier salutes and walks by... ]
Capt. Russell: Is that the way a soldier behaves? You're SUPPOSED TO SALUTE when a superior officer passes!
British Soldier: I did, Sir.
Capt. Russell: I didn't see it!
British Soldier: [Salutes]
Capt. Russell: That's better.
Lt. Smith: I imagine your meeting didn't go quite as expected, sir?
Capt. Russell: Damn right it didn't! The senile old hats want to teach me how to run the show. They've lost their sense of adventure with age! (Movie: Lagaan [2001]) | |
[watching British play Cricket so they can learn, and they see the Umpire stick his finger up]
Tipu: Why is he pointing up?
Bhuvan: That's what I'M trying to understand.
Guran: Maybe he's calling for his Ma. She's sitting up there, eh?
[Laughing] (Movie: Lagaan [2001]) | |
Bhuvan: Where's Gauri?
Jigni: She's gone.
Bhuvan: Where? Why are you glaring at me like that?
[Jigni walks off]
Bhuvan: What the hell have I done now? (Movie: Lagaan [2001]) | |
| Bhuvan: [singing] Listen, O, my friend... what's this fear you have? This earth is ours and so is the sky... (Movie: Lagaan [2001]) | |
Goli: Will our dream ever come true? No, Bhuvan. It hurts too much to dream like that.
Bhuvan: Have faith, Goli. He who has truth and courage in his heart shall win in the end. (Movie: Lagaan [2001]) | |
[from trailer]
Kate: [voice over] Here's a little something for you. There was a freak blizzard in the spring of 2004. So, watch out for that April snow. (Movie: The Lake House [2006]) | |
[from trailer]
Kate: I sometimes feel as if I'm invisible, as if no one can see me at all. I never felt that way when I lived at the Lake House. (Movie: The Lake House [2006]) | |
[from trailer]
Kate: [voice over] Dear new tenant, welcome to your new home. I'm sure you'll love living here as much as I did.
Alex: What do you mean lived here?
Kate: Since no one has lived in this house for years. (Movie: The Lake House [2006]) | |
[from trailer]
Kate: [voice over] Ridiculous. For argument's sake, what day is it there?
Alex: April 14th, 2004.
Kate: No. It's April 14th, 2006.
Alex: It's the same day two years apart. (Movie: The Lake House [2006]) | |
Simon Wyler: Where's your brother?
Alex: I sent him away. He wasn't feeling well. You know how he is, he worries.
Simon Wyler: Yeah, I know. He gets that from your mother, I'm afraid. She always worried too much.
Alex: What are you looking at?
[looking at architectural plans]
Simon Wyler: Hmm? Oh, yeah, here, take a gander. It's a proposal for a museum.
Alex: Who is it?
Simon Wyler: Someone new.
Alex: Oh, I like the walkways, where the light falls. What are the materials?
Simon Wyler: Granite. Aluminum.
Alex: White panels are straight out of Meier... but the interior color coming through the front windows, that's different. It's not new, but it's clean, uncluttered. I like it.
Simon Wyler: When was the last time you were in Barcelona?
Alex: Years ago, with you, Mom and Henry.
Simon Wyler: Do you remember visiting Casa de la Caritat?
Alex: The almshouse.
Simon Wyler: That's right. You mentioned Meier. His Barcelona museum stands in the same area as Casa de la Caritat. It drinks the same light. Meier designed a series of louvered skylights to capture that light and cast it inward to illuminate the art within, but indirectly. And, that was important, because although light enhances art, it can also degrade it. But, you know all that already, you son of a gun. Now, this... where do you suppose this is to be built?
Alex: I have no idea.
Simon Wyler: Oh, but you said you liked it.
Alex: Conceptually.
