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[as the shark approaches Brody]
Martin Brody: Alright, you big bastard! Come On! I've got something for ya' now! That's it! Attaboy, come one! Right over here! (Movie: Jaws 2 [1978]) | |
Martin Brody: Oh, Hendricks, good! Right this way. Excuse us, please. I want you to come in here and, er, check out this 908.
Hendricks: What the hell's a 908? I've never heard of a 908!
Martin Brody: 908 means get me outta there! (Movie: Jaws 2 [1978]) | |
Mrs. Taft: Good morning. Selling some more of the good life?
Ellen Brody: Oh, yeah... Piece of this, piece of that - it all adds up.
Mrs. Taft: Your husband's been here all morning. What's he doing?
Ellen Brody: His job. (Movie: Jaws 2 [1978]) | |
Ellen Brody: That's your third smoke already!
Martin Brody: [complacent] Good coffee...
Ellen Brody: Try a donut. (Movie: Jaws 2 [1978]) | |
Phil Fogarty: I can't watch a ball game anymore, I can't watch the news anymore! I can't even watch a movie! All I hear is that damn kid and his damn radio going "Breaker, Breaker, Breaker"!
Martin Brody: Well, I'll see what I can do, but remember, it's under federal jurisdiction.
Phil Fogarty: So call the FBI! (Movie: Jaws 2 [1978]) | |
Martin Brody: I mean, it's obvious that a big fish took a bite out of... this big fish.
Dr. Elkins: This is a mammal. Not a fish.
Martin Brody: Don't quibble with me! Is it a shark bite or isn't it?
Dr. Elkins: Possibly. Again, this is a killer whale, wouldn't have to be a shark a considerable size. (Movie: Jaws 2 [1978]) | |
Helicopter Pilot: That you, Brody?
Martin Brody: Listen, did you have a fix on those kids yet?
Helicopter Pilot: Negative - I'm still down.
Martin Brody: Well, you'd better get the hell up because, I'm out here all alone! (Movie: Jaws 2 [1978]) | |
Andy Williams: Did your mom put all this together?
Mike Brody: Yeah, it's her job.
Andy Williams: Did she make the punch?
Mike Brody: No.
Andy Williams: [throwing it back in the bowl] Good, it's terrible! (Movie: Jaws 2 [1978]) | |
[after Brody has been fired]
Martin Brody: Maybe they're right... I'm tired... I'm tired... Too damn tired...
Ellen Brody: Too damn drunk. That's what you are, too damn drunk. (Movie: Jaws 2 [1978]) | |
[Hendricks and Red are dragging the ocean in the police launch]
Red: We've been over this a dozen times.
Hendricks: I know, I know!
Red: How much longer?
Hendricks: Until we find something!
Red: But I'm cold, bored...
Hendricks: You're bored! (Movie: Jaws 2 [1978]) | |
[the launch snags a power line]
Red: Oh, shit! Drop it!
Hendricks: Wh- What is it?
Red: Drop it! It's a power line!
Hendricks: Oh, terrific! (Movie: Jaws 2 [1978]) | |
Martin Brody: Better check the bite radius.
Dr. Elkins: The what?
Martin Brody: The shape of the mouth...
Dr. Elkins: Whales mouth?
Martin Brody: Shark's mouth.
Dr. Elkins: What shark?
Martin Brody: The shark that did this.
Dr. Elkins: We don't know that, do we?
Martin Brody: But we're here to find out!
Dr. Elkins: And we will.
Hendricks: I can't hear you if you're going to whisper! (Movie: Jaws 2 [1978]) | |
| Tina Wilcox: ...Now I'm getting black and blue marks all over my butt, and my moms starting to get uptight about them! (Movie: Jaws 2 [1978]) | |
Martin Brody: I think we've got another shark problem.
Mayor Larry Vaughn: Are you serious?
Martin Brody: You bet I'm serious. (Movie: Jaws 2 [1978]) | |
Len Peterson: Brody, this is nothing! Seaweed, mud, something on the lens...
Martin Brody: Lens my ass!
Len Peterson: You're damn right it's your ass! (Movie: Jaws 2 [1978]) | |
[looking for a dance]
Timmy: Who are you going to ask next?
Doug: Tina Wilcox.
Timmy: Ed's girlfriend... You're crazy!
Doug: It doesn't hurt to ask. Sometimes the most beautiful girls are the loneliest.
Timmy: That's a crock of shit!
Timmy: I know! (Movie: Jaws 2 [1978]) | |
| Martin Brody: You don't have to worry about being sued or being ruined if this turns out to be what I think it is, because there won't be anybody here! (Movie: Jaws 2 [1978]) | |
| Martin Brody: But I'm telling you, and I'm telling everybody at this table that that's a shark! And I know what a shark looks like, because I've seen one up close. And you'd better do something about this one, because I don't intend to go through that hell again! (Movie: Jaws 2 [1978]) | |
Martin Brody: That boat's gonna take you in. Where the hell are they?
Hendricks: About ten degrees off your starboard bow. You take...
Martin Brody: Don't give me that shit, point! (Movie: Jaws 2 [1978]) | |
| Sissy: Y'know, I don't get you, Justice. You used to be into all this girl stuff. Stealing, boning, blowing shit up, and now you're like this little priss with a conscience. It's really a fucking drag. (Movie: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back [2001]) | |
Jay: I am the master of the C.L.I.T. Remember this fucking face. Whenever you see C.L.I.T., you'll see this fucking face. I make that shit work. It does whatever the fuck I tell it to. No one rules the C.L.I.T like me. Not this little fuck
[referring to Silent Bob]
Jay: , none of you little fucks out there. I AM THE C.L.I.T. COMMANDER! Remember that, commander of all C.L.I.T.s! When it comes down to business, this is what I do. I pinch it like this. OOH you little fuck. Then I rub my nose with it. (Movie: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back [2001]) | |
Holden: If the buzz is any indicator, that movie's gonna make some huge bank.
Jay: What buzz?
Holden: The Internet buzz.
Jay: What the fuck is the Internet?
Holden: The Internet is a communication tool used the world over where people can come together to bitch about movies and share pornography with one another. (Movie: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back [2001]) | |
Banky: Stop the movie? What are you, crazy?
Jay: All these assholes on the internet are calling us names because of this stupid fucking movie.
Banky: That's what the internet is for. Slandering others anonymously. Stopping the flick isn't gonna stop that.
Jay: This isn't fair. We came to Hollywood, I fell in love. Fuckin', we got shot at, we stole a monkey, and I got punched in the motherfucking nuts by a guy named Cock-Knocker.
Banky: You know what? I feel for you boys, I really do, but Miramax - you know, Miramax Films - paid me a shitload of money for Bluntman and Chronic. So it occurs to me that people badmouthing you on some website, is NONE OF MY FUCKING CONCERN!
Silent Bob: Oh, but I think it is... We had a deal with you, on the comics remember, for likeness rights, and as we're not only the artistic basis, but also obviously the character basis, for your intellectual property, Bluntman and Chronic. When said property was optioned by Miramax Films, you were legally obliged to secure our permission to transfer the concept to another medium. As you failed to do that, Banky, you are in breach of the original contract, ergo you find yourself in a very actionable position.
Jay: Yeah. (Movie: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back [2001]) | |
Tricia Jones: [on "Bluntman and Chronic: The Movie"] Well! That was just another paean to male adolescence and it's refusal to grow up.
Alyssa Jones: Yeah, sis. But it was better than "Mallrats". At least Holden had the good sense to leave his name off of it.
Tricia Jones: Why didn't Miramax option his other comic instead. You know, the one about you and him and your "relationship"?
Alyssa Jones: Oh, "Chasing Amy"? That would never work as a movie. (Movie: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back [2001]) | |
Jay: Do they say who's fuckin' playing us in the movie?
Holden: No, but it's Miramax. So I'm sure it'll be Ben Affleck and Matt Damon. They put those guys in a bunch of movies.
Jay: Who?
Holden: You know, those kids from Good Will Hunting?
Jay: You mean that fuckin' movie with Mork from Ork in it?
Holden: Yeah, I wasn't a big fan either... but Affleck was the bomb in "Phantoms".
Jay: Word, bitch, Phantoms like a mallfucker. (Movie: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back [2001]) | |
Chaka's Production Assistant: [after asked to get a new clean latte] Here's your coffee sir, booger-free.