Simon Wyler: Now, come on. You know as well as I do that the light in Barcelona is quite different from the light in Tokyo. And, the light in Tokyo is different from that in Prague. A truly great structure, one that is meant to stand the tests of time never disregards its environment. A serious architect takes that into account. He knows that if he wants presence, he must consult with nature. He must be captivated by the light. Always the light. Always. (Movie: The Lake House [2006]) | |
Alex: There should be a stairway down to the water, a porch, a deck. Here, you're in a - in a box. A glass box with a view to everything that's around you... but you can't touch it. No interconnection between you and what you're looking at.
Henry Wyler: I don't know, you know. He's got this big maple growing right in the middle of the house.
Alex: Containment.
[He pushes a button which opens a glass door]
Alex: Containment and control. This house is about ownership, not connection. I mean, it's beautiful. Seductive, even. But, it's incomplete.
[He pauses]
Alex: It was all about him. Dad knew how to build a house, not a home. But you know... I think he wants us to do what he couldn't. But, admitting that would mean admitting that he came up short in some way... that he could do more. And that tortures him.
Henry Wyler: Do you remembering being here with Mom?
Alex: I remember she tried to make it work here... with us... with him. (Movie: The Lake House [2006]) | |
[from trailer]
Alex: [voice over] How's your sunset?
Kate: It's perfect.
Alex: I only wish you were here to share it with me. (Movie: The Lake House [2006]) | |
Kate Forster: [to Alex] Call me on July 10, 2006 at... 9:05 PM.
[cell phone rings]
Kate Forster: [hesitantly picks it up] Hello?
Morgan: Kate. It's Morgan. (Movie: The Lake House [2006]) | |
Hostess: And when were you hoping to dine with us?
Alex: Two years from tomorrow.
Hostess: Two years from tomorrow?
Alex: Yeah.
Hostess: Two years?
Alex: From tomorrow. (Movie: The Lake House [2006]) | |
Kate: He's not my boyfriend.
Alex: What is he, then? Your brother?
Kate: Oh, we have a comedian! What, did you eat clown for breakfast?
Alex: Wonderful. Our first fight. (Movie: The Lake House [2006]) | |
Simon Wyler: Come on. Tell me. Where have you been?
Alex: [a long pause] I've been trying to forget you and forgive you.
Simon Wyler: Did you succeed?
Alex: No. (Movie: The Lake House [2006]) | |
Kate's Mother: He sounds like a nice boy.
Kate: [disbelievingly] Anything else?
Kate's Mother: You mean the time-thing? That's just a detail. (Movie: The Lake House [2006]) | |
Kate's Mother: You're so skinny now! Do you remember how you used to eat when you were a little girl?
[mimics heavy eating] (Movie: The Lake House [2006]) | |
Morgan: [interrupting Kate and Alex's kiss] Kate.
Kate: [awkwardly] Um, Alex was just telling me about the lake house. Yeah, it sounds really great.
Morgan: Great. (Movie: The Lake House [2006]) | |
Kate: It's nice. It's safe.
Anna Klyczynski: Christ, he's in prison, isn't he? You're one of *those* women, aren't you? (Movie: The Lake House [2006]) | |
Alex: [after he saw her at the subway station in 2004] I don't know if you remember but, we saw each other. That is, I saw you. You never told me... how beautiful you were.
Kate: Well, maybe you saw someone else. That was a bad hair year for me.
Alex: Long brown hair, gentle unguarded eyes...
Kate: OK, OK. You saw me. But I still don't know what you look like. (Movie: The Lake House [2006]) | |
Kate: Okay, my mystery correspondent, I get it - just in case you really are where and when you think you are, you'll need this
[he takes out a scarf from his mailbox]
Kate: . There was a freak late snow and everyone got sick. So, plenty of rest, lots of fluids. Doctor's orders.
Alex: [sarcastically] Snow. Right. (Movie: The Lake House [2006]) | |
Alex: What's it like in the year 2006?