Chaka Luther King: [slaps it out his hands] Get that shit the fuck out of here. (Movie: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back [2001]) | |
| Whillenholly: It may not be my way, but damn if there doesn't go one happy family. All right, gang, let's just shoot some tear gas into the diner, and then when the guys come out with the monkey, we'll... Fuckbeans. That was them, wasn't it? (Movie: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back [2001]) | |
Brodie: Oh my God. Don't tell me you have no idea there's a movie being made of the comic you two were the basis for.
Jay: What? Since when?
Brodie: See, here's the pulse. And this is your finger, far away from the pulse, jammed straight up your ass. Say, would you like a chocolate covered pretzel? (Movie: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back [2001]) | |
[typing a message on an internet chat room]
Jay: All you motherfuckers are gonna pay. You are the ones who are the ball-lickers. We're gonna fuck your mothers while you watch and cry like little bitches. Once we get to Hollywood and find those Miramax fucks who are making that movie, we're gonna make 'em eat our shit, then shit out our shit, then eat their shit which is made up of our shit that we made 'em eat. Then you're all you motherfucks are next. Love, Jay and Silent Bob. (Movie: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back [2001]) | |
Justice: Hi, I'm Justice.
Jay: And I'm so fucking yours.
[Justice is almost repulsed when Jay makes a quick save]
Jay: Oh, Hi, I'm Jay and this is my hetero-life-mate, Silent Bob.
Justice: It's nice to meet you.
Jay: Justice, that's a nice name...
[aside]
Jay: Jay and Justice sitting in a tree, f-u-c-k-i-n-g... (Movie: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back [2001]) | |
Willenholly: Put the monkey down, and your hands up. Let's go, misters. Do you want to get shot? I didn't think so.
Jay: Look, man. She doesn't want to go back to the lab. And for the record, I ain't gay.
Willenholly: And for the record, while we're one the subject, I knew that wasn't a real little boy.
Jay: And for one more record, he loves the cock. (Movie: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back [2001]) | |
Missy: Oh my god, he just called Sissy 'Juggs'.
Chrissy: I'm on it.
[pulls out knife]
Jay: What's with the knife, we havin' cake or something?
Chrissy: Great, he's retarded to boot.
Jay: [to Silent Bob] Dude, she called you retarded. (Movie: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back [2001]) | |
Jay: Holy fuck, is that monkey waving at us? Oh, shit, It understood us! Maybe it's some kind of supermonkey. What if there's more supermonkeys up at that lab?
[shouts]
Jay: What if they're creating an army of them? Holy shit. It must be a conspiracy like in the X-Files... *Roswell* style! This little monkey could be the fuckin' damn dirty ape responsible for the fall of the human race. In this world gone mad, we won't spank the monkey- the monkey will spank us. And after the fall of man, these monkey fucks'll start wearing our clothes and rebuilding the world in their image. Oh and only those as super smart as me will be left alive to bitterly cry - *you maniacs*! Damn yous! Goddamn yous all to hell! (Movie: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back [2001]) | |
[several security guards, led by Gordon, have suddenly rushed onto the set of Good Will Hunting 2: Hunting Season]
Miramax Studios Security Guard Gordon: Sorry to interrupt sirs, but we've got a 10-07 on our hands.
Matt Damon: [exasperated] Oh Jesus, again Ben?
Ben Affleck: [cocky] No, bullshit, because I wasn't WITH a hooker today, ha-HA!
Miramax Studios Security Guard Gordon: There they are!
Jay: Affleck, you the bomb in "Phantoms", yo! (Movie: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back [2001]) | |
Miramax Security Guard Gordon: Echo Base, I've got a 10-07: two unauthorized on the lot, requesting backup.
Echo Base: [over Gordon's walkie talkie] I thought that was a 10-82.
Miramax Security Guard Gordon: No sir, a 10-82 is disappearing a dead hooker from Ben Affleck's trailer.
Echo Base: [slightly amused] Oh, that Affleck! Backup on the way... (Movie: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back [2001]) | |
[regarding the Bluntman and Chronic movie]
Randal Graves: That was definitely worse than "Clash of the Titans."
Dante Hicks: I can't believe Judi Dench played me.
Randal Graves: Remind me to renew that restraining order.
Dante Hicks: Why?
Randal Graves: Because I'm going to blast that flick on the internet tonight. (Movie: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back [2001]) | |
| Holden: Why in God's name would I wanna keep writing about characters whose central preoccupation are weed and dick and fart jokes? I mean, ya gotta grow man. Don't you ever want anything more for yourself? I know this poor hapless son of a bitch does. I look into his sorry doe eyes and I just, I see a man crying out. He's crying out, "When Lord? When the fuck can your servant ditch this foul-mouthed little chucklehead to whom I am a constant victim of his folly, so much so that it prevents him from ever getting to kiss a girl! Fuck! When, Lord when? WHENS GONNA BE MY TIME?" (Movie: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back [2001]) | |
Jay: What are you trying to say? Just say it already.
Silent Bob: [screams] THE SIGN on the back of the car said "Critters Of HOLLYWOOD", YOU DUMB FUCK!
Jay: Say it, don't spray it. (Movie: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back [2001]) | |
Devil Jay: [appears out of nowhere] Mua-ha-ha-ha! Man, what the fuck are you waiting for? She went for the set up. Reach in your pants and pull your cock out, bitch! Girls like that kinda shit.
Devil Jay 2: [appears out of nowhere] Mua-ha-ha-ha! Right about here is where the angel's supposed to show up and tell you NOT to pull your dick out, but we bitch-slapped that motherfucker and send him packing, so it's smooth sailing. Let it rip boy...
[Both devils disappear]
Angel Jay: [with a black eye, appears out of nowhere and singing] Jesus loves the little children...
[Stops singing]
Angel Jay: Oh sorry I'm late. So what's the deal here?
[looks down at Jay's erection]
Angel Jay: Oh shit! Don't tell me your thinking of whipping your dick at that fine piece of woman, are you?
[Jay nods. Angel slaps Jay with his harp]
Angel Jay: Tell you what... Look over at Silent Bob and see if he thinks that a good idea to whip your dick out.
[Jay looks at Silent Bob with a questioning look. Silent Bob shakes his head]
Angel Jay: That's it boy, put the dick down. You gotta go from the heart, yo. No little perv-bullshit's gonna work for this one. Be smooth. Be Don Juan de la Nooch. Now I gotta beat the shit out of those punch-sucker little bitches. Remember: Don't pull your dick out 'till she ask, or until she's sleeping. BOOOONG...
[disappears] (Movie: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back [2001]) | |
[Jay tries to talk his way out of a drug bust]
Jay: What? I've got a wiping problem. I just stick those little pieces up my brown-eye and bam! I get no stains in my undies. What you don't believe me? Check this shit out. Spread my cheeks, so he can see the fucking stink nuggets! (Movie: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back [2001]) | |
Hooker #1: Hey, little man! You want some of this?
Hooker #2: How 'bout you, big boy?
Hooker #1: You got 50 bucks, we can get NASTY.
Jay: Oh, yeah? How nasty?
Hooker #2: As nasty as you want to be, papi.
Jay: Oh, all right. Well, first, I want you to tongue my bung, while you juggle my balls in one hand, and play with my asshole with the other, but don't stick you're finger in. Then I want to pinky you while I stick in your fuckin' friend's brown, while Silent Bob watches, and fuckin' spanks it in a Dixie cup. After that, I want to smell your titties for a while, and you can pull my nutsack up over my dick so it looks like a bullfrog. Then I want you to fuckin' flick my nuts while your friend spanks me off in the same Dixie cup that Silent Bob jizzed in. Then, we throw the Dixie cup out.
[brief silence]
Hooker #1: Oh, that's it, honey! I quit! This job just passed the point of no return!
[both hookers leave]
Jay: What? You said "nasty"!
[to Silent Bob]
Jay: Man, chicks in Hollywood are so stuck-up. (Movie: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back [2001]) | |
| Jay: Don't you never say an unkind word about the Time! Me and Silent Bob modeled our whole fucking lives around Morris Day and Jerome. I'm a smooth pimp who loves the pussy. And Tubby here is my black man servant. What? (Movie: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back [2001]) | |
Jay: Hey, wait a second! Aren't you the guy who fucked the pie!
Jason Biggs: You see! It's never "Hey! You're that guy from Loser" or "Hey you rocked in Boys and Girls." No, it always comes back to that fucking pie! I'm HAUNTED by it!
James Van Der Beek: You put your dick in a pie! (Movie: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back [2001]) | |
Teen #1: Jay says you guys had a Star Wars themed wedding, and you tied the knot dressed as Storm Troopers.