Kate: Well, I'm afraid the world's pretty much the same. Of course, we all dress in shiny metal jumpsuits and drive flying cars and no one talks anymore because we can read each other's minds... but, the truth is, from the past, not much has really changed in 2006. (Movie: The Lake House [2006]) | |
Girl Patient: My mom's last boyfriend was bald. He was nice, but she didn't marry him.
Kate: No?
Girl Patient: There's always something better coming around the corner. That's what she says...
Kate: If she's not careful, she can spend her whole life waiting. (Movie: The Lake House [2006]) | |
Alex: I'm married too. I've got eight children and none of them look like me. I'm worried, Kate.
Kate: I would be too.
Alex: [chuckles] I'm single. (Movie: The Lake House [2006]) | |
Kate: Now, tell me did you or did you not write each other?
Kate's Mother: To your father?
Kate: No, Clark Gable. (Movie: The Lake House [2006]) | |
Alex: You've got some nice pieces here.
Simon Wyler: Oh, yeah. Music's fine, music helps. It's like Nietzche says... Life would be…
Alex: Senseless with music. (Movie: The Lake House [2006]) | |
[Upon finding a decaying toe]
Hector: Is this the man that was killed?
Sheriff Hank Keough: He seemed... taller. (Movie: Lake Placid [1999]) | |
Sheriff Hank Keough: Ma'am, your husband Bernie, you didn't by any chance lead him to the lake blindfolded?
Mrs. Bickerman: If I had a dick, this is where I'd tell you to suck it! (Movie: Lake Placid [1999]) | |
[to a game warden]
Hector Cyr: I'm a civilian, not a trout - you have no authority over me whatsoever. (Movie: Lake Placid [1999]) | |
Kelly Scott: The lake is so black and still.
Sheriff Hank Keough: Yeah, we wanted to call it Lake Placid, but we heard that name was already taken. (Movie: Lake Placid [1999]) | |
Jack Wells: It's not a science trip.
Kelly Scott: Could you be a little more condescending? 'Cause I'm not real great with subtlety.
Jack Wells: Something in that lake killed somebody, all right? I appreciate your trying to help. I'm really glad that you... brought the RAID.
Kelly Scott: There, that's better.
Jack Wells: Ma'am...
Kelly Scott: Look, if you call me "ma'am" one more time I'll sue you for sexual harrassment, and with today's laws, it's possible.
Sheriff Hank Keough: She's good. (Movie: Lake Placid [1999]) | |
Hector: You got to fire your big gun. Did it meet your expectations?
Sheriff Hank Keough: Overrated. (Movie: Lake Placid [1999]) | |
Sheriff Hank Keough: I... I... I never heard of a crocodile crossing an ocean.
Hector Cyr: Well, they conceal information like that in books. (Movie: Lake Placid [1999]) | |
Sheriff Hank Keough: Tents were sent ahead. Should already be set up by the time we get there.
Kelly Scott: Tents? We're staying in TENTS?
Sheriff Hank Keough: I told you, two days we'd have to camp.
Kelly Scott: Yes! Camp! But I thought that meant Ramada Inn. I never heard tents! Will there be toilets?
Jack Wells: Maybe we should just take you back.
Kelly Scott: Why? Because I prefer toilets?
Kelly Scott: Maybe I should just wipe myself with some leafy little piece of poison oak. And then I can spend the whole day scratchin' my ass, blendin' in with the natives. (Movie: Lake Placid [1999]) | |
Kelly Scott: Uh, there's something I wanted to ask you. What's it like to be a woman in the woods of Maine? I mean, the guys don't turn all horny or anything like they did in Deliverance, right?
[She sees Jack Wells is listening]
Kelly Scott: Ahh... I knew you were there.
Jack Wells: Hmm. Never been to Maine before, huh?
Kelly Scott: Oh, I have good hygiene, I'm not welcome. (Movie: Lake Placid [1999]) | |
Sheriff Hank Keough: Who are you?
Hector Cyr: Hector Cyr, I said it once, lemme know when it |
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