Teen #2: Yeah, and he says you're the bitch and you're the butch.
Dante Hicks: I'm the BITCH?
Randal Graves: Well, if we were gay, that's certainly the way I'd see it.
Dante Hicks: Will you shut up!
Teen #1: [to Teen #2] Holy shit, dude. The honeymoon's over. (Movie: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back [2001]) | |
Jay: [singing] Fuck, fuck, fuck, / Mother, mother fuck, / Mother, mother fuck, fuck / Mother fuck, mother fuck, / Noich noich noich, / 1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4, / Noich, noich noich / Smokin' weed, smokin' wizz, / Doin' coke, drinkin' beers, / Drinkin' beers, beers, beers, / Rollin' fattys, smokin' blunts, / Who smokes the blunts? / We smoke the blunts. / Rollin' blunts and smokin'...
Teen #2: Uh, let me get a nickel bag.
Jay: [singing] / Fifteen bucks, little man, / Put that shit in my hand, / If that money doesn't show, / Then you owe me, owe me, owe, / My jungle love, yeah, / Owe-ee, owe-ee, owe, / I think I want to know ya, know ya, / Yeah, what?
Teen #1: What the hell are you singing?
Jay: You don't know "Jungle Love?" That shit is the mad notes. Written by God herself and sent down to the greatest band in the world: The mother-fucking Time.
Teen #2: You mean the guys in that Prince movie?
[Silent Bob points to the two teens]
Teen #1: Yeah, Purple Rain.
Teen #2: Man, that shit was so gay - fucking eighties style. (Movie: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back [2001]) | |
[James Van Der Beek and Jason Biggs are being arrested by mistake]
James Van Der Beek: You've got the wrong guys! Doesn't anyone watch the WB?
Jason Biggs: I'm a teen idol, dammit! Don't you recognize me? Look at me. I'm the pie fucker.
Miramax Studios Security Guard Gordon: [to his buddies] Yeah, well. In prison, he'll be the pie. (Movie: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back [2001]) | |
Jay: Miramax? I thought they only did classy pictures, like "The Piano" and "The Crying Game".
Brodie: Yeah, but then they made "She's All That" and it went downhill from there. (Movie: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back [2001]) | |
[the Scooby gang are arguing amongst themselves]
Jay: Yo! You guys need to turn those frowns upside down. And I got just the thing for that.
[pulls out a bag of rolled up joints]
Jay: We call them... Doobie Snax. (Movie: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back [2001]) | |
Jason Biggs: No. I, I love gay people.
James Van Der Beek: Yeah, I'll bet you do.
Jason Biggs: No, I'm fine with gay...
[Jason Biggs notices the orangutan]
Jason Biggs: Oh, look at the monkey.
James Van Der Beek: Now you're gonna tell me the monkey's gay.
Jason Biggs: Well, how do you know he doesn't smoke monkey pole? (Movie: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back [2001]) | |
Jay: What's twistin' this bitches tit?
Justice: Maybe it's because girls don't like to be called bitches, Jay.
Jay: They don't? How 'bout "fine piece of ass"?
Justice: How about not.
Jay: Then what the fuck am I supposed to call you?
Justice: Something sweet, ya big goof. Something nice.
Jay: Boo boo kitty fuck?
Justice: That's... a start. (Movie: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back [2001]) | |
[Jay and Silent Bob are hitchhiking on a road late at night]
Jay: I can't belive this shit. Five hours and not a single ride. Every day people hitch to Hollywood to stop studios from making films about 'em, but when you and me try it, it's like we're trapped in a fuckin' cartoon.
[the Mystery Machine van from the Scooby Doo cartoons pulls up alongside Jay and Silent Bob] (Movie: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back [2001]) | |
Jay: It's a Miramax flick. We gotta bust up some people who were calling us names on the internet, even thought they're not really talking about us but characters based on us, and at the same time find my ex-girlfriend-who-was-killed-by-a-car-explosion's monkey.
Pumpkin Escobar: Man... I don't know what the FUCK you just said, Little Kid, but you're special man, you reached out, and you touch a brother's heart. (Movie: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back [2001]) | |
Jay: [after tossing Brent out of the van] Now who's stupid, you dirty sheep fucker?
Brent: I would *never* fuck a sheep!
[sees a sheep in a nearby field]
Brent: Hey there. How you doing?
[reaches for a condom]
Brent: I *love* animals.
[goes for the sheep] (Movie: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back [2001]) | |
[first lines]
Silent Bob's Mother: Bobby Boy, stay here while mommy picks up the free cheese, kay? Here, this will keep the sun out of your eyes.
[puts a baseball cap on his head backwards]
Silent Bob's Mother: You be good, now.
[walks in store, then Jay and his Mom arrive]
Jay's Mother: Alright, don't you fuckin' move you little shit machine. Your Momma's going to try to score.
Passerby: What the hell? 'Scuse me. Who's watching these babies?
Jay's Mother: Uh... the fat one's watchin the little one?
Passerby: Oh yeah, nice parenting. Leave 'em out here like that and see what happens.
Jay's Mother: YO, FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING SQUARE!
Passerby: Oh yeah, keep on truckin'!
Jay's Mother: [to infant Jay] Did ya hear that fuckin' guy tellin' me how to fuckin' raise ya? What a motherfucker, man! Who the fuck does that fuckin' guy think he is? What's the worst fuckin' thing that can fuckin' happen to ya just standing outside a fuckin' store, right? Fuck!
[Jay's mother walks into the record store, leaving infant Jay and Silent Bob in their strollers]
Baby Jay: [his first words] Fuck... fuck... fuck... fuck... (Movie: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back [2001]) | |
[last lines]
Jay: [clears throat] And I'll be, like, "What, you don't know fuckin' Jay and Silent Bob? The fuckin' mack daddys of fuckin' Jersey?" And she'll be, like, "Oh, I've read on the Internet that youse guys are a couple of little
[emphatically to Silent Bob]
Jay: fuckholes!"
[both laugh] (Movie: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back [2001]) | |
Jay: So your in this for the pussy right?
Brent: No, I'm in this because I LOOOVE animals, stupid?
Jay: Even Sheep?
Brent: Of course. Sheep are beautiful creatures.
Jay: So would you fuck a sheep?
Brent: What is your damage, little boy. You have a sick and twisted world perspective.
Jay: No, you're misunderstaning me, Prince Valiant. I'm saying if you were a sheep, would you fuck a sheep, if you were another sheep?
Brent: Well, in that case, you bet your sweet ass I would.
Jay: Thought so.
[Yelling]
Jay: Yo, this motherfucker ain't one of us. He said he'd fuck a sheep!
Brent: No! No! No!
Jay: [Throws Brent out the door of the van, flips him off as he's looking out the door as they're still driving] WHO'S STUPID NOW, DIRTY SHEEP FUCKER! (Movie: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back [2001]) | |
| Chaka: Do you know that I came up with the idea for Sesame Street? I came up with it before PBS. The white man stole it. That's right. I was gonna call it "N.W.P." - Niggaz With Puppets. Catchy, ain't it? (Movie: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back [2001]) | |
[after the "Bluntman & Chronic" premiere]
Banky: God, I'm so embarrassed.
Hooper: You should be. They took your intellectual property and turned it into one 90-minute long gay joke. It was like watching "Batman & Robin" all over again. (Movie: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back [2001]) | |
[Willenholly and the Utah police confront Jay and Silent Bob]
Sheriff: Are you fucking crazy? Now they may be gay, but that's not their son. That's the ape.
Whillenholly: I think I would recognize an ape if I saw one, okay? And the only thing I do recognize right now is the political fiasco I'm about to avoid here by letting this butt-fucking Brady Bunch go. (Movie: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back [2001]) | |
[on his cell phone]
Whillenholly: Plaschke, this is Willenholly. I need you to get me on the national news, pronto. Why? Because we may very well be dealing with the two most dangerous men on the planet. (Movie: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back [2001]) | |
Jay: So, you think I could get a little kiss for good luck?
[Justice kisses him passionately]
Jay: Think I could get a little blow job for good luck?
Justice: No. Go.
Jay: Fuck.
[Silent Bob tries to get a good luck of his own]
Jay: Get off my Kool-Aid motherfucka! (Movie: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back [2001]) | |
Justice: They didn't really steal the monkey. It was just a diversion so we could steal these.
[showing a bag of stolen diamonds]
Justice: And they're not the leaders of the C.L.I.T. The C.L.I.T is not real.
Whillenholly: No the clit is real. Its the female orgasm that's the myth. (Movie: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back [2001]) | |
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